ABC's of Swinging & Polyamory

Love without boundaries.. One year mark

2011-10-21T08:14:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday Mrs ABC and I marked our one year anniversary with Mr and Mrs Shallow. Funny I still use those code words for our lovers, but it's only to help those following this blog. Yes, one year in a relationship that most would consider insane, dangerous, silly, too difficult.. did I miss one? Seriously, after reading about most poly relationships, I've found that most are doomed from day one.

Mrs Shallow hates it when I refer to this relationship as a poly one. And deep down, I don't consider it poly actually. As we were lying in each others arms the other night we were discussing the term poly, and she told me she hated it because it really is just a label and our relationship is more then a silly label. This is something I've thought about for a while as well and I realized, our relationship is unique to us. It doesn't fit a stereotype or label because it is intimately are own.

However, labels sometimes are needed for those outside the relationship, and it's difficult at times defining what we are to others. It's still difficult feeling comfortable telling others about our relationship, though we feel it is natural as any relationship we've had with others in our life. I think that's why Mrs Shallow (see another label) is unwilling to call it "poly". I think she does not wish to cheapen the relationship with a term that some look at as weird or strange. Though I feel some people do not view that word the same, the problem is a majority of Americans would and do consider what we're doing as weird or crazy.

Most prejudice originates from fear and the lack of knowledge. The problem with most Americans is they have been indoctrinated at church and in our homes that "different" isn't always a good thing. But over the past 30 years diversity and celebrating difference is now considered a good thing by the secular world. The whole Gay Marriage debate is a clash of traditional home style values and secular progression. But then again, why do we have to take sides? Why can't we adopt what we want from each side and call it a day?

When I look at our relationship with our lovers and I'm sure they may see similar qualities in us. They are a lot like us in many ways. Conservative in some area's politically, from similar socio-economic backgrounds. We were a little different in terms of religious belief, but we do hold a number of traditional values as well. The difference is we have sex with more then one partner! I know.. it's so horrible to the religious world we often come from, but strange enough we're still upstanding citizens. We still pay our taxes, we still push our children to excel in school. No we haven't turned into crack addicted addicts roaming the streets!

What we simply enjoy together is a deep and quiet love for one another. One that has grown and developed over the past year. A love that maybe complicated at times, but also something that has brought us all great joy and happiness. I remember on my religious mission, how I'd tell investigators that the sign that something is from God is that it would bear "fruit" of happiness, peace and joy. Well, I've felt that joy and happiness, from the intimate embraces of my lover, to enjoying the friendship now I have with her spouse, to the feelings of family we share when they spend the weekend with my wife and our family (our kids). So God or no God, the simple truth is that we are HAPPY. Is it perfect.. of course not, but what is ever perfect.

Some wonder if it's about sex. It hasn't been about sex for sometime for me. It's been about creating a new relationship, with all it's challenges and complexities. It's been about harvesting the fruits of that relationship and finding out what love is all about. I'm looking forward to the next year and what it may bring. One thing I have learned though, you have to take everything one day at a time. That's what I love most about this relationship, no promises, no expectations. But I do know that everyone in this relationship has enjoyed the sublime joy and happiness I've mentioned. It's that happiness that keeps us together, and I hope it motivates us to work out any challenge we may face in the future. I just love what we have and what we are now.

For those considering this type of lifestyle. Yes, it is worth it. Is there a risk of failure? Could you get hurt emotionally ? Is there a risk of affecting your primary relationships? The answer of course is YES. But think about this.. isn't there a risk of that happening anyway? I'm not advocating that everyone should jump into a relationship like our own, but I wouldn't discourage you from it.

First real update.. Yes, we have it!

2011-09-04T10:09:00.000-07:00

Kind of left it in the air last May, but it's time to come clean. Yes, my wife and I have contracted HSV2 (Genital Herpes). It's funny that today I make that announcement, but last night my wife mentioned she maybe having her second outbreak, which I later confirmed examining her. This one is a lot less painful then the first, but it's the final confirmation that we have this nasty little disease.

So is it the end of our world.. OH HELL NO!! Hardly.. but it has caused us to reflect on our choices in terms of future swinging experiences. It hasn't affected our relationship with our lovers, in fact in some ways it has brought us even closer together. But it has required us to completely change the way we interact sexually with others in the lifestyle. In fact we've been celibate in terms of opening up to anyone new. Most of that is just a satisfaction with what we currently have with our dear friends, but then there is still that itch (pardon the pun) to mingle with new people. The reality is that responsibly sexual people tell their potential partners that they have an STD. Mrs ABC had had a number of single men ask if it was possible to get together, but when the subject of STD's are brought up, then it's silence from the other side (which we both understand). There still have been a couple of guys willing but Mrs ABC is just not in the mode to push it. So yes, there is a curiosity but not an over whelming need for it at all. As she put it, she's feeling more then sexually fulfilled at this point and nothing in our swinging adventures ever touched what we have now.

Swinging was always more about the flirting then the sex. In swinging the "newness" was a turn on to Mrs ABC, because it was almost like the "hunt". To be honest, I liked flirting as well, especially with someone new that finds you sexy. In the beginning of our swinging lifestyle, I think I really didn't enjoy it like I could have because of some self image issues with myself, but lately, as I exercise and lose weight, I'm now finding that I'm attractive and sexy in my own way. Sexy is just a state of mind I'm finding, a way of being, less about how you look naked.

One thing that has bothered me though is the attitude among swingers regarding STD's. I posted a long forum message about our plight. Many thought it was brave and to be honest I was nervous doing so. But the supportive response was appreciated. The sad truth is it did very little to change most swingers attitudes about playing. Just read another blog today about Mormon Swingers, it made me realize how naive we were in the beginning of this adventure. I can't even believe how sad I would have been if our STD had come from some casual mean nothing sexual encounter with another couple. The fact that we possibly contracted it form someone we love and care about is one thing, but to think we could have picked it up from someone we barely knew, now that would have been a harder pill to swallow.

This last paragraph is to all you experienced, newbie, and potential swingers!! Read this carefully and think about it. IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU! Do the research folks and protect yourself. There should be a warning label that you get at each party anyone attends in the lifestyle. Warning: Sex can be dangerous to your health, especially if you do not use proper safe sex practices, such as condoms, dental dams, but even that is not a guarantee that you will not get it from touch as well (See HSV2).

Decided to bring back my blog

2011-09-04T08:57:00.000-07:00

I've decided to bring back ABC's of Swinging for the time being. Reason I took it down were for personal reasons. A family member had found the blog, and frankly I felt uncomfortable with it out there at that point. Since then I've decided that what ever my "family' thinks they know is just fine. This family member that does read this blog is unlikely to tell others, but if she found it then it's just a matter of time before more find out.

One reason I'm bringing it back is that we (Mrs ABC and I) have had a number of profound experiences in our life that merit our sharing them with our small community. I'm going to take each topic separately so not to diminish it's importance. As for updates and play by play details of sexual experiences, sorry folks, this "ain't" the place for that type of post. The biggest reason is for how I view sex. Though I think I've grown from my Mormon roots in terms of the way I used to view sex, I still view it differently then others, including my wife.

I've also struggled recently as to define who I am within the parameter of swinging. Am I a swinger, or am I poly, or am I just my own unique brand? I'm realizing that labels are useless really and often it just is what it is. Sorry for the cliche but it's the truth in my case.

So apologies to those who read this blog in the past. This is going to be somewhat different then past posts, though I feel it was headed that way anyway. This blog was really created as a way to share experiences with others in the lifestyle or looking at the possibility of getting into it. Hopefully there is something that we share that will help you in that adventure, but do it safely!!

Warning... this may make some Swingers uncomfortable

2011-05-22T19:49:00.000-07:00

Yes, this is the post that most swingers fear. The post that many swingers do not wish to discuss and often quietly fade into the woodwork. Recently I came down with what I thought was a bladder infection and shortly after my wife came down with something that we've yet to confirm but it looks like HSV-2.

Now nothing is confirmed and we were shocked. We've been in a closed relationship now with another couple for several months. We were all STD tested for the basic Planned Parenthood standard STD nasties. But of course they don't test for Herpes, and so we didn't have any symptoms ever so why test.

Now we're unsure that anyone has HSV-2 at this point. My wife came down with symptoms that her OBGYN thinks is Herpes, she's taken the test now. Our lovers have taken the test, I'm going to take the test tomorrow, but it's a little unsettling. Not to get too graphic, but it could be a number of different scenarios at this point. We're hoping it's just a staph infection at this point.

But even if it isn't HSV-2, it still has rocked us. We've been kind of on our way out of swinging full time anyway. But this would put the nail in the proverbial coffin. I think my wife would still like to continue in the lifestyle if she is not infected with HSV-2 but after educating ourselves about this disease, the typical Swinger lifestyle is now not as appealing.

The lifestyle is not what is the issue, it's how couples are about it. STD's are so misunderstood in regards to how they are transmitted. Recently on a forum on a popular swinging site we use locally, there was a forum post about STD's. It was incredible how flippant the posters were about oral sex. What they don't realize is how easy it is to get HSV-2 even with condoms on when someone is shedding HSV-2 virus.

Even if we find out that the blood test is negative, the reality is we're not too excited about new partners at this point. The couple we're with now is like family anyway, and I personally have not been interested lately in exploring new love with others anyway. But I think this will really put a crimp on any "hookup" sex in the future. As one of our partners stated, "I will require full STD results before I'm touching anyone in the future".

One cool thing though, we've all had many discussions about this subject with one another. All of us knew the risks that we were taking getting into this lifestyle. It's not something we can now blame on others. I'm not sure if this happens often, but we've already discussed the possibility of contacting all former sexual partners if we find out if she's positive for HSV-2. I'm sure there will be some uncomfortable conversations, but the problem is that most symptomatic male carriers of HSV-2 do not even realize they are carrying the disease. And it's much easier to infect another female then male.

Bottom line my fellow swingers or those thinking about it. Any sexual contact, with or without condoms is risky!! If you engage in sex with others, you may eventually contract a STD. Hopefully you are lucky and you keep the risks to a minimum, but the danger is always there, especially any unprotected genital or ORAL SEX. Oral sex is the biggest issue in the swinging community. So many will engage in unprotected oral sex, we have in many cases as well.

We're crossing our fingers. Tomorrow we'll know for sure. We're hoping that everyone receives a clean bill of health, but we're also mentally and emotionally ready for bad news if we get it. Luckily we're in a committed relationship with our friends and lovers. We're also committed in our own marriage. The key to dealing with this type of thing is acquiring as much knowledge as you are able. We'd also be much more careful though if we could do it all over again. Even if we dodge the proverbial STD bullet, any sexual contact beyond our current partners will be carefully scrutinized.

Learning as we go.....

2011-04-29T18:35:00.000-07:00

If you have been following this blog you probably have noticed a seismic shift in our lifestyle activities. Yes, what we want out of the lifestyle has been going through a number of physical, emotional and intellectual changes in the past few months.

I'm not sure we planned on this happening to us but call it fate or pure luck what we did find has changed our lives in profound ways. Now when I reflect back on the beginning of this affair, I probably pushed it on the other three in our quad. And by pushing I don't mean aggressively telling everyone they need to be in this relationship. But I think I'm a initiator and I've been given confirmation by the other three that this would have never developed unless I had the courage to explore something that threatened every ones status quo.

Maybe it wasn't courage, maybe there was a little selfish reasons to want it. But now we have something that is beautiful and wonderful but also emotionally volatile. Anyone who thinks poly amorous relationships are not more complicated is fooling themselves. The pay off is unimaginable though, and as we progress in our relationships it has been an adventure of self discovery, love, bliss, and yes sometimes tears.

For those thinking of going down this path... warning... proceed only if you can really look inside yourself and see what really is inside! It's not for the weak of heart or for those whom cannot communicate. Would I suggest it to others? Yes! But again with the earlier warning.

The emotional part of this type of relationship is intense. From falling in love in the beginning, the conflict and emotion of dealing with perceived loyalties to your main partner, to dealing with jealousy. But it can be much deeper, especially if there is any unresolved drama in your own past. The drama or issues will and have to be dealt with in due time or they will come through at unsuspected times. And it's not just one person struggling or having an issue they are dealing with in their life. Patience is so important in this type of relationship, perhaps my biggest struggle. And there does need to be some type of commitment and acknowledgement of what is actually happening.

The only commitment we have with this other couple is that we all agree to not run away when the drama does occur, and to communicate with ALL members of our quad. We actually had a more difficult time then we thought with this in the beginning. Often we'd end up talking to the person we were with and not with all parties together. This would often end up in situations where someone heard something third person about how they were dealing with the whole situation. So we finally agreed to all plop down on one bed together and on occasion talk about any issue that we may be wanting to discuss. It's not been often but the times we have had this "talk" has been great for the relationship.

We've also had some great "group" play time as well. Early on in the relationship there were a few in our quad who felt that sometimes we paired off to quickly and often we'd separate into different rooms and not see our primary partners until the next morning. Sometimes this still happens, but I think we've all agreed that often our most memorable nights are the ones we spend together, at least the first few hours, then getting some alone time with our lovers.

As we've grown closer through this experience, we've opened up our home and family. Though we haven't discussed with our kids our sexual relationship (and won't unless confronted directly someday), our kids are familiar with our lovers. It's almost like a good friend/Aunt-Uncle relationship, and our lovers do not have any kids of their own, so in some ways I think they've enjoyed that feeling of family that my wife enjoy with our children.

Telling friends or extended family has been something we haven't really tackled as of yet. Our lovers are private and we respect their wishes that we keep this private. This blog is a real general over view of our relationship, but my wife and I have already had experiences with our parents finding out about our lifestyle activities. I imagine that eventually it may get out that we have special friends, and I'm sure we'll have to be ready to deal with the family firestorm of "concern". My feelings are that this will eventually work itself out, as I get more comfortable with this relationship my ability to communicate it to others (or not communicate) will become more natural.

The way we view the relationship has actually been one of the more challenging things in all of this. One constant is that we all have deep affection and love for one another. We also all realize that the relationship has certain boundaries and limits when it comes to the primary relationships. But we also realize that this is changing on a daily basis. Defining what it exactly is or is not is almost impossible and frankly I really don't care what anyone thinks it is. The important thing is that my wife and I love each other, that we care and love two other people that are now part of our life. It's that simple and that complicated and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

Will it last until we all die? I really don't know. But I stopped worrying about the future long ago. The future will take care of itself, all I can concentrate on is enjoying the present with those I love.

Two new features to the blog... Thanks Blogger.com

2011-04-06T08:15:00.000-07:00

I have added a email feature. I know my friends and wife find this convenient already. This way they do not have to constantly log into blogger to view this blog. They just get a email with the post which makes it much easier to keep up to speed. I promise I won't use any of these emails for spam or market to you in any manner.

I've also included a poll feature. It's something that will help me understand who my audience is currently and also give me an idea of what features of my blog you like the most, or what type of lifestyle information you'd like to hear about in future posts.

Thanks again for following my blog!

I know it's been a while but a quick update

2011-04-03T18:01:00.000-07:00

Things have been going well as of late. We have now been in a relationship with another couple since Janurary, though we didn't all really acknowledge it was that until a little later. I've been posting off and on about it and this is just a quick update.

Everyone has been doing fairly well. Sure we've had a few speed bumps but most relationships of any type encounter issues. The level of communication and willingness to allow this in each others lives has been impressive. I've read numerous posts, articles, and blogs about how this shouldn't work but in our cases it is at this point. I've also read a number of blogs and posts on the Internet that suggests that this can work if approached the right way with all involved.

Each of our relationships with one another have gone through various stages and at different speeds. The female half of the other couple and I hit it off fast and hard. I think it's the way we both operate though we both experienced fear of what this is all about and how things would turn out. I think the reason we've been able to gt through it is a combination of efforts to meet each other half way. After 16 and 18 years of marriage, each married couple has a pattern in which they relate to on another. This type of relationship turns that on its head, and it's literally a brand new relationship is created. New relationships are not always controlled by years of making one another wrong, or patterns we utilize in our communications with one another. Plus the individuality of each person in the relationship is important as well.

There have been a few jealousy/envy issues in the relationship. Most of these have been resolved through communication and allowing that individual the space to work it out. In most cases this has worked and I imagine it should continue to get better as well. In some ways trial and emotional issues make a relationship stronger, as long as individuals don't use the situation to make others feel wrong, or use it to make others feel guilty.

Currently the male half has been at our home yesterday and today. His wife/my girlfriend just left with on of her girl friends for a 8 day cruise. We wanted him to come over last night, which he did, and we've had a ball with him, playing board games with our kids, then watching Tosh.0 last night, all three of us on a bed together, which of course turned into what my wife quotes, "my best orgasm EVER!!". That seems like a pretty good deal for her, which she freely admits.

One thing that is kind of unique to our situation, we've been really clear that not everyone in this foursome is ready to completely end the swinging lifestyle. Though we're all now fluid bonded (meaning we've not had sex with anyone else but one another for over 3 months and we've been STD tested - so condoms are now optional). We still realize that some of us what to still hookup with new people and some of us would rather focus on what is already there. My wife and the male half want to continue to go to parties. They did both commit though to full protection and that includes oral. One activity we may do together is practice creating dental dams with a regular condom.

This truly has been worth it and I can honestly say that I've never been happier in my life then I am now. In some ways I've found this to be much more "moral" then swinging. I know for sure it's much more full filling then swinging. So it's difficult to describe our exact status but we're happy to make it up as we go, without labels or are we worried what others think. I know when I post one of these happy poly articles I will tend to get a "be careful", or "you are going to end up unhappy" posts. Sorry to disappoint some of you, but this has been an awesome experience!!

Toy review... WOW!

2011-04-03T17:41:00.000-07:00

Had to give this toy the respect it deserves. So I didn't minimize the picture this time in my post. This toy is called the Hustlers Mini Mistress Massage. I first encountered this awesome toy the last January on our trip with friends to Las Vegas. One of our friends purchased the product and I was able to experiment briefly with her. But then since I've been reminded about what a great toy it is and my wife has wanted one ever since. The last few days we've tested this wonderful toy out and it has not been a disappointment.

It's actually fairly small compared to the Hitachi Magic Wand, and fit's easily in ones hand. Personally I enjoyed not having to figure out unique positions in which to employ this massage. It could actually compliment everything we do, from anal, clit stimulation with G-spot manual massage (multiple my friends!), and then my wife enjoys shoving that baby between us as she rides my cock (yes multiple orgasms!!)

You want the wife or girlfriend-Lover to really have a big goofy smile, then buy one of these massages. In some ways my wife thinks I may enjoy it a little more then she does. One thing you don't have to worry about is your lady not being able to orgasm with you. Plus if you are creative she will be using it anyway in conjunction of your own efforts!!.

This product is priced inexpensively compared to those triple head rotating rabbit monstrosities, and I think you'll find it well worth the money. The only negative was the short extension. So you may want to go to the local hardware store and buy a indoor extension cord. We bought a 6 foot one and I think we should have gone 8 to 12, you never know where and how you'll use this toy.

The Hall Pass.. the movie... 3 1/2 stars!

2011-02-28T06:41:00.000-08:00

Mrs ABC and I decided we needed a fun comedy to go watch last night, so we stopped at our local theater and watched Hall Pass. A Ferrell brothers comedy, the same guys who produced "Something about Mary" one of my favorite all time classics. This movie had a particular interest to both Mrs ABC and I, do to the content, and how familiar we are with the word "Hall Pass" with its use in the lifestyle.

Honestly, though their was a few stupid "bathroom" jokes or stunts, the movie was actually funny as shit! (pardon the pun). Owen Wilson was of course up to his normal antics, but I must admit that Jason Sudeikis stole the show at times. There was one particular scene early on in the movie that had my wife and I rolling in the aisle, along with most of the Sunday evening audience at our theater. Sudeikis was paired up with Christina Applegate, and Owen was paired up with the Offices Jenna Fischer.

The producers of the show didn't approach the "Hall Pass" concept from a swingers or lifestyle point of view. They almost made it seem like a "fix-it" approach to marriage. That made me scratch my head a little because I've never heard it used when I was not a swinger, but we do live in "Molly Mormon" Utah. What would be interesting to see is if Swinging terminology has finally begun creeping into mainstream America. With over 4 to 5 million swingers at any one time in the United States the fact that more "swinging" terms are not used is actually the surprising thing.

There were other "ground breaking" moments in this movie. One that had Mrs ABC smiling was a scene was where male genitalia was proudly displayed. I like how the Ferrell brothers are unafraid of pushing the limit in their movies. They are also not afraid of pushing movie gags to the very boundary of what is watchable cinema as well. The scene in "what about Mary" where Carmen Diaz is using male semen as hair style gel is one such moment where you think "Did they just put that in this movie!!...Holy Shit!"

The only disappointing side of the movie is the ending. I figured they'd eventually cave into the moralistic majority of those movie patrons that would attend this movie. They of course had the main characters praising the benefits of monogamy at the end. But that does not surprise me nor should it those whom live the real lifestyle.

If you have participated in the lifestyle or swinging or you've had any interest, this show is a great one to take the wife or girlfriend to go watch. You both will be laughing and like us perhaps turn to each other and chuckle, "Amateur's".

Interesting lunch date

2011-02-28T00:10:00.000-08:00

It's late on a Sunday evening, thought I should have gone to bed an hour ago but cannot sleep. Discussing a lunch date with another couple in the lifestyle the day before, several interesting observations were made, which I found relevant and perhaps helpful for others in the lifestyle.

One complaint I see on a local swing site is that often people spend little time reading profiles. Generally this profiles are written in an attempt to convey the guidelines, rules or preferences of that couple. Those reading or pursuing these couples should read the profile before contacting that couple. Often they either don't read the profile, or for some reason choose to ignore what is written. Maybe it's human nature to hear or read what you want to hear or read.

So we were contacted by a couple in the past few months. For some reason we couldn't get together the first time we discussed lunch and drinks. Again the male from this couple contacted us and we agreed to meet them for lunch and drinks this last Saturday. They were a nice couple, talkative, personable, though he was more the life of the party then her. We had a great conversation about swinging, the lifestyle and raising kids.

He talked about their preferences, one of them being that his wife is pretty bi-sexual. He then asked us about our preferences, and my wife states she's not very bi-sexual. Only in certain cases will she play with a woman, but only if the that woman is also playing with me (male). Mrs ABC is pretty open and direct about this but often people hear what they want to hear.

I also told this couple that one thing that really burns us is when they feign interest in the male half (or me), but really want the female (Mrs ABC). Granted people like what they want, but they either lie to themselves or deliberately ignore what we say about Mrs ABC preferences.

The lunch again went well, and it seemed everyone was pretty clear about likes, dislikes. They even were talking about future dates. After they left there were several text messages from the male and female. She flirted with me on a few texts, but only two or three texts between us. He sent my wife a number of texts, very respectful of course. But one was really telling. Basically it was about how much he and his wife wanted to hookup with Mrs ABC. Looking at the texts I received and the ones she received it was pretty apparent that the other female was more interested in Mrs ABC then myself.

Again, we told them fairly clearly. We don't play bi-sexual games. We're just not into that type of play. If Mrs ABC isn't getting off on the play with another female then why would she claim she's bi-curious or bi-sexual. The other thing she has a problem with is that I'd be only watching, not something she's interested in at all. The final issue is that she was not into the other guy at all sexually.

Honestly, I've been in enough of these situations in the past four years. Mrs ABC feels the same way and that is the following. Usually you can tell within one meeting if things are going to click sexually. Though we like this couple and think they'd be fun to hang out with in terms of camping, bowling, or dinner. They just won't connect with us sexually for a number of reasons.

The biggest turn off though sexually was the lack of listening on this couples end. Unfortunately they make the classic mistake many do in a similar situation. Just because you click socially does not make it a possible sexual opportunity. Especially when you don't process what the other couples wants or will be willing to do in a sexual encounter. So if there is a lesson to be learned, LISTEN, READ and don't assume it's any different then what you see. If the couples tells you they are not bi-sexual, then that means no girl on girl play. If that same couple suggests that feigning sexual interesting in the "male- me" is not the way to get with Mrs ABC, then listen!

Again, nothing wrong with this couple. They did travel a long distance to meet us. They were personable, friendly, and paid for lunch (even after I insisted to cover it). I just think sometimes people get a little caught up in what THEY want, and fail to listen to what others want. This is not just a swinger issue this is a WORD issue.

Quick update and other musings.

2011-02-21T15:47:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been over a month and a half since we spent a eventful weekend in Vegas with our new lovers. I think we've all come to that realization at this point. I know we've all tried to label it, define it, but then come to the same conclusion, why fuck with it! The only point to it all is that it makes each one of us happy in our own way, and life is to short to miss out on happiness. So I say, dip in the pail and take out of it as much as you can, because there will be plenty of dry spells.

We've had more ups then downs in the past month. I've been kind of flying blind in many ways. Sure I read the Ethical Slut (now twice) and it helped, but you really don't UNDERSTAND until you've been through it. I think there have been a few important breath through's in my marriage to ABC woman as a result of this experience. A few weeks ago I found out that she really wasn't that happy about me loving another woman, but then realized it was more then jealousy, a lot of it came from patterns we had developed in our marriage. She felt a little left out or behind in my new relationship. She also realized that there were a number of things she also needed to change or do better at as well. We cried that whole weekend, and it caused a few issues with our lovers as well. Culminating in a awesome and emotional get together of all four of us. It was a hard night, but I think a seminal one in terms of the relationships.

Since then, Mrs ABC has developed a "Love" as well for my girl friends husband, and things are going well. We're a little sad that they are gone for the next two weeks, but they've had a vacation planned for some time, and tropical sun and fun are not something you skip out on. We are planning a trip to a similar location with them next year, but there are some financial hurdles that Mr ABC (me) is dealing with right now.

We also decided as a couple to not step out of the social scene in the lifestyle. Though we're kind of mixed on the whole playing side of the equation. I'm personally never been that excited about "Swinger" sex in most cases. Sure, I can get down with my bad self at a party, but playing to just play with out any type of connection is pretty tame now to me. Honestly, I'd rather watch Mrs ABC playing at a party then play myself. Personally I like my play to be intimate, private, and connecting. Not something I see often in Swinger Party events. Which is great for most people, just not me.

As for Mrs ABC, she definitely is slowing it down, though there are still a couple guys she'd love to play with again when the opportunity is right. There are some other issues that I've been obsessing with a little bit lately, and one of them is how we've basically dodged any misfortune in terms of STD's. This "luck" as I call it can run out at any time, and it only takes one time to fuck up your life. I've had some serious talks with her about it, yes, we use condoms. The problem is it's not just the condoms that concern me. For some reason in Salt Lake no one thinks they'll get a STD from oral play. Sure your chances are much less if you still use condoms for penetration. However, the risk of an orally transmitted STD is still a factor, and I don't care how much you want to rationalize the chances. I think the splish splash bath experience freaked me out in so many ways.

Now that we won't see our lovers for the next two weeks, Mrs ABC and I are looking forward to this next weekend and making it all about us. Sure we may visit with some friends from the lifestyle, but it's going to be nice spending most of our time with each other. Mrs ABC is a fantastic lover, friend, and help mate. She really does work hard helping others to the point she neglects herself, and I think a little R&R and connecting time will be good for one another. We of course will miss our lovers but I hope they experience the same connection with one another on their trip as well.

Listened to some interesting podcasts on the way home today from a business appointment. There is more information out there about "poly" lifestyles then I ever thought. It's not the polygamist and freak show that most people would think at first glance. It's been nice to hear other couples stories that have gone through a similar situation as our own. I've noticed in our own "lifestyle" community that there have been a number of breakups and divorces as of late. I'm not sure nor do I really care what the reasons are in each case. Dealing with our own shit, my wife and I realize "partnerships" are not for the weak of heart. They take blood, sweat, and tears to make them work. The payoff is fantastic of course, and that is why I'm also now into this new relationship with my girlfriend as well. The payoff has been fantastic even if the ride not always been perfect sailing. I'm sure we'll have challenges and issues to contend with in the future as well, but that's not any different then any other relationship in this world. It's just not being afraid of communication with one another and figuring out how to listen and learn.

Confession of a reformed chauvinist

2011-01-30T21:47:00.000-08:00

This isn't easy for me, but I will admit it tonight with a changed heart. Yes, it's ugly and I have denied this in a recent conversation with my girlfriend. The truth will set you free, and the reality is ... drum roll.... Yes, I have been a chauvinist. Gasp, shock, I realize my friends and wife who read this and know me personally will just smile and nod their heads.

Lately I've prided myself on my new principals and ideals. I thought I had come a long way, but had I really? I've radically changed my belief in God, religion, sex, and pretty much a number of other issues in my life. But have I really changed in the way I look at women? It doesn't make me happy to admit this, but in the primary relationship of my life I had to admit today that I was a dirty rotten chauvinist.

Yes, I'm the big man, I need to protect her, shelter her, make sure she is not burdened by my burdens. Blah..blah..blah.... During a intense and personal discussion about many issues in our life, this reality finally hit me tonight. What I realized today was how strong, how capable, how amazing she has been all along. I also realized I can't fix her, I can't shelter her, and I can't protect her. She doesn't want any of this, she wants me to simply treat her like I expect to be treated, love her how I want to be loved, and more importantly, respect her how I liked to be respected.

I do offer this to those whom know me. Every time the chauvinist in me raises its ugly head, please feel free to slap me upside the head. In all seriousness, I truly do want to change. I think it will be evident in my speech and the way I treat important people in my life.

The important thing is to simply make the decision to change. Something I did gladly for my wife tonight. I'm sure there will be another happy person who finds this out tonight as well. Yes, you were right! And yes, I'm learning once again.

It's all Greek to me!

2011-01-30T20:56:00.000-08:00

I came across this in our local swinging forum, and after reading more about the concept I've adopted it into my own situation currently. Recently my wife and I have entered a relationship with another couple. I think that's the best way to describe it at this point. As for what it is actually in terms of a label, I really have no idea. We've all expressed how much we care about one another, even to the point we're we admit openly it's a "Love" of some type.

I've had several discussions with both my wife and girl friend regarding the word Love and how it applies to our situation, and frankly until I read this forum post, I really couldn't describe it any better then what I read today. That being the Greek words that describe Love in its many forms. Therefore I'm going to just list all four and apply them to our situation, and perhaps they may help any readers who happen to find themselves in a similar situation.

Ancient Greek had four distinct words for the word Love; agape, eros, philia, and storge.

Agape, means "Love" in modern Greek, but means "I love you" in Ancient Greek. It's more known as a brotherly love, it is usually used to describe the love between a spouse and or children. Some may call this true love, or a deep love for another. I've referred to this as a deep and foundational love with my wife. Personally I think this is the type of love that is built over years of sacrifice and being together.

Eros, is a passionate love, with a sensual desire and longing. If I was to describe the current situation that the four of us have at the moment, I think this word may describe it the best. Eros is often denoted as a step above philia, but just a step down from Agape. Eros is what we sometimes call infatuation phase, but I think the Greeks used the word to mean a bit more then simply puppy love. Eros should be present in romantic relationships no matter what stage you've entered.

Philia, means friendship in modern Greek, its the natural affection parents feel for offspring. It can lead to affection towards friends, family and community. In Ancient Greek it was used mostly to describe the enjoyment of activity between friends, family or lovers. I think this today is often what we refer to between best friends forever, or what we see often in more casual swinging relationships between like couples.

Storge, is used rarely other then in family situations. Often can be used in describing what is a negative relationship. Such as, "I have to put up with this tyrant, but I love him anyway". Perhaps this is a great way to describe the feeling between ex-partners whom are still on good terms.

I also think that Agape, Eros, and Philia can be present in one or more relationships. I've definitely felt all three with my wife, though Agape maybe where we reside most of the time. Of course Eros is important, and hopefully in most partnership situations, Philia, is another we enjoy together. You can see that in the new relationship we've developed as well. Eros is present in a big way , but I can see all four of us enjoying a Philia love, and over time I can see the possibility of Agape love developing. The mutual respect and esteem for one another naturally increases as the relationship grows.

So if the Greek words through you off, then hopefully you take the theory of why they broke down Love into it's many meanings. Perhaps your own definitions will represent the Greek theory of love, or perhaps you think the Greeks were nuts. I'm impressed though with our Ancient ancestors and their understanding of the mysterious word... Love.

Change in direction....

2011-01-20T14:39:00.000-08:00

I've decided to change the direction of this blog. Reviewing a number of my previous posts, it seemed that a number of these would be better suited for the Penthouse Forums, rather than an informative blog about swinging. I understand that a number of readers may find these exposes entertaining, however, after some thoughtful consideration I've decided that what happens intimately between the sheets is both a private and personal, regardless of the anonymity that I can imply within the post.

The problem is that I've become a little desensitized after four years of looking at private parts, going to sex parties, and perhaps being a little too free and open regarding our own experiences with other couples. I've also come to a realization that "swinging" for me is somewhat shallow and hollow at times. Sure, I don't mind an occasional hookup, but the casualness sometimes has turned me off. On the other hand, my wife is a little more open to the hookup, and therefore I've adopted a new philosophy.

Human beings do not own one another. In other words, when I took my vow of marriage, I pledged to be hers and she pledged to be mine. Religious in nature, like most vows, this innocent sounding pledge may be the reason so many couples split up. What starts as a beautiful relationship often ends up in lines drawn in the sand, with attorneys deciding how much sand each partner gets after they break up. What begins in beauty ends in ugliness and heartache.

I've realized through this new relationship, and through my own thoughts and consideration, that we don't own anything, really, in this world. It's all transitory, and it will never be permanent. The money we earn and the possessions we own will be appropriated by others when we die. When we die the relationships we have will move on and change. It's the reality of our existence and no force can stop nature from taking its course. Thinking we have actual control of a relationship or another human being is really a myth.

Strange at this sounds, if you have a partner at this point in your life, they are there because they want to be, not because you have some type of control or ability to control them. If they stick around, it's because they simply choose to do so. If you think otherwise, prepare to deal with drama and heartache. No human being likes to be controlled by another, and the sooner you both realize it, the sooner you feel the freedom of truly being with someone you love.

There are some individuals that are successful at controlling environments or physical aspects of their universe. The more we try to exert this control on another individual, or perhaps think we are controlling a given relationship, the more likely we are to see chaos. I was raised in an atmosphere of control and domination. My core beliefs revolved around a religious organization that is set up for that primary purpose. I've made great strides, but in the deep corners of my mind I can feel that desire to mold and control. It's going to be a challenge to overcome, but I've surrounded myself with some pretty amazing people. This may surprise some of you control freaks, but the reality is the people who are able to being just "in the moment" tend to be more peaceful and, in general, seem to be happier people. It's easy to suggest that one simply adopts this philosophy, but it's harder in practice than you may think.

I'm sure this is sounding ridiculously Zen, but the principal is almost like a physical law, and you can't really screw with Physics! My challenge now is to allow those in my life to be just what they want to be. I know its going to be a difficult road for me.

Note: To my readers and guest contributors. I'm in no way suggesting that the sexual details are not interesting if not fun to read. I've enjoyed writing about them in the past. It's just a personal decision I've made, and because my style tends to require emotional connection the details are less important then the feelings and emotions that shape these different events in my life.

Living life in the moment......cliche or reality?

2011-01-20T14:38:00.000-08:00

Hundreds of books have been written about Swinging. Shit, this is another blog about it. No, I'm not some self proclaimed expert, but I can say for a fact that I'm currently living life in the moment, and every day is another amazing experience. What was the catalyst that got me off my ass and into the game? It was meeting a couple recently that I've talked about a little in these posts. Sometimes in life you meet certain people at particular times. I'm not suggesting this is some cosmic event, nor was it some spiritual juxtaposition of four peoples lives. Oddly, the right personalities meshed at the opportune time, and for me it has been an awakening.

To be honest, readers, I have been going nowhere the last few years. I've lived my life in a self designed shell. Almost like the famous John Travolta movie, "The Boy in the Bubble." I've had a few major breakthroughs in my life, like when I asked my wife to marry me despite a number of obstacles that stood in our way, or the moments when I held my newborn daughter and sons. These special moments imprinted in my brain made me feel and appreciate that I was alive. Unfortunately, I then returned to the mental box that I've created for my life. It's safe there. I'm never to blame; if good things, happen it's because I deserve it, if bad things happen, it's really not my fault. My decision to change began almost two weeks ago in Las Vegas. It wasn't some burning figure with angels zipping around his head. It wasn't some revelation I received after ingesting too much peyote. No, it came from the conversation and special moment I had with a friend.

My decision to fucking take on the world was not created or forced by anyone, but I will admit that a certain special someone sparked a small flame that I've fanned into a fire. After a blissful weekend with our new friends, I realized a number of important things in my life, one thing being that there is no predetermined future. The future depends on what you do in the present. It's funny, most people don't change due to some intervention with love ones. Change often comes from interaction and realizing that the status quo is not acceptable.

In other words, you want to be rich and successful in the future? You need to focus on being rich and successful NOW! I'm not speaking of results, I'm stating you need to be a success in your mind! Think about it for a second, how many times have we thought about what we'll do in the future, and we end up someplace completely different? It's not fate. It's not some mysterious force from heaven or nasty devil that mucks it up for us. It's because we are so focused on WHAT happened in our life, and WHERE we should be, that we don't look at the HERE or the now. What keeps us from ACTION is what keeps us from that future we desire, or those goals we wish to accomplish.

Oh, one last thing my friends. When you do REALLY decide to Live it all out, Holy shit!! I mean Holy SHIT!! It's one of the most exciting and ALIVE moments you will ever have in your life. I will be honest though, with the incredible highs there can be some amazing lows. Don't get off the ride if you feel yourself getting too low. Hopefully you will have some incredible people in your life as well if this moment happens to you.

Dear Mrs ABC

2011-01-04T20:43:00.000-08:00

In his one of his recent posts, Mr. ABC asked for suggestions to improve his blog and one of the suggestions was to open it up to a Question and Answer format. To me, Mrs. ABC, this is a great idea. I’m not great at coming up with ideas on my own, but I’m more than happy to answer questions. So here’s the first question I get to respond to:

Anonymous said...

Thank you Mr and Mrs ABC (DEFGH, 5 kids, you two are my heros!)

My husband and I are going to delve into the swinging lifestyle, currently I have many hangups, a big one is I can't cum with intercourse only. He wants to full swap, I'm down with that until I overthink another woman having screaming orgasms the "normal" way with him. How do I get over this?? He slightly worries another guy will get me off the "regular" way, but I've never had an intercourse only orgasm with anyone I've been with, so he really has nothing to worry about. With manual stim I'm a multiple machine though :))I just need to get in the frame of mind that when he gets a chick off by fucking her he's a stud, and I'm happy for him!! Lucky I'm married to him and that he fucked me pregnant back in the day! Easier said than done...but I really want to share. Also, how do you find the Meet and Greets? from local swingers websites? Pretty soon you are going to start charging for advice. I really appreciate you sharing all of your insights on your blog.

Dear Anonymous,

This is an interesting question. I can only share with you the insights I’ve gained from talking with other women and my own experiences. I hope you will find it helpful.

One thing you should try to remember is that every person is built differently. We each experience sensations and touch in different ways. For you, intercourse doesn’t seem to stimulate you enough to bring you to orgasm, whereas, manual stimulation does. For me, I can orgasm through intercourse with my husband but no other men. Some women have never experienced an orgasm. Others are having multiple orgasms just by a simple touch. Every woman has her own way of experiencing sex and different men each provide a different feel for her. You may respond completely different to another man than you would with your own husband.

Another thing to think about is that when anyone hooks up with someone they have just met, it’s difficult to know exactly what that person enjoys. Let alone how to stimulate someone to orgasm. If your husband is getting women to scream during an orgasm on the first try, then he is either a sex God or he is with a woman who knows what she likes and is showing him exactly how to achieve it. So when you hear her screaming because of something your husband is doing to her, think of the amazing technique he just learned and will soon share with you!

The lifestyle can be a great teacher. As you explore and try new things with new people, you and your husband will learn new techniques. If another man is able to get you to have an orgasm with intercourse, take notes and pass that information to your husband. If your husband gets another woman to orgasm the “normal” way, tell him to try those things on you. Approach it as a learning experience and be willing to try new things and learn.

Most importantly, communicate with each other. The couples that succeed in the Lifestyle are those who have nothing to hide and communicate openly with each other. Share your feelings of jealousy with each other. Reassure each other that your spouse is still number one. Be sure to reconnect after playing with other people. Mr. ABC and I have “reclamation” sex where we discuss our experiences and reclaim each other through our intimacy with each other.

As for finding Meet and Greets, we usually find them through local swinger sites. Once you get to know people it’s spread by word of mouth as well. Some places even have on site sex clubs where you can meet new people.

I hope this is helpful to you. Go out, have fun and be safe.

Mrs. ABC

What to expect in 2011....

2011-01-01T12:46:00.000-08:00

No one can predict a year in advance. Furthermore, I don't want to create a list of expectations. Therefore I'm going to try and suggest a number of idea's or concepts that could use some exploration. Finally, I'd like to suggest some idea's for 2011 in terms of this blog and where I'd like to see it go from here.

As for Mr and Mrs ABC, 2011 seems exciting but also will involve some major changes for us financially and personally. We may be moving to a new home (our family) the first few months of the year. I personally am defining what my future will be in terms of employment or work. We also are not getting younger, so physical heath is becoming a bigger focus in our lives. Our children are rapidly turning into teenagers, and this is requiring more of our emotional time as well.

It seemed in the previous years, especially after actively swinging, that we had to be at all the parties and clubs each weekend. I think we stretched ourselves thin many weeks, and it took a toll on our family life. In regards to the party aspect of the lifestyle, it can take a toll on the body and spirit. It can be fun in certain situations, but the constant pressure of "not missing anything" can wear one out. We won't stop going to parties all together, but we're going to be more selective of when and where we go.

As for whom we swing with in 2011. I still think we both like the opportunity of meeting new couples, but exploring and building our relationship with current friends is important as well. Recently we've met a couple that we've really bonded with and developing and building this relationship is a priority. Realizing you care about another couple is a little unnerving, especially after hearing in the lifestyle how you should show no emotion. I've read "The Ethical Slut" twice now, and some of the idea's regarding "many loves" is intriguing. Where this new relationship in our life goes is nobodies guess at this point. My hope is that with or without 'benefits', that this relationship with our new friends last the rest of our lives.

I guess my own definition of success in this life is now becoming more oriented to what brings real happiness and contentment. For me, that's when I'm with those I truly love and care about. Perhaps it's because I'm a social being, but having those whom I value around me is more important then anything else. I've completed some deep reflection of what a true friend is and what value they bring to my life. Though I still love my extended family, siblings and parents, I find as I grow older, that I spend far more time with my own wife, children and friends. These friends can really define you as a person, and the quality and richness of these relationships can be so rewarding in ones life.

As for the blog, I'm looking forward to expanding it to include other writers viewpoints as well. I've enjoyed the contributions of Luscious and my wife in previous posts, and I'm thinking of encouraging more of my friends to contribute when so moved as well. So expect to see more of Mrs ABC and Luscious. I also hope to encourage others to share as well.

I'm not sure where the readers would like this blog to go. I would really appreciate your comments and suggestions. Personally I want to discuss the emotional and intellectual challenges and rewards of the lifestyle. But I also realize that "details" are fun to read about as well. One challenge though I face is that some of our friends are intensely private, and a blow by blow detailed account of our sexual play can be uncomfortable to read about not to mention wondering who may be reading it. Therefore I have been working hard to not violate their trust in my retelling of our adventures. I've also realized that there are some special moments that I need to keep to myself. How can a moment be really a "special" moment if its broadcast to the world.

I'm also flirting with some other idea's as well. Perhaps we'll try and audio podcast update sometime in the future. This one maybe a challenge due to equipment and convincing my dear wife to attempt it, but perhaps we'll surprise you. I'm also experimenting with a daily journal addition to this site. But it would be password protected and I probably won't let just anyone read my daily musings.

As I stated, anyone with idea's or advice, please post your thoughts in the comment section. And I'd like wish all of you a safe and rewarding 2011!!!

Reflections: 2010, year in review.

2011-01-01T12:00:00.000-08:00

Well here is to the new year! 2010 was a great one for the ABC's. I think we learned more about what we want and more about where we might be heading with this adventure. I think Mrs ABC and I's relationship developed into a richer and vibrant one and we've learned to open our hearts to others. So this post is going to be more about my reflections of 2010, and then a little sneak peak of 2011 is in order in my next posting.

I'm going to keep this to the lifestyle, even though the very nature of this experience is intensely private and personal, there are certain things in my life that do not pertain to the lifestyle and those I will keep to myself.

As for the lifestyle, I've put together a short list of experiences and lessons learned.

Lessons learned.

1) Jealousy can be overcome, but must be dealt with immediately.

2) Couples are not always on the same page in terms of what they want from the lifestyle.. and its okay!

3) Becoming picky doesn't mean we are snobs.

4) Communication with others is as important as with your spouse or primary partner.

5) Expect nothing and enjoy richly!

6) Personality trumps all

I'm not going to get into a long drawn out explanation of every lesson, but each of these lessons contributed to our happiness and enjoyment of the lifestyle. Personally realizing that I had a lot to offer others and not just in a sexual way was a turning point in my enjoyment of the lifestyle.

Highlights of 2010

1) Meeting "shallow" couple.

2) Las Vegas trips (Mrs ABC's lover)

3) T's our Golfing friends

4) Parties we attended...fun!!

5) Sushi couple - fun as hell couple!

We had many great experiences in 2010, one thing we both learned it isn't the sex only that is the reason we're in the lifestyle, it's also about the people we meet. We've learned to care about the couples we meet, and sometimes that can be frustrating, but in some cases it can be a beautiful and rewarding experience. The casualness of the lifestyle can be good and bad for some couples. We know that digging deeper can be risky in terms of emotional and communication commitment between all parties involved, but the reward is incredible.

Low lights of 2010

1) Parents finding about our "alternative" lifestyle

2) Casual sex is not always full filling.

3) Anxiety issues can be difficult to deal with as a man.

4) Single Males ( not a good year, only a few exceptions that being Mrs ABC's Vegas single man)

Yes, the parents finding out about our lifestyle is not easy, and dealing with sexual performance anxiety, casual sex issues of the lifestyle were all related and taught me a lesson personally. One thing my wife admitted, is that as her self confidence in her sexuality increased, her desire for single male hookups waned. She really is a much more confident and independent woman as a result.

2010 was a great year for personal growth. Not fantastic for us financially and in some other areas, but I think in terms of personal growth it was a banner year.

No shirt. No shoes. No service.

2010-12-28T11:19:00.000-08:00

We all say it is about a connection. What is that exactly? Are they so smoking hot that you feel your sensitive parts shutter, or are they so engaging that you can only imagine a marathon night full of great sex and even better conversation? How exactly do you come to either of those conclusions?

I think it is actually easier to say what you won’t do rather that what you will do because you have no idea who you will meet and how they will strike your fancy. We have read so many profiles and forum posts and it seems that everyone has their idea of what they do not like but I thought I would take it a step further than to discuss their recreational habits.

What do you consider a connection? We of course have our “fuckable” scale and then for me, the deal breaker is if you lack the personality or intelligence to carry on a conversation, and just stare at me, then sorry, we will walk away. I understand that there are those shy guys out in the lifesphere, and on the same note there are obnoxious people as well, but it is my choice to decide if there is a connection, right?

So what do you do if you discover that there is not a connection, is it ok to say no? You can be selective and you should never be shunned for doing so. There are people that you will connect with virtually that face to face just will not generate enough interest. You will not feel that spark with them no matter what you do, and it is just not about commonalities. There are definite personality styles that are a huge “hell no” for us. This includes any abusive, disrespectful, racist, bigoted, ignorant or sexist, etc…these are a huge turn-off. You better check the skeletons in your closet too before you bring me to your bed, if you don’t value your spouse unconditionally and you are not 100% honest with them, you will lose in this game, I guarantee you.

And when you do “connect wine and dine, and then you decide there will not be a round two. We have all fallen victim to this and we just need to chalk it up to a “one night stand.” We all have those moments when the whisky takes over and no matter what you do you just can’t get it up, but it is what you do after that moment that counts. If you are just too defeated and you leave a girl hanging, you need to up your game. We understand there are going to be these issues, but knowing that, we women have an expectation; you have a tongue, fingers and toys that you can take full advantage of. If you walk away with your “heads” hung low, then your performance and satisfaction are your only priority and most of you are not ignorant, you all realize what happens when you leave your “Mrs.” hanging, you are going to be out in the proverbial dog house.

We have been criticized often of being too picky, too communicative, too forward, and I can assure you right now, none of that will ever change. We are exactly who we say we are on our profile and in person, we do believe we will blow your minds.

I do think this pickiness has prevented us from really getting deep down and dirty as much as we would like and though we would love to change this, how can you do that without lowering your standards? And I do believe that is the case. Each of us has taken one for the team at one point, and we have both decided that will never happen again.

We are happily married, we love to be naughty, we love to party, we love to fuck each other and we love to fuck sexy, confident, intelligent, honest and in love couples. We can also respect that you may not “want” us, but we will never settle for anything less than a couple we WANT, why would we?

Not so Merry Xmas for a good friend

2010-12-27T09:00:00.000-08:00

December 26th dawned and I was feeling pretty satisfied. Another nice Christmas in the books, kids are happy, wife is happy, and I'm not broke (hey bonus!). So I log into Facebook, and then I'm floored by an update by one of my lifestyle friends. Starts out, "Has anyone seen my wife on Christmas Eve or Christmas?", this was shocking of course, and then I wanted to read more. He went on for a while about his wife not showing up at home after work. I guess Christmas Eve she decided to join her lover instead of her husband, and didn't bother to tell him where she was located. Fortunately her husband did know who she was seeing and that she was okay actually, but the fact that she had not bothered to even call took all their friends by surprise. The shit storm on Facebook over the issue was almost instant, with many "hate" emails hurled to the offending parties Facebook account. Sadly, he should have not posted that update on Facebook, she however wins an award for one of the more heartless breakup maneuvers that I've witnessed in sometime.

Worried about his situation, I did contact him later in the evening. He admitted that this affair was something that she had been involved in for some time. But she told him that she had fallen out of love with him two years before, and this affair had not begun until the summer of this year. Of course all their friends want to blame swinging and the "Hall Passes" that they had given each other. But after you break it down, there is much more to it then a Hall Pass issue. She had been making some major changes in her life over the past year, stopped smoking, lost weight, trained for long distance bicycling, and I think picked up some college classes. He however has not been as motivated in terms of weight or smoking. I also know that he has a decent job, but its not one that will break the bank, but neither does she. So perhaps she felt trapped, that any situation was better then the current one. He also knew about the guy she was seeing, approved of the hookup in the beginning, but realized she had taken it to far. Asked her to stop, but she continued to see him. Then promised to stop seeing him after being caught, and then finally the culmination on Christmas Eve. In some ways I'm wondering how you could still completely trust someone if they had repeatedly violated trust over the proceeding six months.

I'm not telling you this sad story to point out that my friends wife is a heartless bitch (though it seems like it). I'm also not suggesting that Swinging is the primary reason they are splitting up. The sad truth is their relationship had been on the skids for sometime. I don't know how much they communicated, I know he trusted her completely. But even if you trust someone you still need to have a way to check the temperature, kick the tires, conduct a 57 point inspection to make sure the engine is running smoothly. You also have to acknowledge the truth at times, even if it seems unbearable or to big a hurdle. Seeing all the signs he knew about, could he have headed this off at the pass? Or would it just have ended much earlier?

Swinging and hall passes did not end his marriage. The lack of communication and trust is what doomed his marriage. The inability to dig deep and talk about the major issues may really have been the deal breaker. Would it have mattered if she had brought up her feelings of being trapped in a life that she hated? Would he have reacted well to that revelation? Would her confession that he did not turn her on anymore been the motivation he needed to get to the gym more, to stop smoking, to change things that she felt were burdens? Perhaps these conversations and more would have at least ended this speculation that the grass is greener somewhere else.

Finally, is the grass really greener with a new partner? Does a marriage stagnate to the point where you simply do not love one another? Is there situations where swinging destroys even what is looked at as a perfect partnership? Who is to say for sure. These breakups are always so complicated with so many known and unknown issues. Most of these are never aired to the general public and often a particular behavior is underlined as the main reason for their divorce. I'm finding the best thing is to offer your condolences and offer to be there for a friend in these times. Second, take a moment to reflect on your own partnership if you have one. Make sure and kick those proverbial tires, ask the tough questions, and hopefully you'll head off any real trouble. My wife and I have been able to ask these difficult questions for 16 years, here is to hoping we never take that for granted.

Mrs ABC wants to say a word!

2010-12-23T10:31:00.000-08:00

Adjusting to the Lifestyle by Mrs. ABC

Mr. ABC has been hoping, for some time now, that I would post on his blog with my own perspective of the Lifestyle. However, I’m not the best writer so please forgive me my imperfections with presenting what is on my mind.

When I was a young girl, my hair wasn’t what I would call auburn. It was more on the side of flaming orange. I was skinny, pale-skinned, dark circles around my eyes, freckle faced and to top it off I had the hair-do of Annie. You can imagine what kind of teasing that brought on. To add to it, my older brother would constantly call me ugly. Throughout my whole life I never believed I was beautiful, even when my family & husband would tell me I was. The reason I tell you this is so you can see the perspective I had of myself was when I first got into the Lifestyle and how that perspective eventually changed.

The Lifestyle can be very intimidating as well as very liberating. At first, I was very unsure of myself, feeling like a frumpy housewife who didn’t know how to socialize. As time went on and we attended more parties / meet & greets, I gradually learned how to socialize (thanks to Mr. ABC). I also changed my style and appearance to give me more confidence. I made an effort to become a “social butterfly”, constantly learning and trying new things to build my confidence. All these things were good, but the biggest help for making me feel comfortable with myself was the constant compliments I received from people in the Lifestyle. With this continual bombardment of compliments, I started to believe that I am a beautiful person, both inside and out. With this new realization came a kind of liberation for me.

I discovered I am a very sexual being and it was ok to be that way. Having been raised in a strict religious home, I was always a little prudish about sex. Don’t get me wrong. The thoughts and desires were all there, but I had always thought it was inappropriate for a woman to be the aggressor and express those thoughts and feelings. The idea of women having the “control” in the Lifestyle was somewhat intimidating for me. However, after being around people who are open with their sexuality and more importantly open with my sexuality, I have opened up to the idea of taking a little more control. I would not have been able to open up this way if it hadn’t been for the people around me sharing their sexy opinions of me.

So, in essence, I owe my long but fairly easy adjustment to the Lifestyle to the sexy people around me. I also have to acknowledge that I took some responsibility upon myself as well. Making the effort to become more visually appealing as well as socially adaptable played a big part in my adjustment. Without the willingness to learn new things and change certain perspectives and attitudes, my adjustment would have taken much longer and been more difficult.

This being my first blog entry, I didn’t want it to be too long and drawn out. I hope to share more insights with future entries. Here’s to hot & sexy times.
Mrs. ABC

Thank you red region inferno! Sexiest Blogs 2010

2010-12-19T17:39:00.000-08:00

Big shout out to a new blog friend, Aaron's Inferno. They put together a list of their favorite blogs for 2010. Abcsofswinging made their list! Though a little surprised, I never expected that many readers in the first place. So humbly, I appreciate all the readers of Aaron's site, and I hope to continue putting out enjoyable content far into the future.

For a number of great stories about swinging check out Aaron's great blog.

Red Region Inferno

Sneak Preview! This shit is pretty impressive!

2010-12-19T10:27:00.000-08:00

Men.. and ladies with men over the age of 30, this next post if for you. I was going to wait and give a detailed review, but I need to give a sneak preview. I'm not going to tell you what it is yet. I know, I hate that shit as well. But I want to make sure I run this product through its paces before giving a full review. So too damn bad, you'll have to wait for its name.

Now onto the early results. Friend calls me Wednesday of last week. Wants me to go to a meeting (yeah I know... smells like Multi Level bullshit). At this point I'm not too excited, but because I'm a swinger he wants my opinion on this product he's pushing. The product is an ED and prostate health herbal. Yeah, there are hundreds of them online and in the stores. I've researched this subject often, so my curiosity got the best of me and attended the meeting. Plus, I hadn't heard of anyone pushing ED pills through network marketing companies though there are a couple I've found since hearing about this product.

I attended the meeting and was impressed by the caliber of people attending. All men of course, but they are guys I know in various industries in real estate and the mortgage industry. Most of these guys would NEVER look at a multi level offer, let alone get together to discuss an ED pill. My friend of course kept my reason to himself, so I wasn't paraded around as the swinging guy. Meeting went well, they tried to answer most of my questions. I realized though I knew much more about these products then the host, and had him eventually give me the ingredient information and most importantly - a sample.

Fast forward 9 hours. Sitting in movie theater after a nice dinner with the wife. Pop the two pills they gave me. Sit back and enjoy the movie. Two hours later we're in bed having some fun. I notice that my cock is a little more sensitive. I sport a nice hard on quickly and we start rocking and rolling shortly after. I cum after a few minutes ( a little sooner then I wanted ) and she has not gotten off at this point. So she pulls out the artillery, the 8 inch dildo and vibe, and goes to town in front of me. At this point its only been 5 minutes since I came, and I'm usually done at this point for the night. Well tonight was going to be a little different. After watching her for about a minute I noticed my cock getting nice and hard. Soon she was begging to jump on it again, which of course I complied. She then she rode me for about five minutes until cumming hard. I still hadn't cum the second time, so she continued to ride me. Eventually it was starting to hurt so she climbed off and I was still stiff as a rock. After taking care of some bathroom necessities she jumped back on our bed (naked), and we cuddled. At this point I had reduced back to normal, but then after feeling her naked body against mine, BANG!! it was back again. At this point she felt better, turned over and we began fucking again. This time I finally came, and it was INTENSE.

Okay, 3 times one hour, I was pretty impressed. But these guys said the after affects can last 3 days. At this point I'm pretty stoked, so Saturday I planned on some more play with Mrs ABC that evening. But due to family parties, and she was dead tired. I didn't feel very good due to this antibiotic I'm taking, so I just said fuck it and went to bed. This morning, wake up with enormous morning wood. She can't take her eyes off it, and soon is climbing on. 20 minutes later we're both gasping for air, and she's wanting to know when and how often I can get this pill.

Now, this is just my personal experience. I've also given a sample to another friend of mine, and will be giving a few more out. If most of my friends have a similar experience, and my due diligence proves that the company and product is legit. I will post a full review of the product on this blog. Until then, if you know me, let me know if you want to try it out. If you don't, then please be patient.

Side affects - very few. I noticed a slight headache Saturday morning. Did not notice the side affects I feel with Viagra or Cialis. Didn't notice the muscle pain that I had from the Black Magic I discussed last year. The main ingredient is Icarrin Extract, so if you are sensitive to Horny Goat weed, then perhaps its not the product for you. Bottom line, as with all supplement, please read the ingredients carefully!

Can't wait for Christmas... to end!!!

2010-12-19T00:09:00.000-08:00

Yuletide cheer... oh fuck off! Yes, call me the damn Grinch, but honestly this holiday blows! Starts on November 1st and doesn't end until they pull the last nickel out of your wallet on Dec 24th. Non stop parties, in-laws, parents, pissed off drivers, and the media and retailers jamming Christmas Cheer up your asshole twenty four seven.

I sometimes wish I was a Jehovah Witness, but then again, fuck them as well. Sorry for being so negative, but I think this holiday brings out the shitty in most of us. One other thing it fucks up is my sex life! Everyone has their last swinger parties on the first week of December, friends go into family and work party mode most of the month, little time for anything really, and not to mention my own spouse gets stressed out of her gourd about the upcoming holiday.

But it's not all bad in ABC land. Luckily our anniversary fall's in this month. The best damn thing to ever happen to me occurred 16 years ago on a cold winter morning. I married a beautiful auburn haired, brown eyed, nineteen year old that day. We were both young and had no idea what lied ahead. Though we've had our share of trials and struggles, we've also enjoyed many years of incredible highs as well.

We've been swinging now for almost four years. We've been sexually active in the lifestyle now for 18 months. The crazy fact most monogamous couples will NEVER realize, we're as happy or happier then we ever were in the previous 14 years and 6 months. It's not because of the sex with other couples that we are still going strong. It is due to the time and effort we spend communicating our fears, our concerns, our love for one another.

We are not perfect by any stretch, and I in no way think we can take our marriage and partnership for granted. The minute we do maybe the moment we lose it. That fear alone keeps me always cognisant of my partners feelings throughout this experience. And if I for one second thought that any of this would jeopardize our love, then change would follow immediately. Luckily for us the dream continues and knowing she reads this blog, I want her to know that I will always be at her side, thick or thin, rich or poor, she's my best friend and true love of my life.

So Christmas, I guess I can put up with it. The best day of the month lies not on the 25th of December. But on our anniversary. Happy 16th BABY!!

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell?

2010-12-18T15:27:00.000-08:00

We have been in the lifestyle for several years and based on our personal experiences, we have been very secretive about what we do on the weekend. Although it is very difficult to keep on a need to know basis and the risk of being “caught” is always imminent. As Mr. ABC spoke about being “outed” by a family member, I was "outed" by all those girlfriends you tell your deepest darkest secrets to, but funny thing, I only told one and apparently that was all that was necessary.

Ironically, our first experiences were with two of our best friends during a night comprised of a late night party, raw, sexual tension and a lot of unspoken boundaries broken down.

After many months of continued pleasure we made a decision to go back to being just BFF’s and not FWB’s (friends with benefits). So since this was a mutual agreement we felt we were all safe and the Mr. and I decided to continue our enjoyment with new friends. So one night at the local swinger hangout, we were “outed” and it all basically hit our vanilla world like a tornado.

So, that brings me to my question, don’t tell?

Considering the amount of evidence this vary laptop contains, as I am typing this there is a good chance that I am on the radar of the local geek squad after they hit the mother lode with our pictures. What happens when a family member logs on and is welcomed with my countless conversations about clit piercings and the built up sexual tension and innuendo we have with all our new friends?

Then, that doesn’t even account for the open book you will find on my phone, and the cock shots I get at family dinners that do not resemble my Mr.’s cock, and well not that they would know, cock shots at family dinners do not necessarily go together.

It would be so much easier, in the scheme of things to disclose, but at the same time, we all know that the world as we know it is not as open minded as we would like them to be.

Signing off...Luscious

Splish splash we be taking a bath!

2010-12-12T14:50:00.001-08:00

This last weekend was incredible. One of those you'd like to record and replay again and again Mrs ABC and I had two fantastic experiences, which of course I'm finally getting around to sharing. The first occurred last Friday night. Well resolutions can be useless as shit, and again I found myself enjoying the sweet libations of a vodka and grape (something) drink. It was sugar free, so I'm not sure what type of chemical reaction was going on in my body, but lets say I was sailing after my second big gulp. A very sweet and gorgeous women prepared this drink, so how could I ever say no to her?

Soon we were at our favorite club and watering hole. At this point I hadn't realized my body was on the verge of revolting. But I plunged ahead with several peach long islands. Meanwhile our friends (you've met them in earlier posts) were enjoying the dancing, while my world began to spin like a crazy merry go round. Thankfully I avoided embarrassing myself to much. I was thankful though when everyone decided to go to another friends house for some more fun.

The party continued with three couples, a single guy we knew, and two vanilla single girls. Unlike most of these after parties, the action started quickly in our friends luxury bathroom. He had one of these giant jetted tubs, and soon one of the girls were filling up the tub. We'll I'm a sucker for waters sports and I lose all sense of self consciousness when water is close at hand. Soon I was in my bathing suit, and two naked girls were soon sitting in the water with me. Yes, I'm not making this up, not one but two gorgeous women were in a bathtub with little ole me. To say it was hot is an understatement, and soon the other couples were also enjoying the sight along with getting down in various stages of undress throughout the master bathroom and bedroom.

Mrs ABC, the Host (our friend) and his girlfriend were locked in a three way make-out session. My wife was topless, and the Host was as well. His girlfriend is sort of vanilla, but wants to see how spicy she can get. Let's just say it was hot and leave it at that. I wasn't sure what the single guy was doing, we all assumed he was fucking one of the vanilla chicks. My drink hostess from earlier was in the bathtub with me, and one of the other single girls was with us.

After about an hour of various oral sexual acts, inside and outside the bathroom. We realized it was extremely late. Furthermore, the spins were coming again from the copious amounts of alcohol I had drunk, and a half hour drive awaited us.

One interesting side note. My wife told me this story later, and I debated putting this in, but I'm going to anyway. The reality is our friend the host, he's a cool guy. He's a bachelor and single, but has girl friends rotating in and out of his life all the time. This girl tonight is someone he's been on off again all year. It was during the three way make out session, that his girlfriend asked my wife point blank if she had ever been with her boyfriend. My wife didn't hesitate and said, "yes". Luckily she kept her composure though and put it back quickly on our friends court by stating that "he should give you any details if you want them". My wife and he have been together twice, both times when his girl friend and he were on the fritz. So technically no harm of course, but our friend of course had some "splanning to do". Luckily it didn't kill the mood to much, but my wife had no desire to push any sex again that evening. She hates drama, and girl friend drama can get ugly fast. Probably another good reason we left when we did.

Four pea's in a pod

2010-12-12T14:50:00.000-08:00

I mentioned in my last post that this last weekend rocked. The best night was actually the one we hadn't planned on. We mentioned a couple that we're close to in a recent post. We'll they did have plans this last weekend, but they wanted to get together with us again. So at the last minute we planned a date on Saturday night, and decide to go see the new Harry Potter movie.

After getting through that initial nervous stage, we soon were eating a nice dinner at a cool burger joint that the locals all know in Utah county. Then we drove a short distance to the movie theater, and were soon snug and cozy for the movie. Naturally Mrs "Shallow"... I know, but its an inside joke, however I promised to refer to her as that from now on. Anyway, Mrs Shallow and I enjoyed turning each other on throughout the movie. From gentle stroking of on an other's hands, arms, and legs, to snuggling against one another. Pure cheese!! But it was fun cheese, and though I will have to watch that movie again, I can say it was one of the better movies I've (not watched to closely) in some time.

Mrs ABC and Mr Shallow were getting busy as well, which is no surprise if you've followed this blog. My wife is an amazing sexual creature. Her capacity to make guys feel comfortable and at ease sexually is incredible. Mr Shallow never had a chance, well he may disagree slightly, but this is my blog.

After the movie we decided to go back to our house since in was so close. Mrs Shallow of course wanted the back seat with me, and the fireworks started immediately. Kissing, necking, she climbed on top of me while her husband drove us back to our house. I had no doubt that the fucking would be starting shortly.

The problem with spur of the moment dates is the juggling of your real life. Our kids (5 of them) were home this night. Luckily the movie ended much later then their bed time, and when we arrived everyone was in their bedroom either asleep or getting close. So my wife quietly made sure the kids were down for the night, and I led Mr and Mrs Shallow back to our bedroom.

We tried to watch a movie for a while but that didn't last long. Soon clothes were flying and though I cannot comment on the details (again..promised Mrs Shallow no play by play in terms of the sexual play) let's just say it was beyond hot. One thing though I will reveal, hope she does not shoot me (she reads my blog) for this. But it was fun after, all four of us were curled up against on another in the bed. Like four peas in a pod.

This couple is going to be difficult to not want to see all the time. All of us click and we hope to have many more hot nights or days ( Yes we have booked a trip out of town with this couple), we still realize that reality and balance are still important in any lifestyle relationship.

Disclaimer - I apologize for the brevity of this post and I can state un-categorically that in no way did it do this night justice, but I will remember this night for years to come. Thanks to Mr and Mrs Shallow

Couple interesting articles I came across recently

2010-11-30T06:39:00.000-08:00

Sin City

You'd think Sin City was in Las Vegas, not the case. Just go east and a little bit to the north, and you'll be in the real Sin City. Denver is an interesting town, and after reading this article it now is on "where I may want to live" list. I like the article only because its not the typical slam in regards to this lifestyle. Normally articles you read in the press digress into the negatives of anything considered abnormal by the moral majority.

The Ethical Slut Returns

This is a great interview with the author of The Ethical Slut. Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy wrote this underground hit a number of years ago, and its still considered one of the landmark books regarding polyamory. This concept of multiple loves is one that you see occasionally in the "swinging" world.

In some ways she presents alternative lifestyles much like a multi layered cake. With monogamy as the base, then swinging, exclusive swinging or triad or quad relationships. The writer of this review does a great job of ecapsulating this sentiment with the following quote.

"you don’t mean someone who detaches sex from emotion, or who selfishly takes advantage of others; instead you urge readers to seek love—genuine emotional connections—in “abundance,” rejecting the notion that our affection is a pizza with only so many slices."

I also enjoyed this last quote, because it describes the feelings I've encountered recently in regards to Swinging. I personally function better in a sexual relationship with some type of "connection". I do know many Swingers though who would prefer a "one night stand" with little to no connection.

Young people in the 21st century seem much more utilitarian about hooking up, whereas emotions are reserved for relationships, so it’s bizarre to think of one night stands as romantic

If you read this book, the authors are suggesting that for the right people, exploration of "alternative" lifestyles is not some scary thing, but can be enlightening and full-filling.

Thanksgiving weekend... Feast, Play, Game and Snow

2010-11-28T16:16:00.000-08:00

Happy Swings-giving everyone!! Thanksgiving rocked, with a nice dinner with just our kids this year. It was nice not dealing with the extended family drama this year. Furthermore, being my parents turn to hold the dinner, having them decide to move the dinner to another sibling who lives far away worked out well. No reason to bring up raw feelings still, which I think need more time to heal. (see if Mom and Dad find out)

Friday night we had friend over for dinner, games and some play time. We were able to get our oldest one to stay with their cousin (had to to host), and made sure our youngest were preoccupied and long to bed before the play began.

Unfortunately I will not be able to describe the play this time, due to a promise I made while with this couple. I of course don't want this blog to be a tell all, especially if it causes anyone problems with others that we may be familiar with in our "lifestyle" community. I will however mention that we all had a fantastic time. I was particularly happy due to a number of "mental" blocks that I over came that night. Relatively no issues with a new partner, and was ready to go again later that night with Mrs ABC. I will say the sex was hot and passionate with both women, and now I'm starting to see why some people get so addicted to this. In most cases it has only been my wife who this comes to easily, and for once I felt like I had mastered my emotions. It didn't hurt that the woman I played with is someone I'm really into personality wise, along with the fact she's a beautiful woman as well.

Later my wife relayed what happened with the male half and it didn't take long for the two of us to reconnect in a good love making session. Mrs ABC had a break through as well, she came with our friends male half (orally), and then again later with me vaginally. It kind of surprised her but who's complaining!

Saturday was funtastic! We were called at the last minute by friends of ours in the lifestyle. They were moving to a new house that day and had tickets to the big college rivalry game in our city. I of course jumped on the idea, and Mrs ABC and I had a great time at the big game. Her team won, but it still was great to get out and spend some quality time with Mrs ABC. Sometimes you get to used to social events with other "swingers", whereas balance is something that will keep you from burning out.

Today we were dumped on by mother nature. With about a foot of new powder in the back yard, we both decided that spending the day with the kids and catching up with various personal tasks should be the way to go. I know this isn't as exciting as some of my posts, but hey its my life and its not always hot sex all the time.

"Brass Tacks" Couple

2010-11-23T19:04:00.000-08:00

As Mr. ABC said I am feisty and I will tell you how it is. This also translates into being blunt, and I will tell you exactly what I want, when and where. The Mr. and I are what you would call a “brass tacks” couple.

I am excited to write on this blog and have thought a great deal about what I would start off with and thought, "should I share my first experiences, or should I just jump right in to what is on my mind?" Well, I decided to go with the latter.

So here it goes…

My thoughts for today are this….

Now, let me just state for the sake of being honest, I am not cold or calculated. I am here for the same reasons all of you are, I just want to have fun. We have met some great people, have been exclusive, have had long term “playmates” and have had a few one night stands. We feel that we have really "ran" the whole gamut of the swinger world. This "thought" really pertains to just that first moment, when you meet someone new.

What I prefer, and am known to do, is to walk up to someone at a party, or wherever, and just lay it all out for them. I have often done this and on one hand I don’t think most people take me seriously because they think I am just a tease, but those that have taken me seriously, I would have to say, are the lucky ones. Yes, as well as being feisty I also know what kind of pleasure I bring to the table, and I have a great deal of confidence. Now, don't make any quick judgments, I have a heart of gold -- I am a cancer, sensitive and caring by nature.

I can honestly say that I can tell you in about 5 minutes if I have a connection with someone, if it will go anywhere, and definitely if I want to take it further. I don't want to waste my time, or anyone else's for that matter. I have found that this kind of honesty and forwardness seems to either intimidate people and it's just not their thing, or they get over the initial "shock & awe" and realize they should jump for it. Some people have tendency to like the “courting” period, and, in my opinion, we just don’t have that kind of time. This element is exactly what draws me to being a swinger. Being able to just go after what I want and not go through the drama and courting period. We all have lives, families, and priorities and this lifestyle just adds the right amount of spice and spontaneity to your already content life. RIGHT?

More to come, this was just my first post, I wouldn't want to overwhelm any of you too quickly.

Signing off...Luscious

Sushi Night

2010-11-22T06:43:00.000-08:00

Weekend, party time! As with most lifestyle couples, weekends are always something we look forward to each week. This last weekend was no exception. Mr Sushi and I had discussed a new idea that I have been experimenting with before our local meet and greets. There are a number of experienced lifestyle couples who organize parties and meet and greets each month. My wife and I have wanted to give back to the community, so we thought scheduling another party each month was one good idea, but then the concept of having a "pre-dinner" before a meet and greet became a reality.

Most meet and greets in the lifestyle are well attended affairs. Usually 20 to 50 couples will show up at a local club. The club for this in our area is Habits Night Club. Mixed in with the lifestyle couples are a number of vanilla couples as well, so meet and greets tend to be not initmate (do to a public venue), and often you do not have long to connect. Furthermore, the music is loud and there are many non-swingers in the crowd as well. This is why I hatched the pre-party idea. It's more of a socializing event where lifestyle couples can meet in a quieter dining atmposphere. Hopefully, couples can develop more in common before the club, and perhaps this will increase the chance of attending future parties or turn into play time.

Mr. and Mrs. Sushi did a fantastic time hosting this months pre-dinner party. Though this was not a meet and greet weekend, there usually are a number of regulars at the local night club.

We planned on inviting a number of couples and see where the night led us all. 10 or 11 couples showed up for the party. Mr. Sushi was the sushi chef that night and he made a boat load of excellent sushi masterpieces! I even learned a thing or two about the sushi process, making my first sushi roll!! More importantly, it gave us a chance to connect with couples that we did not know well. There is not a better way to meet people then over a nice glass of saki and a delicious sushi roll.

The rest of the night was enjoyable as well. It was a fun night at the night club. Watching Mrs. ABC shake her booty is always a GOOD thing. No play time with other couples, but we had some additional conversations with a few couples to end the evening, and then play time with Mrs ABC.

Holidays are coming on soon... an exciting play date is scheduled for Thanksgiving weekend.

Alcohol.. not the best social lubricant.

2010-11-14T15:26:00.000-08:00

Things can change from week to week. Last week I was sky high, this week I'm somewhat discouraged. My wife thinks I blow things out of proportion when it involves me and other women in the lifestyle, and I'm beginning to believe her. It's even more compounded when I drink alcohol.

Last night we went to a party. The group that hosted is a couple we had not previously met, so many of the attendees were couples we didn't know. Normally in these situations I feel self conscious. Many think I'm great in any social situation, not so with parties. Because of this I sometimes resort to what many call "social lubricant." The thing is, in the past year I can count on one hand how many times I've been blitzed, and tonight I let my insecurities push me to consume a little too much.

Three "loaded" Corona's later and I was having a GREAT time. I must admit that the party was a good one. The host and his wife were friendly and accommodating. The venue was located in an industrial/commercial building, and though it was a little cold for ladies in corsets, it began to warm up by the time most guests arrived. There were a few couples we knew from other parties, but a majority of couples at this party were either new to the lifestyle or couples we have not socialized with before. The point of these parties is getting to know people you haven't met before.

I had a long conversation with one of the new contributing writers on this blog at the party. I've known her for a while, her husband and I actually served in the same religious mission years ago. She's feisty, has a "tell you how it is" type personality, and I think she'll bring many good insights to this blog.

Now the negatives. The problem when you drink too much is that it's a depressant. Often people enjoy the "buzz" of the initial high of an alcoholic beverage, but then you experience the "let down" which, if you're in a social setting, can cause all kinds of feelings. Often I hear how people's true selves come out when they are drunk. I think that's bullshit. In reality, you allow emotions to run wild, and it can reflect poorly on you with others.

I had that reaction last night. I'm a big guy, and in the past I've really had to fight hard not to feel less attractive or "fat" around other swingers. This party in particular brought those feelings to the surface again, as many of the couples were very fit or young. That feeling isn't easy to extinguish when I'm drinking. Then a couple I've mentioned in a previous post arrived. The female half did not come by and say hello for a while. I think the alcohol fucked with my logic, and my feelings of inadequacy were further inflamed because she was paying attention to a number of other men (guys with six pack abs), which didn't make the emotional shit building up go away.

When I get in this type of situation, I tend to emotionally withdraw more. I will often blame the other party, instead of sticking my head in a cold bucket of water and cooling off. I'm sober today, and I realize that the best thing would have been for ME to go over and say hello. Tell her I was happy she was there, and wish her luck in meeting plenty of new and sexy people. I hope I didn't allow my negative feelings to come out , but when you're drunk and pissy its hard for people not to notice. It's kind of weird though, I was still talking to others, kissing others, and having a good time. But, I guess I felt a little butt hurt that my friend didn't say much to me last night. To be fair, it's not like I gave her a chance to say much, which I hope she doesn't take as a rejection.

On the way home I rambled on and on about it, and bless her heart, Mrs. ABC listened and gave me a few words of advice. Her best advice was to "sleep on it" and then figure out what happened. She quietly pointed out that I don't get upset when she is all over other guys. She also reminded me that this type of party is perfect for meeting other swingers and establishing new connections. Its obvious to me that most of my feelings were self inflicted based on previous feelings of inadequacy. The alcohol exacerbated what would have been dealt with quickly when sober, and today I'm sure what the solution will be so this does not happen in the future.

Therefore, I'm done with drinking at these parties. If I do, it's one beer and that's it. It's physiologically horrible for your body. It fucks with your testosterone levels, it's bad for the liver and the kidneys. It screws with your emotions, and causes more drama than its worth. The sad thing is, I know I'm a cool guy without it and its just a crutch for moments when I feel uncomfortable. So, next party I'm dry as a bone! Yes, the Swagga was doused by alcohol, but it's dried out today and back on baby!

Announcement; Welcoming new guest writers

2010-11-14T12:28:00.000-08:00

Always wanting to improve the content of this blog, I've decided to invite a couple new guest writers. These writers will bring another perspective that I hope the readers find refreshing and unique. I've also brought on an editor, which will shore up a number of grammar errors.

I'm also hoping the new background and design is "cleaner" and easier on the eyes. If any of you "experienced" blogger have any suggestions they would be gladly appreciated. I will continue to write about our personal experiences as well, but I hope to develop this into a community wide blog.

The posts are not just to titillate but objectively answer questions or concerns that new or older swingers may encounter. Therefore if anyone desires any particular subject to be addressed then please send your request to the following email.

email: abcsofswinging@gmx.com

So you want to be Exclusive....

2010-11-12T15:22:00.000-08:00

Is becoming exclusive good or bad? It's a tough question. One that only a couple can answer themselves. As a couple gains experience in the lifestyle, the allure of a deeper and more meaningful relationship may be desired with other couples. Generally, couples get into swinging because they are looking for variety or a new form of community. In most cases, new couples explore the lifestyle in an almost frantic way. They go into it cautiously at first, then realize how liberating it is to have true sexual freedom. The women tend to realize their own sexual self worth, often breaking the traditional conditioning they were taught in their youth. Women who were hesitant to get involved in swinging out of fears of inadequacy or rejection, suddenly find out that men not only desire them, but other women accept them as well. They realize that they are sexual creatures who are powerful and have much to offer the world. Women often adjust to swinging much easier then men. They also tend to compartmentalize each relationship better than most men. In popular literature its often the "star-crossed" female that loses herself in another lover, and leaves her "Steady Eddie" behind.

Men face challenges as well. They think sex with more than one woman sounds exciting, but often this excitement is the social conditioning that tells men that more sex with different women is somehow more desirable and representative of what it is to be a man. In reality, these men learn that women are not "possessions" or just sexy bodies. As they become more experienced in lifestyle, they look more at personality and how the woman makes them feel than they do how the woman looks. In the first stages of swinging, the man can often feel that his relationship with his primary partner is at risk, and finds himself distracted from developing desire or any connection to other females. If his partner demonstrates the ability to not attach to other males emotionally after sex, then this fear disappears. The man then experiences his own awakening, his ability to relate to other women, while maintaining his emotional relationship with his wife or primary partner.

Finally, many couples new to swinging choose quantity over quality in playmates. Often new swinging couples will go through a "slutty" phase. More sex is better, and careful selection of whom they play with is not as important as the novelty. As they mature as swingers, they begin to seek "regular" couples in which they can improve the quality and intensity of the experience. In rare situations they meet what single daters refer to as their 'soul mates' and may perhaps say something such as, "we've become exclusive with so and so." Exclusivity is a preference for the same couple in regards to social events and playtime. It's rare that a couple is actively seeking an exclusive relationship. In fact, it is often frowned upon. Occasionally there are situations where all four people just click, and as familiarity grows so do the feelings for one another. Critics of exclusive swinging often suggest that these couples are into "multiple" loves or polyamory, which is not swinging as defined by that community. As one friend of mine recently referenced, swinging is wife swapping for a temporary moment of time, where "exclusivity" is replacing your spouse for a longer period of time. To my friend this is a dangerous precedent that should be avoided.

I will not suggest that exclusive swinging is wrong. It can be dangerous if any of the four individuals get jealous or wants to swing with other individuals. The other risk is that your partner may develop a deeper relationship with their new partner, and if one spouse wants to change the arrangement or discontinue, the other partner may veto any change due to the new emotional attachment. A good example of this was represented by a conversation I had with one of my lifestyle friends today, regarding exclusivity. We have mutual friends who are struggling in their marriages which my friend attributes to exclusive relationships within the lifestyle. Here are two examples of real life consequences of exclusive swinging.

Situation 1: I spoke to this husband at a poker party not long ago. He's currently in a foursome relationship in which his wife has grown attached to the other husband. The relationship is on its fourth year, but there have been a number of unsuspected consequences. He relayed the sad story that his wife no longer wants to have any sexual relations with him. She has told him that they are really only married now for the kids sake, but for all intents and purposes her heart is now with the other man. This is a major frustration for my friend. He is afraid to rock the boat at this point and continues to wish that things would go back to normal with his wife. He's unwilling to end the relationship with the wife of the other couple due to his fear that she will want her husband back, which will tick my friend's wife off and he may find himself divorced.

The question must be asked; is the nature of their relationship causing the martial issues with his wife, or has his fear of rocking the boat put him in a position where he simply won't come out of this without destroying his family? At this point, my friend sees no hope and he's probably right.

Situation 2: We met a couple this summer who has been in the lifestyle for over 20 years. We talked late into the night one evening, and they shared a number of amazing experiences they've had in the lifestyle. They had an exclusive relationship with another couple and they never regretted it for a minute. The only sad thing about the story was that the other husband died in his 50's of a heart attack, and his widow went off the deep end due to her grief. It also affected our friends, it was just like one of their family had died. The key, they said, to success in that type of relationship is communication between all parties and 100% commitment from everyone in the relationship.

In summary, exclusivity is a choice a couple has to make together. It's a decision that should not be made lightly and the possible consequences should be considered fully. If an exclusive relationship is something that grows into a possibility, just remember the basic rules still apply to this type of relationship: integrity, commitment, and communication between all parties.

One parting thought, swinging or the lifestyle is often what the "regular" world thinks is just a booty call for horny men and women. It's much more than a simple booty call for many swingers. It's an sexual awaking to many, and often begins with the revelation that no one "owns" each other in a relationship. The sad thing is that the non-swinging world does not realize this until the ink drys on the divorce decree. Those couples who understand this principal or more likely to thrive in a 'exclusive' relationship. Those couples who still look at their spouses possessively may want to reconsider 'exclusivity'.

First times and the Back Seat of a car... oh my!

2010-11-10T19:23:00.000-08:00

It wasn't too long ago that the lifestyle was new to my wife and I, and frankly what we read online or in books is much different than what we experienced when dealing with real people and situations. So, a few months ago we decided that it would be fun to help another couple who had just begun exploring the lifestyle. Not too long after this we met the Shallow couple. I'll call them Mr and Mrs S in terms of this post and future ones.

My wife and Mrs S had a fun conversation on chat one evening and agreed to meet for lunch. Mrs. ABC had glowing things to say about Mrs S, so I thought having dinner with the S's would be a great idea. At this point, I wasn't thinking too much more than just a fun dinner with a new couple who wanted to learn more about swinging. The night arrived for our dinner and the first time I met Mrs S my mouth almost hit the floor. In fact, I was almost a little speechless, but as we talked and ate, I perked up. The reason I was speechless was due to my expectations being totally blown out of the water. I had chatted on Facebook with her a few times, and I thought she sounded intriguing. Seeing is believing though, and I couldn't have been more pleased. Mr S and Mrs ABC hit it off well at dinner, and the conversation went from sharing lifestyle advice to deciding when a good time would be to get together for more fun. One other bonus that we both noticed was an ever present sexual tension that we both felt. She surprised me at the end of the dinner, holding my hand to the door, and then kissing me at the entrance to the restaurant. It wasn't a "hey, nice to see you" kiss, it was a full blown "I'd like to get to know you more" kiss!

We had to wait a little while for our next date, but over the next couple of weeks there was a lot of hot chatting, as well as a hot as hell phone sex moment with Mr & Mrs S and myself. I was talking to Mrs S while Mr S was performing awesome oral (something Mrs ABC enjoyed as you will read later) and she had an orgasm while I talked to her on the phone...Way Hot! Finally this last weekend we met up again with our shallow friends. Mrs S and I didn't waste too much time and soon were kissing in the back seat of their car. It was HOT, and soon she was straddling me as we kissed, while her hubby and my wife talked quietly in the front seat. This woman was turning me on, big time, and between feeling her hot mouth on mine and her body pressed up against my crotch, I almost suggested we nix the idea of going clubbing and head to a hotel.

At our favorite club, we introduced our new friends to Mr and Mrs Sushi from our last post and a few other friends. I think couples in the lifestyle can often forget what it was to be vanilla or new. The kissing and "violation" of personal space that occurs in the lifestyle can be disconcerting for new couples. Personally I didn't even think of that issue, and later in the evening I was starting to feel that Mrs S was either hitting the wall (tired) or something else was up. One of our friends invited us to a house party with some other couples, which I knew would mean naked couples fucking, but I thought this may not be the proper time to introduce Mr S and Mrs S to this type of thing. Soon we were driving back down to our house, while my wife and Mr S were really enjoying themselves in the back seat. This time I was in the front seat with Mrs S driving, and I tried some finger play. The angle was a little difficult with what little room I had, and I did not want to distract her so much that we might get into an accident, so Mrs S suggested we should go park somewhere quiet and have a little fun.

Oh, how I forgot about fun times in the front seat of a car. There were a few times in high school when I got down in the front seat, but nothing like that night. Mrs S and I made out for a while, while my wife and Mr S were getting down to business. I looked back once to see my wife leaning backward with Mr S's head in between her legs. The sounds she was making told me all I needed to know, so I focused more on what Mrs M was doing to me! We found a comfortable position even though there was not much room. She leaned over me, sucking my cock, and I soon had her dressed pulled up to her chest. I can't describe just how erotic it was in adequate terms, but feeling and seeing her skin reflect the soft glow of distant lights was just incredible. The feel of her hot mouth on my growing erection was amazing. The sound of Mrs ABC moaning audibly, as Mr S continued to massage her pussy with his tongue, was sexually charging Mrs S and me. I was playing with Mrs S's slick pussy, fingering her as well as I could in the position we were in. Not knowing how well she would take it, I dared to stick another finger in her ass at the same time, and was rewarded with even more earnest sucking on my now hard and very erect cock. This continued for a while, and then I noticed my wifes cries began to pick up pace. I heard her tell Mr S, "Oh, keep doing that. I'm going to cum if you keep doing it that way," which Mr S continued to do exactly the way she wanted and shortly after we all heard my wife orgasm loudly (she's not quiet)! Then it was my turn. I couldn't stop it after hearing that, and Mrs S swallowed every drop down! So fucking hot!! She continued to do something that was interesting after I had shot my load, she didn't stop suckling the head of my shaft. I was so sensitive like normal after orgasming and it was almost a bitter sweet type feeling, one that I think I'd like to feel again someday. By this time it was close to 3 in the morning. They dropped us off at our house. We couldn't stop kissing and hugging each other, and we all agreed that we needed to explore each other in more detail at a later time.

Um... any of you old timers who think new swingers are too much trouble to help, I hope you've read this post! It's not only worth it, but well worth it!! My wife and I can't wait to see our shallow couple again!

Meet the Sushi Couple

2010-11-10T17:55:00.000-08:00

We recently met several new couples. As you know, Mrs ABC and I had a mildly intense relationship with another couple for a few months that recently was put on hold. One great thing about the lifestyle is that there are always new couples to meet and get to know. We're quickly developing nice relationships with two new couples and we're having a ball!

The first couple we met at our favorite dance club. We've talked to them at a couple of parties before, but I, in my non-swagga mode at the time, thought I had no chance with a girl like her. I think my wife liked Mr Sushi, but because I was down playing my chances with his wife, Mrs Sushi, she didn't give it anymore thought. The party we met them at was almost six months ago and about a month ago we were at the club when Mr and Mrs Sushi invited us to join a few other couples in the VIP section. We accepted and proceeded to have a great time hanging with them. At this point, I had finally began to realize that the lifestyle was not all about hard bodies, and to my wife's delight, started to develop my own swagga. The previously intense relationship that I mentioned earlier had helped me, as well. It is a confidence builder to have a pretty woman interested in me, other than my wife. Apparently, I really impressed Mrs Sushi and the following week, at the club, her husband said in a very matter of fact manner, "hey, we'd like you to come over after dancing. My wife wants to suck your cock". Um... wow!! I was a little stunned. I told my wife and she thought that was great. She's such a good little cheerleader, always happy to see me succeed in anything in life. I love that woman!! Anyway, we then joined Mr & Mrs Sushi and another couple at their home. We've been to after parties before. In most cases it can be a little awkward, especially with new couples that haven't played together in the past. This was no different, but Mr & Mrs Sushi were great hosts. A fun time on their living room floor ensued, with Mrs Sushi and I having some "soft" fun. I made the poor girl squirt 6 times which she enjoyed, and soon I was getting an amazing blow job, while my wife's head was next to mine as Lance was pleasuring her orally.

After parties at someone's house can create their own drama, and the other couple who joined us at Mr & Mrs Sushi left in a huff. They had a little issue with the whole thing, and we later realized that they had wanted to hook up privately with Mr & Mrs Sushi and were kind of peeved that we had been invited. I guess my wife and I didn't meet their standards. They even told Mr & Mrs Sushi that they didn't want to be "sloppy seconds." To this day, the four of us enjoy a good laugh whenever we're hanging out. The Sushi's are not into full swap, but it really doesn't matter at all to us. We just enjoy the time we spend with them.

Later the next week we were all talking online through the swinging website we subscribe to and we decided to meet up at a local Del Taco at midnight. This couple is just a great spontaneous couple that enjoys having fun, and we look forward to more fun nights with the two of them.

Mr ABC finds his Swagga.

2010-11-10T17:34:00.000-08:00

Confidence is sexy! I've had numerous ladies tell me this in chat room or discussing what they like about a fella. Sure a woman likes a six pack, dark hair, nice tan, and sexy smile, but what it comes down to really is your "swagga" guys.

I know your laughing now, Swagga is not a word I use allot. It's more for my "hip hop" friends who read this blog, but I really like this word because it encompasses what I want to discuss in this post, and that a woman wants confidence and personality in a potential play partner. I was one of those guys once who couldn't figure out why the girls were just interested in my wife (she is hot) and not to much into me. I always attributed it to my rather robust figure and shaved head. But lets give the ladies allot more credit! Guys look at it as a "looks" issue because that is how they usually evaluate a woman. But women like a hot and sexy guy as well, but in reality its really about how a man makes them feel.

In my opinion, most women in the lifestyle are looking for fun with the opposite sex, but they also by nature can be a little more careful with whom they play. You ever wonder why they feel so comfortable with bi-sexual play first, its another woman is not as big a threat to how they feel as a guy. After numerous conversations with the ladies, the common theme is that playing with other girls is less intimidating. For the ladies who are not bi at all, the process may take a little longer, unless of the course the man has a little swagga.

Now swagga is not cocky! I know some guys can be aggressive and even cocky in their presentation. As one lady told me once, hey I like the bad boy attitude type of guy at first, especially if he's well built and groomed, but if he has zero personality its like looking at a nice picture...eventually you get bored!

I'm going to give you the key right now fella's, and its something that you probably have been told a million times. Your Swagga directly affects your chances of impressing a lady at a party or in a dating situation. Yes, you need to groom yourself well, brush the teeth, keep your manly smells pleasant, but also be up beat and yourself. Act like you really like being at that party. If people are dancing and you hate it, get over it!! If your tired from work, then drink some coffee and perk up.

Some of it could be mental as well. Personally that has been my biggest issue. I'm in sales in my professional life, and one thing I've always been trained to understand that the way you behave as a customer is what you will transfer to your own customers as a salesman. In other words, you always think price is an issue, then you better be ready for all your customers to be concerned about price. It's almost human nature, and so if your feeling ugly, not funny, stupid, or uninteresting, then guess what? Yep, she is as well.

Again this is my opinion, but this comes from much trial and error. A lady wants a man with Swagga, someone who is happy with themselves, who takes pride in their appearance. No, they don't expect you to be a movie star (though they wouldn't mind that either) but they do want to feel comfortable around you. You establish a comfortability level with them, then the rest should come more naturally. If she's smiling allot at you, looking in your eyes allot, laughing at your dumb jokes, you know its going to be a great night.

This post is because of a number of breakthroughs I've had in the past few months. And guess what, the Lifestyle is now much more enjoyable. The great thing is that after each successful encounter, the greater I feel about myself and it translates to more successful sexual experiences as well.

One word of advice to you guys over 40. One thing I'd highly suggest, go get a testosterone test! It's that important for health reasons, but also it could help you in the lifestyle as well. It's not just for sexual ED issues, but more about the feeling of being a man. Remember those years when you were in your teens and 20's, and you thought you could rule the world. We'll I'm sorry, but that was mostly testosterone. And after 35 nature can be brutal.

Ships passing in the night

2010-11-08T23:29:00.000-08:00

If your familiar with the lifestyle you probably have heard this a million times before. That is communication is the only way to survive as a partnership if you are married or in committed relationship and you are in the lifestyle. If communication is not present then you will certainly crash and burn and often it ends not well for that partnership.

Communication is easy to utter but so much more difficult to apply in an relationship. Often jealousy a symptom of insecurity is exacerbated by the simple refusal of the parties involved to communicate on a basic or more advanced level. Often what is considered a minor nuance or misunderstanding can blow up into a full blown crisis. Then your not only thinking of taking a long break from the lifestyle but maybe from that partnership as well.

Most people think communication is only a monologue of events that occurred and then reported, but true communication takes all your senses to fully be processed. Each of us may have unique styles of communication that we favor and sometimes if not understood we miss our partners feelings or emotions. Like two ships passing by one another in the night not knowing that they missed one another. One of my favorite Barry Manilow songs is "Ships" and the following lyrics being the most poignant.

There's a boat on the line

Where the sea meets the sky

There's another that rides far behind

And it seems you and I are like strangers

A wide ways apart as we drift on through time

He said, it's harder now, we're far away

We only read you when you write

We're two ships that pass in the night

And we smile when we say it's alright

We're still here

It's just that we're out of sight

Like those ships that pass in the night

If your going to "Swing" or enjoy the lifestyle to its fullest then this simple but difficult task must be practiced or all hell will break out. In the 4 years we have been involved in the Lifestyle, several friends have gone through divorces due to not watching for the red flags that could have kept their marriage intact. After years of it ourself we still find that often little things are missed or not discussed, and often it creates small conflict due to one party feeling less informed or not included.

Communication also requires a commitment to full disclosure. I heard once on a new Podcast from I-tunes about a relatively new couple to the lifestyle who maintained in their podcast that the act of sex is sometimes so private that often they don't feel comfortable talking about what happened with one another, and they speculated that this could one reason a couple avoids to much disclosure about a wild night with someone they hooked up with at a party. The fear being that if someone pleased you more, or made you feel a certain way, that your partner would feel insecure or jealous. Certainly there could be some truth to that statement, but most jealousy is a result of not feeling secure in the relationship. Therefore if you don't talk about your feelings, and you find out latter that the guy she was with rocked her world, how much more insecure are you going to be? It can be a vicious circle which leads to further conflict and emotional drama, which of course can break a couple up.

I'm not a therapist so I'm not going to offer any sure fire way to communicate with your partner. I can however relay what my wife and I do as a couple. We always discuss the nights activities if not to tired on the way home from an event. We'll also make sure we have reclamation sex shortly after or the next day, this is also a good physical way to tell if something is bothering the other party. In addition we will keep a little distance between play dates so that there is time to process each experience properly. This seems to work for us but maybe some of you can think of better ways to accomplish the same thing. But the most important thing if your going to play in the lifestyle is to simply DO IT.

A relationship wanes and new relationship dawns.

2010-11-08T17:48:00.000-08:00

One thing about writing blogs, it can take a lot of dedication, which I've been lacking since September. Luckily for our sex life my dedication to writing does not equal our experiences in the lifestyle. My wife and I successfully navigated Halloween. Funds were tight this year so bargain costume were the name of the game, but we did successfully pull off a gangster and flapper costume that received a number of compliments. As for the couple in September, we were seeing them on a regular basis. That affair continued for a few more weeks, with one very hot night where the four of us enjoyed a intimate dinner and play time at our home. My wife and Mr T were all over each other, as usual, and Mrs T and I enjoyed some kinky oral fun. This continued for several hours and we sent them home at 3 in the morning. After this, though, things began to cool off with the T's.

Sometimes in the lifestyle things change and there is nothing you can do about it. Developing a close relationship with another couple was never the goal and if you keep hooking up with the same couple feelings are bound to develop. Communication between two people can be difficult enough, and communication between four people is even tougher. The T's life is complicated and right before an event we were to go to with them, they notified us that they were taking a break from the lifestyle. We'll miss playtime with the T's, however they are still dear friends and we try and see them every few weeks. If they do decide to jump back in we'll be there again for them.

I must admit the day I found out that the T's were no longer swinging, it kind of made me a little sad. I didn't realize how a friendship with someone is magnified so much by sexual participation and though we know we'll still see them, the reality is the relationship has changed. My wife and actually felt a little unsettled and shed a tear or two as we talked about it for a few days afterward.

The T's were a good learning experience for us. They were the first couple we have actually grown close to in terms of friendship and sexual play. We've had a number of flings with other couples, but this was the first time we really started to connect with another couple in a way we never imagined. I can't say it was that bad of an experience, even though we had attempted until that time to avoid any emotional relationship with others. We made some mistakes, but that's the nature of this experience. I think we're stronger now as a couple from these experiences with the T's, and look forward to the future. Which we will delve into more detail soon.

Jealousy is like a cold!

2010-09-02T13:43:00.000-07:00

Jealousy is a funny disease. It's almost like a cold. You think your over it and then it sneaks up and bites you in the ass another day. This time it took me a little while to diagnose it, but now that I realize whats bugging me its helped me sort through my feelings quickly.

My wife and I met a fun couple recently. We've clicked on many levels, but like usual my wife is ahead of me. As a man, I've noticed that swinging is much easier in some ways for a woman then men in general. Men tend to be the first ones to introduce their partners to swinging, but then are shocked when their partners are more excited then they are about it.

I've been finding myself in that situation lately. Various reasons, from not feeling attractive enough compared to some of the other guys who live in the gym, to struggling with a number of little things that begin to clutter inside your head. I keep hearing about men who have performance issues, but could the issues be more whats not being taken care of internally, and less about their performance? I myself have had this issue, but I usually chalked it up to the fact that I simply wasn't into the woman I was with. There could be valid reasons, but then on the other hand there is a willing female (no matter what she looks like) who is wanting to have sex... whats the issue?

So around and around my mind swirls. And then we run into this fun couple recently. My wife and he hit it off instantly. Hot text messages fly back in forth all day long between them, much like new teenagers in lust. This time I'm attracted to his wife unlike many of our previous experiences, but I have the nasty habit of over thinking everything, and with some lingering insecurities I really have a challenge getting present in these situations. But she's a nice girl, nothing wrong with her at all. She's allot different then my wife, she is more reserved, but she's also patient and understanding, unlike some women I've met in the lifestyle, and we hit it off in terms of a friendship. Sexually we're still figuring it out unlike our "teenager" spouses.

So anyway, I managed to get those internal issues resolved finally, then we hit mild speed bump the first night the four of us get together. She and I play a little, but her Dad is in town, and she's having allot of issues with her sisters. So I can tell she's having a difficult time that night, so I foregoe intercourse with her and we talk. Meanwhile my wife and her husband of course are banging away in our bedroom, and of course enjoying every minute of it. Later I find out that she did want to have sex, but again I over analyzed it, but she seems to be pretty understanding and even grateful I'm not a typical fuck em and leave em kinda guy.

Well its more then a week later, all four of us want to get together again soon. My wife and her husband are hot and heavy as ever, and things are going great between myself and my friend. But then I get a weird text about how they want to open things up in their marriage. Hey, to each his own, if you can date singly and still make the marriage work then great. But I notice a change in her texts... well I didn't get a text after sending her several. This isn't normal for her, so my curse in life is being able to take snippets of information from various sources and coming up with a analysis that is usually spot on. She finally called me today, and I teased her about not text-ing and then she tells me she met a new guy, was with him all afternoon.

Well, I wasn't prepared for what happened in my head. It was like all the previous shit I was worried about was suddenly true once again. She's really taking one for the team, she's not into me, she's really into a new guy, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I know if your reading this your thinking, WTF dude! Yep, and I agree 100%. Hey, but stay with me, I'm not going to self destruct like you think.

Wow.. didn't think that would happen, and makes you take a step back and say.. WTF! Thank goodness I caught it at this point. For a minute I was letting some of the old shit in my head come back in and cause havoc. But then I thought, "what the hell, she can see whomever she wants", isn't that what this is all about? And to answer my question, yes it is, and if you can think flirting or banging more then one woman at any given time, then why not her.

But then you have to ask yourself some hard questions.. Is it the fact she's seeing someone while planning on getting with me again soon. Hmm.. maybe a little. But I think part of my problem could be the fact that our relationship is nothing like my wife and her husbands? Ahh.. see now your starting to keep score buddy, and that will always lead to disappointment. So is it really about your wife, her lover, your new lover, or is it just the insecurities in your own head. BINGO!

So is there really anyway to get rid of insecurities totally. I'm not sure there really is. You can got to expensive self help seminars all you want, but the reality is your personality is what makes you the person you are. Good and bad, its a combination of experiences throughout life that shape who you are. The key is to understand when the bad shit is occurring and then how to pull yourself out of it.

I've also realized, most people don't want to hear about your bad shit. They have a bunch of their own running through their own heads. So bringing up yours is just a way of reminding them they have some of their own. So sorry reader is that applies to you, but hopefully this is helpful in some way the next time your feeling left behind, inadequate, less confident. It happens to us all, but its only conversation in your head. You don't like the conversation then change it!

OR go get some golf balls, knock the shit out of them for a few hours. Come back with a good perspective about how hot your wife is, how your going to be with a hot girl this weekend as well, and don't worry about the stupid shit. I think I'm going to do both ;-)

Most people in the lifestyle will not expose themselves like this, but I know many who go through the same struggles. And please spare me the self righteous comments if your thinking them, I've heard every platitude there is about the lifestyle. Reality is there is drama, and there are people in the lifestyle that may or maynot should be in it. The reality is that no one is a robot without feelings or emotions and those whom express and talk them through are generally the ones with a healthier outlook in this lifestyle or their lives in general.

Unexpected "Lover"

2010-07-28T08:03:00.000-07:00

Unexpected - Coming without warning; unforeseen

This happened to us recently. I've been in a certain industry for a number of years. While working within it I've developed a number of contacts and some of those have become friends over the years. One of these friends I invited with his girl friend to one of our "fantasyer" parties last October for a Halloween party. Well little did I know, but after meeting my wife that evening, he had harbored a wild fantasy about her for the next 7 months.

As for his girlfriend, things have not gone well on that front for my buddy. She's kind of a demanding partner from what he tells me, and personally from the stories he's told me, she's abusive as well. So when I got a text from him on July 4th (Sunday morning), I was a little startled with his reference to how "hot" my wife is, but first he apologized for being so forward. I told him not a problem, that I get compliments about her all the time. Then he asked if there was any chance of him getting with her, I told him that is totally up to her but I'm flattered that you feel that way.

So began a 5 hour text session between my buddy and my wife. I guess he's good at sending stimulating text messages and she was hot and wet before they had finished their conversation. She first made sure it was okay to set up a play date with my friend, then two days later with my blessing she drove to his apartment for an exciting two hour sex session.

Later when I was deep inside her that night, I got all the details (which of course makes me even more excited), and it was interesting to hear about my buddies skills. It still was shocking in some ways, because I NEVER expected his interest in her, let alone be willing to do something like this as well. She did state that he was very good with his oral skills, and that finally motivated me to find instruction (online) to refine my own skills in that department. Luckily for me I did find a good ebook which I cannot find now on my desktop. But it did give me some excellent skills to work on with my wife.

Well it's been a few weeks, but round two came last night. My friend has been sending text back and forth all week. His text messages were very descriptive and my wifes excitement began to rise. This time however, I was going join them. The plan was that I would attend to several business obligations then join them at his apartment. This I did, however I was mentally dying each second I wasn't there. Finally I finished up and headed over to the apartment, knocking on the door it took a second for him to answer. He was in a bathrobe with a big smile on his face and soon I joined him and my wife in the bedroom. She was naked and was looking happy as well giving me a big smile when I entered the room. I think my friend was kind of nervous at this point for multiple reasons. For one he has never "swung" before this experience with us. Number two, we've known each other on a professional basis for sometime, and I think this kind of through him off for a while.

There was nervous energy in the room at first, then my wife began teasing him with her feet, rubbing her foot up his naked leg and thigh. Eventually my friend got over his nervousness as I was watching and they began to 69 in front of me. I always like watching my wife work on "cock", she's become a master at her craft. From the way she suckles a mans cock, to the way she works her tongue and her hands. Soon my friend was thrashing as the pleasure increased. At this point he wanted to put on a condom and she climbed on top of his erection. She began riding his cock, but then stopped shortly which she told me why later that evening.

At this point we agreed to all go to dinner like planned. My friend is from England, and his favorite food is Indian food, and he knew about a fantastic place close to his home. The three of us then enjoyed a great meal, and I got the play by play of what happened between dropping my wife off at his door and my arrival. Turns out that my wife could no sooner enter the apartment then my friend was kissing her and touching her. He quickly shed her panties and went down on her right in the hallway. At this point clothes began flying off her body and he took her into his bedroom. At this point they 69'd (their favorite position), and after awhile she told him he could do anything he wanted with his cock. Well, we'd been talking about doing a DP with him all week, so I think having his first anal experience was something that greatly excited him. I was a little bummed, because I wanted to do that in a DP, but oh well (what can you say with inexperienced swingers). So he entered her ass with his cock, and according to her he was very gentle, but then she wanted him to push deeper. At this point they got into a steady rhythmic pattern, and I think like myself the first time, the whole idea was so wild that he came quickly.
After he came the first time they then just kissed and talked, and we're just getting into round two when they heard the knock on the door.

So after we had finished our dinners, my wife excused herself to go to the bathroom. At this point my friend asked me some tips on how to make her squirt. I guess he had tried that a few times with little success, and I attempted to describe in detail the key in getting her to go. After dinner we drove together back to his apartment, and then we quickly got back into it. I moved behind my wife, kissing her neck while unbuckling her pants, slipping her shirt off and unfastening her bra. My buddy quickly joined in the front, helping her shed her panties while giving her pussy a warm tongue bath. Soon she was bucking as we both pressed in closer and closer, my cock at sprung to attention and was rubbing up and down her ass, and I could feel her back arch as my buddy's tongue began to work her clit.

At this point I wanted to watch them, and I laid down on the bed. They began to kiss and embrace, and he soon had her on her back lying across my legs. He then buried his head in her pussy again and his onslaught continued. She then attempted to give me oral, but our body angles made it difficult at first. At this point my buddy attempted to finger her G-spot. She told me later that he was hitting the right spot, but unlike me he still hasn't learned to gradually increase the pressure as he pulls against the urethra and skene glands. He told me latter he was only using one finger, and I explained that stroking both glands is what really drives her crazy.

After fifteen or twenty minutes of more oral, I had her get on all fours and suck my cock. This felt awesome and it actually gave my buddy a better angle as he attempted to get her to squirt. All I know is she had to stop a number of times giving me oral due to the great feelings she was receiving. After a while I suggested she give him some head and I switched places with my buddy. I then started giving her G-spot stimulation and within seconds she was really gushing for the first time that night. My buddy was impressed, he truly wanted to learn how to do the same thing. My wife at that time was finishing her third or fourth G-spot orgasm, and at this point he said he was ready and I flipped over on my back again while she mounted me. At this point I thought a DP would occur, but my buddy wasn't as ready as he thought. No problem though, at this point my wife and I continued, she was riding me and I was enjoying every second.

Let me put it this way, sometimes with new (people), it can be awkward on the bed. I think knowing how to manage positions in a 3some is very important. Its very tough when another guy is lying next to you on a queen bed, and there is little room to grip the side of the bed or other actions while he's just lying there. I guess I should have told him to move, but sometimes you just don't think of the obvious. Anyway, we fucked for a while, with me finally having my orgasm. But I could tell my wife was close but just not there yet. But the room was so "hot" (heat), that I had to go out to the living room to cool off. They continued to talk, but I knew I had to take care of business before we left. My wife hand't had a clitoral orgasm as of yet, and a few minutes later I re-entered and joined the two of them on the bed. At this point I really demonstrated to my friend how to get off. And I also took advantage of a awesome vibrator that he owned. She took the vibrator, and I stimulated her Gspot at the same time, within a minute she was screaming both our names.

On the way home we talked about it for a few minutes, though she was exhausted. I guess the big difference between her time alone with him, and me being there, was his confidence level. I think another male, and one that knows her well, intimidated him slightly. I'm sure in future play dates he'll relax more with me around, but I guess that makes sense. I've felt the same way around other womens husbands or couples that were familiar with one another.

Anyway, we both were exhausted and went to be early last night. But she had a big smile on her face this morning when I dropped her off at work. Clearly this wouldn't be the last time with my buddy.

So what do you do if Dad and Mom find out

2010-07-23T14:24:00.000-07:00

I'm sure some of you have handled this situation, and others do not look forward to it at all. Let's be really frank with you new swingers. If you think no one is going to ever find out then your kidding yourself! So if your in a sensitive job, or if your mortally afraid of parents, friends, or bosses finding out then get out now!

This summer has been an interesting one. My parents just found out about my wifes and I's indiscretions and it was not one of the more comfortable experiences in my life. The catalyst was my own personal stupidity after leaving evidence on our home computer. What I didn't realize is that I needed to clean the cache and temporary internet folders each time I ever went to a interesting site, or our online profile at www.swingular.com. The other issue was the 15 second video clip of my wife getting it from one of our friends. She was facing the camera, the guy was totally in the shot and I was holding the camera, nope you can't lie your way out of that one.

So another family member found it on my computer, they then spoke to my parents because they feared for our marriage. Of course Mom and Dad cried and wonder why their kids are not turning out perfect (they are 60 plus now). I had to do damage control with both, assuring them that everything was fine and nothing to worry about, and that snooping family member got a earful the next time I spoke to them.

So new rules. NEVER put anything on a main computer you don't want anyone to see. I don't care how well you encrypt it or bury it. You never know when a friend, family member, child will be snooping around. So if you don't want to be seen in all your glory in some impossible situation to explain, then keep it on your personal laptops and keep them with you at all times. Even better, keep all compromising shots on zip drives, and make sure you always clear your browsers (temp files and caches).

But the reality is if your in it long enough and your really active, your going to be found out. It's just inevitable.

Summer update coming

2010-07-23T10:03:00.000-07:00

Usually summers are kind of slow, but there have been a number of interesting updates that I need to share. So no one worries, we're still going strong, maybe a little fewer hookups but when we do its damn hot. There will also be a couple special interest posts about subjects my wife and I feel are important.

Preview:

"Getting outed by a family member" ... so what happens when your 60 plus parents find out your a swinger.

"July 4th Surprise"... you never know where potential playmates will pop up. Especially if it's someone you've worked with for years...

"Is your woman faking it"... 80% of women fake it according to a new MSNBC report. Find out how to tell if she is and some of the reasons why.

"Fantasy's and how to get others to help you full-fill them"... working on right now, when it actually happens I will post the results.

Just a little get together

2010-05-03T08:00:00.000-07:00

Nothing better then some hot group sex on a Saturday night! We were invited to several party's this weekend (seems like there is always one every week), and this one with a group we've played with before. Our first "orgy" was with this group, and this was our second time with these people.

Okay, disclaimer guys, #1 Don't drink if you need to perform at a high level, #2 Don't take Canadian Viagra (its FAKE).... ok...got that out of the way...no the night was not a complete failure on my end, but it was a little rough.

This group is 3 or 4 couples plus a single guy who hosts the party (tip for you single guys - host the party and everyone feels just fine with you). We went to dinner with one of the couples before hand, one we actually were with earlier in the week, so the vibes at dinner were sparking and the time we arrived at our friends house for the party we were already taking off items of clothing.

Naturally you always have to wait for some couples to arrive and this was no different. So my wife and who I call Energizer Bunny were frolicking on the floor next to the couch. I was snuggling on the couch next to his wife, sipping my third beer (mistake!) and both girls were knocking down some tequila and whiskey (good actually). Then Energizer approached me quietly and slipped me two blue canadian viagra pills, for all intensive purposes they looked like it, but I've had a scrip in the past and they are placebo's. Anyhow, I realized that I may have drank a little to much beer between dinner and waiting for the other couples, so at this point I think I started worrying a little bit (metal mistake).

The other guests arrive, and at that point the play party gets serious. Soon our single friend and I are getting our cocks coated in chocolate and Mr Energizers wife is making quick of the chocolate.. (big smile). I notice my wife has already been escorted into the spare bedroom, and the rest of us start playing in the living room. I give oral sex to two women at once (awesome), then single guy and the other husband from the late arriving couple begin fucking. Soon we hear my wife clearly moaning in the other room, which of course I'm curious look into the bedroom and see our friend Mr Energizer pumping away like a mad man.

Another one of our new friends arrive at the party, his wife is pregnant so she's not willing to play much, but she allows her hubby to play (good for the girls, not so much for the boys). So at this point the majority of people migrate from the living room to the bedroom. Soon the bed is crawling with naked bodies. My wife at one point is being fucked by Energizer bunny from behind, his wife is in a 69 position with my wife and is sucking her clit, and my wife is giving a blow job to our late arriving friends husband...(wozer!!) At this point my engine takes fire finally!! (or the body has processed alcohol more).

A few minutes later Energizer Bunny's wife has me on my back and she's giving me a hummer. She takes her time and meanwhile my wife is getting banged right beside me on the bed. At this point I'm really enjoying myself and feel that I'm close to cumming. At this point his wife said that she wants to swallow my load, and of course I oblige.

The party continued for another hour, I demonstrated to my wifes amazed male adorers her squirting skills (which she claimed later was the closest she came to orgasm). Something about to much alcohol and sexual performance.. I think Alcohol is the worst thing you can consume in sexual play. I know it relaxes people, but I really don't think it's worth it when it comes to the big O. Oh well....

Long night, it was almost two in the morning before we knew it.... Single guy wants to do this on a regular basis (go figure)

Should you allow hall passes as a couple?

2010-04-26T16:40:00.000-07:00

My intentions in creating this blog were not just as a "tell all" of my wife and I's swinging experiences. I also desired to create discussion or thought regarding some of the issues that swinging brings to a marriage or to society in general. As a relatively new swinger, I didn't want to come across preachy or patronizing and so I hope this one doesn't offend because its meant to inform.

The other day I was chatting with a new friend online. He is a swinger and six months ago he was divorced. Found out that he and his wife of 12 years had been swinging for some time, and over the process of time they had become more loose with their rules. Soon she was "dating" the male member of a couple they had been seeing. Both other spouses were okay because they thought that it was only for sex. But after a number of "dates" and over time his wife fell for this guy and the same with the other husband. Both parties left their respective spouses and now are living together. My new friend wasn't divorced for long and now lives with a stripper and of course they are ... you guessed it....swinging.

There are plenty of swingers that have rules, but when do you know when to say when? The unknowns in the above scenario are obvious. We don't know how well his wife and he communicated, we don't know if there were any issues before hand. The reality is that he let his wife play to often with out him and it cost him a marriage. My new friend paid a steep price for his "trust" or for a lack of awareness of what was really going on. In either case it wasn't the outcome he was looking for and his partying shot to me was, "Be very careful".

So that makes you wonder, burned once is understandable and is one thing, but why would you put your self in the position to do it again (which he is from his own accounting of a recent adventure of his new partner). But I couldn't even imagine losing my wife over "Swinging" and we talk about red flags and our feelings for one another all the time. I guess it takes an empathetic and great awareness between a couple for swinging to work on a long term basis. Or the rules you make with one another need to be strong and both partners need to be loyal to these rules. If you have a hard time following rules then playing in general is dangerous, but playing alone with someone is suicidal to your marriage or partnership.

My wife and I have talked allot about swinging alone or only together. In most cases (90%) we wouldn't even consider doing it alone with someone else. The other 10% is the question. We've both decided that unless we know the person very well, and thats more then just a one night stand, then perhaps we'd consider it in a controlled and brief encounter. Not only is safety an issue for my wife, but there are men and women in married and single situations that are looking for more then a sexual partner for an afternoon.

I also think its contingent on oneself to judge if this is something they want to pursue or not. You need to ask yourself some serious questions. 1- Is this really for both of us, so that I can share later with my Life Partner the excitement of the encounter, or is it really just for my own thrill. 2 - does this person make me emotional, and does it ever make me think of wild fantasy's of running away from my current life? 3 - is my current life void of drama and too much emotion? If your on the wrong side of any of these questions then you need to reconsider playing without your partner. I also recommend that you listen to your "gut" as well, to often we don't listen to what that inner voice is telling us and sometimes we end up regretting it.

I love swinging or the lifestyle, it's been a great experience to this point and both my wife and I have no regrets. It's even brought us closer in most cases and we understand one another a whole lot better. But I would stop it in a second if I ever thought it would ruin my marriage and I think each one of us needs to be mature enough to hit that eject button if it ever comes to it.

Until then or if then, have fun everyone !!!
and keep on swinging!!!

Las Vegas Revisited....Part 2

2010-04-12T12:59:00.000-07:00

(wifes version)... So Karl left with his friend to get the car from the other Condo, and I was hoping to see Vegas Friend! I had been looking forward to it actually for over a week since I first heard we were going. The first experience with him had been very fun, and I couldn't wait to feel his tongue on my pussy. Finally he text'd that he was close and wanted to know where I was, I told him that I was at the bottom of the escelator next to the Tao night club. Then finally I saw him come down the stairs and he immediately hugged me and then gave me a passionate kiss.....oh wow..now I was really feeling excited, my heart was beating quickly. I told him about the fact that Hubby was getting our car from another location and that Hubby said to take me to the room and get started. I could tell that made him kind of excited, and soon we were in his car heading to the condo. He couldn't keep his hands off me, and I jokingly advised him to be careful on the road.

Soon we arrived at the condo, and we stood in the room and kissed passionately. He slowly then began undressing me, as we continued to play kissing tag. Quickly off came my blouse and then he started on my bra. At this time Karl arrived at the condo, he told me later he stood by the door trying to hear any cries of passion in the room, but the damn AC was to loud so he decided to come into the Condo.

(hubby's version)

I arrived almost with perfect timing. The only thing that would have been more hot is if I had caught them both fully in the act. (secret fantasy of mine). Seeing my wife and Vegas Friend passionately embraced was HOT, and I soon was comfortable in my chair watching the two of them entwined. Soon Vegas Friend picked my wife up and deposited her naked body on our bed, and then quickly shed his clothing and they were soon kissing again on the bed. At this point Vegas Friend lived up to his reputation and began kissing her all over. Soon she was writhing in pleasure as he began to eat her out. I could see the look on her face of pure pleasure, and everyone knows she has the sexiest smile, well she was smiling!!

Our Vegas Friend continued his sexual assault on her pussy, and she suggested that they get in a 69 position, which at this point things really heated up. She was sucking his cock, and he had his face planted in her pussy. Then he took his hand and put one finger in her pussy feeling her Gspot, and took the other and rimmed her ass. Oh wow, her arousal level went into overdrive at this point. She barely could concentrate on the other side of the 69, as she had to repeatedly pull her mouth off his cock as he continued to work on her. I started to see her chest and back begin to redden as she approached her climax. Soon she was shaking and moaning loudly as her orgasm shook her.

At this point I was so hot myself. My cock was rock hard, and I had to restrain myself from jumping in at this point. I had told her before they started that I wanted to just watch the first round, and so I continued to take pictures and video, and watched as they then switched positions and she continued to suck his cock. I think he was a little sensitive at this point, so she then started grinding him. This of course resulted in him penetrating her with his cock, and she began to ride him hard! She continued to ride him hard, and normally he keeps control, but I think this was just to much and he came hard.

Okay folks, this was just to much at this point and I HAD to get involved. So I asked her politely to get off of him and mount me. At this point I could feel how incredibly wet she was, and we began fucking. She rode me for several minutes, and then I stood up and began fucking her incredibly from behind. After a few minutes of intense fucking I finally blew my wad, and she collapsed on the bed.

But at this point Vegas Friend was ready again, and after a short break they were both going at it again on the bed. Though at this point she didn't cum again, she came very close a number of times. He worked his ass off for the next hour attempting to make her cum again, but every time she'd come to the edge she'd back off for some reason. Finally it was about 3 in the morning, but she was tired, and though he wouldn't admit it, he looked hammered!

After he left, we both cuddled and talked about it for a few minutes, but it was so sleep we couldn't keep going. But the next morning she was still turned on and I fucked her again before taking a shower. Then on the way home we talked about it all the way to Salt Lake, and last night we made love for over an hour, and she came hard after multiple G-asm's that I'm good at administering with my fingers. Whew, 4 orgasms for me and 2 for her in 24 hours, and at lunch today she told me she was still incredibly horny! WOW....

Hey Vegas Friend, I know you read this blog... THANK YOU!

Las Vegas Revisited Part 1

2010-04-12T12:34:00.000-07:00

Gotta love it that we live so close to Las Vegas. Friend of ours invited us down to Vegas with them, and we accepted of course. Made the drive from Salt Lake in about 5 hours, and we stayed in a great little room that only cost us 59 a night. It's called Club de Soleil, and its part of the Consolidated Resorts time share group. They have another club called Tahitian Village, which we've been through in a time share pitch, but this thankfully we purchased over Hotel.com and did not require a time share presentation.

Arriving late that evening we met our friends at Panevino Restaurant which was close to the Airport, definitely a four star location, the wine alone was worth the visit. We arrived after the kitchen closed, but the owner is one of my buddies friends and they opened the kitchen for my wife and I when we joined our group.

From there it was off to our friends condo, where we chilled out drinking and he wanted us to see the pool area at midnight. Unlike most places we've stayed at they leave the pool and hot tub open to guests and tenants 24/7.

My friends condo was beautiful, a two bedroom unit located close the strip. He had a group of his buddies (guys) staying with him and though they didn't know we were swingers, there were a number of "holy shit" looks when they checked out my wife. One of my friends buddies even commented quietly that he was pretty impressed that I landed such a hottie! (LOL...young men think they have such game...)

Due to the 5 hour drive, and it was close to 2 AM, my wife and I decided to call it a night. We knew we were hooking up with our VEGAS friend from an earlier blog post.

The next day we hit the outlet mall, there we found a nice outfit for that night for my wife, and I talked her into buying a couple pairs of shoes (what women don't love shoes!), these were what I think are called wedges, anyway they added 4 inches to her height, I didn't realize how much sexier it made her. She loved it because she didn't have to crane her kneck so much to kiss me.

Later after a long afternoon in the sun and a quick nap we got back together with our vanilla friends and headed over to the Venetian to hit Club Tao. It's a great club, but its CROWDED. I personally don't hate crowds, but this was out of control. I just hope there is never a fire in one of these clubs because I don't know how they'll get everyone out in time. Also its a great place for "pickpockets" to steal your wallet. One of our friends was accosted by 5 girls, whom he though were just flirting, but later he realized that his wallet was missing. During this whole time, my wife was anxiously texting our Vegas friend about meeting us at the club. Never the less we didn't stay very long at the club, and soon we were headed back to my friends condo's. I told my wife to wait for our Vegas friend, and said I'd grab the car and meet her at our condo later. The next post will be from her perspective, then mine as well when I join them at our "hotel"/condo room.

Same room or separate room? Age old debate

2010-03-17T09:31:00.000-07:00

Perhaps one of the more confusing things to deal with is the age old, same room or separate room. My wife and I love to play in the same room. We love watching each other in regards to our facial expressions or watching the other party in the embrace of their lover. It's erotic and it really "juices" us up in our own play long after we've returned home.

However, sometimes group play can be distracting. This is a learning process and we're still learning. The other night we got together with a really cool single guy we know. He's one of the nicest and coolest guys you could ever know, a little older then our normal play partners, but my wife really likes him. Things went great all the way until we were in the bedroom. We still had allot of fun, he being the only other man then myself that has been able to get my wife to squirt and have multiple Gspot orgasms. But there were some other difficulties for him, and I think for both my wife and I in terms of focus.

On the way home we discussed some of these issues. One thing we both realized, is with a "new" friend, that perhaps a little separate room play may actually help everyone involved in terms of relaxing, and developing that sexual chemistry in the bedroom that is necessary for a wild night of sex. Not every couple or single male is the same in terms of needing the initial privacy (and perhaps some always need it), but if we play with this male again, I suggested that I watch TV for a while (sports center or a porno) while they go into the bedroom for a while, then when they are ready she'll invite me back into the bedroom and we can double team her like the originally intended.

Now I don't want to sound like a hypocrite, because earlier in a comment I responded to I may have come across a little arrogantly, but perhaps there is a need (especially the first time) where each person needs to focus exclusively on the other sexual partner. Whereas if she's trying to split her attention, or he's sensitive or distracted by me (male), then giving my wife and her new partner a period of adjustment sex is the recipe to better chemistry.

My "Eyes" were not wide shut at this party!

2010-03-02T22:50:00.000-08:00

We were invited to a "Eyes Wide Shut" party this last Saturday evening. We knew the couple hosting, but hadn't been to one of their party's in sometime. They have created a company called UtahUncensored.com, and we were impressed by the number of sexy looking couples.

This particular party was met mostly for couples who were pretty comfortable with the lifestyle. The expectation of course was that there would be a number of naked people, and sure enough...

So we arrived about 10:00 PM, just when the Jazz game was ending in downtown Salt Lake. We found the location and noticed that it was located in a small store front with a spa/massage sign. The bouncer wouldn't open the door until he could identify us, and up we went.

D & L are both awesome hosts. Little D is well known in the Salt Lake lifestyle scene, and my wife has a huge crush on her hulk of a husband. He's about 6-0 feet with an Adonis chest, African-American, and I like to call him the "Rifleman" because those whom understand the nickname need not ask more. We really didn't know many of the people at the party other then the hosts, and unfortunately due to the low lights and masks, this made it doubly hard.

The club/spa consisted of two pretty big rooms, with numerous other side rooms with massage beds. This was perfect for this party, and it didn't take long before many of the rooms were being used. In one of the main rooms was a Sybian, which our host "D" was happy to introduce to various ladies as they joined the party. After a couple drinks my wife was ready to try it, and it didn't disappoint, though she later admitted that the REAL thing was much better. She did admit though that she would have liked a thicker attachment, I think the host had the smaller attachment on to accommodate as many woman as possible.

The party continued on after a little Symbian fun, a number of couples paired off and retired to various rooms, and there was one couple that liked the exhibition of fucking in front of others and put on a sexy show. Unfortunately we wished we knew more of the couples at this particular party, but we didn't want to lose out on the sexy atmosphere ourselves, so soon we retired to one of the side rooms. I gave Mrs ABC some oral attention, which she enjoyed greatly. This was an accomplishment for me, because for years I thought my wife didn't like oral that much, turned out I wasn't that good at it yet. Thanks to our friend in Las Vegas in an earlier post, I've been IMPROVING quickly in my own oral techniques. She then returned the favor, and after I came we cleaned up and left the party. We didn't even realize how log we'd been there, for it was already 1:30 in the morning.

Good - Sexy couples, Sexy Location, Great hosts

Bad - Too dark and masks made it difficult to get to know other couples, needed some type of unifying game or group activity. Symbian activity was kind of nice, but missed a fun opportunity to create more mystery with a "eyes wideshut" game.

I think we'd go again, but I'd like to know some of the couples before do attend. Makes it easier to network especially in noisy or darkly lit events.

Valentines Eve Party - Leather and Lace

2010-02-14T22:20:00.000-08:00

continued .....

After sleeping in Saturday morning, we enjoyed the afternoon and eventually prepared for the big party we were planning for the past month. The group that puts this on is a friend of ours, who is in the middle of creating a new type of "party company" called "FANTASYERS". Basically there is a need in our community for a swing club. The problem is that most swing clubs are to difficult to set up due to Utah's draconian liquor laws. You can't have people get naked and drink in the same location, and so it's very difficult to throw these party's together unless you have them at private residences.

Well luckily for my friend, another friend of his had just finished his new home, and offered his house up for the party. Not something I'd volunteer every time on my end, these party's can be brutal on furniture and floors. But we appreciated the fact he allowed us to use his fantastic home for this event.

Anyway, 31 couples showed up, and there was a wide mix of ages, from mid 20's to mid 50's. Most though were in pretty good shape, and my friend has been very selective in terms of who's invited to these party's. Now he's not going to ban someone from his party who maybe a little over weight. I guess swinging can bring many different types together whom normally would not associate or party together. Personally I treat everyone mainly the same, my only pet peeve is chain smokers (can't stand the smell), but it's my friends money and his party, so he can do what he wants.

This particular crowd was a little conservative at first, but after a few drinks the party began to heat up quickly. From one woman who disregarded her negligee after only the first hour, to the upstairs play room quickly becoming a sexual sauna (his heater was working to well). We even had two gorgeous ladies doing a strip tease in the master bathroom on the marble jetted tub. Let's just say everyone had a fantastic time at this party including my wife and myself.

Now if you read my last post about the unexpected couple and Couple X. We'll both happened to show up at the party that night as well. But this time Couple X made sure we were made aware that their interest was in ourselves, and later that night we all got to have some fun in various nooks and crannies of the home. Mr X got a nice blowjob in the garage behind the host's boat. And I received a nice blowjob in the master closet! Nice carpet by the way.

We also met several other cool couples, and plan on partying with a few more of them soon. We like these type of big house party's because it really allows you to meet people in a way where they really let their hair down. One other person who really liked my wife was our host's friend. He was the only single male at the party, and for obvious reasons we were all okay with that. But he's probably in his mid-50's, stays in excellent shape and is just a really cool guy. Anyway, my wife told me later how she "reeled him in"....Damn, I've helped create a "monster"...

Actually it's amazing to see the transformation in my wife in the past two years. She used to be a shy little mormon housewife, who hated party's and crowds. Now she's one of the more popular girls at our lifestyle party's (maybe the fact she's a redhead and gorgeous helps as well), but I've also noticed now in vanilla situations that she is much more self assured.

Well this next weekend should be allot slower, we may have a rendevouz with Mr Big, but it's unconfirmed as of yet. I know he's been sending me text's and my wife that he really wants to get with us again. So perhaps we'll have another story to tell next week.

Valentines Weekend.... Love and Lust....or Lust and Love.....

2010-02-14T21:56:00.000-08:00

It's been a few weeks since I posted, but life tends to do that to us sometimes. We've been busy with work, getting kids to school, homework, and the other odds and ends of normal life. We've been able to get out to a club once or twice in the past few weeks, but this weekend was the first time where we knew we'd be involved in some "real" fun party's.

Thursday night I received a text from our Glory Hole friends that they wanted to put on another impromptu get together at a hotel, and wondered if we'd be available the next evening. We said sure, and they confirmed later the next day. As these things sometimes go though, half the people you invite have something come up at the last minute, the other half come late, or someone you don't expect shows up. All the above scenario's occurred that night, and we ended up in a short MFM, and finally met the couple we were looking forward to meeting, but it was so late that my poor wife had to get home before passing out completely from exhaustion.

About 1:30 in the morning we finally got out of there, and my poor wife had been up sense 4 AM the previous day. We really wanted to get out of the motel by midnight, but our new friends didn't even get there until midnight. All was not lost though, our buddy Fred (not his real name) enjoyed giving my wife a wonderful oral session that was on par with our new friend in Las Vegas. Then I joined in and my wife and I began fucking while Fred watched and the "uninvited" couple showed up. This can be somewhat of a buzz kill, your pants are down on the floor, giving it all you got and someone you don't know well is staring at you and the Mrs going at it on the bed. Well, we finished up quickly and threw on a couple things after saying hello to the new couple.

To make a long story short, after an hour long conversation with the Buzz kill couple, the couple we wanted to meet finally arrived (Couple X). What we didn't know before hand was that Buzz kill and Couple X had been together sexually in the past. So Buzz Kill found out from Couple X that they were meeting us and just happened to show up. I think some of you may see where this is going, but Buzz Kill (the lady) was really threatened by my wife we later decided after some thoughtful consideration and when clothes were just starting to come off she quickly jumped on top of the male half of Couple X, even though I could clearly see interest in hooking up with my wife.

So at this point due to my wife's overwhelming fatigue and the fact we both felt a little uncomfortable we called it a night. Told the other couples about my wife's lack of sleep and we were in bed by 2AM. Late nights and little sleep are not a big deal to me, but another thing for my wife.

(to be continued....)

Las Vegas Part Deux

2010-01-23T11:32:00.000-08:00

When we got to our hotel, we decided that the first night was just for us. (she and I) We both wanted one night that was exclusive for just ourselves, and then on the preceding night we'd see what happens. I remembered before our trip seeing a website called AmericanLowLife.com. It's a great place to find "instant" hookups for those out of town or locals. I put a profile up the night before we left on our trip, and by the second day of our trip I had received a number of interested party's. Unfortunately not many were couples, but as the reader knows, single guys are cool in most cases.

We'll after my wife got a good nap that afternoon, we later hit a nice restaurant, and meandered over to the Casino where we agreed to meet our new friend. He showed up on time and was really cool guy. We went to a casino club/bar to get to know one another better, and after a drink or two they were both grinding each other on the dance floor. With a affirmative nod after one of these dance numbers, we were soon getting a ride back to our hotel from our new friend.

Well one of the things it said in his profile was that he was "great" with his tongue. We've heard that a number of times in the past, and my wife has not been impressed (including myself) with anyone in regards to tongue play. So I wasn't sure how this guy would impress her, but my fears were soon put to rest. After 10 minutes I began to think, well maybe this guy is good. After 30 minutes I knew he was good. After 45 minutes and many "Oh my God's", I knew he was great!

At this point my wife was so turned on, and after a 3 hour fuck session he finally left. The smile on my wife's face was classic, and next time we're down in Vegas this single guys number is the first one we call.

Vegas Part I

2010-01-23T11:14:00.000-08:00

You'd think that two nights in Vegas are far to few. And perhaps your right in that assessment. I personally could have used a couple more, but we did pack in allot in the 3 days and 2 nights we were in Las Vegas, city of Sin!

We traveled down on last week by car, spent the time listening to an audio book about social mixers and how to excel at them. Then the final hour we listened to episode 70 of Swingercast. If you haven't heard John and Ally of Swingercast, then you should! It's like listening to a verbal blog of their swinging experiences, one that my wife and I rarely miss. So by the time we got to hour hotel we were both pretty excited.

That first night we did what most couples do. Found a good show to attend at one of the Casino's, then before the show we found some grub at a great buffet. Paris Resort and Casino Rocks!! Then we had about an hour to kill before our show and I demonstrated the fine art of getting liquor for free to my wife. We played video poker for that hour, tipped the bar tender nicely, and soon he was free pouring Crown Royal shots to my wife (3 of them I think..lol). We then attended the Anthony Cool hypnotist show, which I could write a whole blog post about - VERY COOL. My wife loved it because I volunteered to be a participant, and I must admit that Hypnotism works!!

Later that night, after more Crown, and a short trip to a strip club (Olypmic Gardens). My wife and I ended the night creating our own porn show. She was pretty drunk, but she wanted me to fuck her anally, and of course I had to comply. After another hour of intense G-spot stimulation and then another session of her riding me from the top, and we were both spent. She just passed out at the foot of the bed, and I was amazed at what a fun night we had.

Funny thing is that she remembered only fragments of the night after we got back to our room. Kind of sucked, due to the great sex we had, but oh well.

Heading to Vegas for the the next 3 days

2010-01-18T10:34:00.000-08:00

Wife and I are going to Vegas for some much needed R&R. Should be nice just the two of us for a few days, and we'll see what kind of trouble we can get into.

Just a quick update, celebrated my birthday recently. It was a milestone birthday and it was great celebrating with my many friends in and out of the lifestyle. Look forward to providing more sexy updates in the future. Will check in when in Vegas tomorrow evening.

Sex is pretty shallow if not in the company of someone you love

2010-01-07T09:12:00.000-08:00

Swinging is what one person described to me as a "Mind Fuck". Boy he wasn't far from the truth. So far we've been pretty lucky and had not any real emotional issues to deal with until the other night. Not something that is going to keep us from swinging, but something we have taken notice of and are addressing.

Well the other day I posted that my wife was going to go "solo" with our friend Mr Big on a date. Well this Tuesday it was finally possible. I noticed that things were a little "off" all day before she left. We had talked about it allot, and she was excited but a little apprehensive as well. I had struggled with a few of those feelings before as well, but it's tough sometimes to understand what they mean. If that was the case and I only relied on feelings, we would have never had our first experience in swinging. We also would not have owned a house, bought a car, probably got married, had kids, etc, etc..

Anyway, the date went well in terms of the physical side of the relationship. Mr Big did his best to impress her with a nice home cooked meal. He had the cam on his laptop working and I followed the sexual action on the my laptop at home. He really focused that night on anal play, and Mrs ABC said it was at times the most amazing thing she's experienced. I think Mr Big's girth helps in this case, though I think he hurt her once when initial penetrating her.

The thing that really sucked was the lack of sound! Usually on Yahoo Messenger you get sound, but in this case no sound at all. From what she told me later she was literally screaming in delight as he pounded her ass. Pretty cool, and I myself came twice watching as they fucked for over an hour and a half.

Couple warnings I failed to miss, but never again. I saw her look longingly at the cam a few times. She blew kisses me to as well. Later when he left the room for a minute to clean up, she mouthed a "I miss you". That of course is a little bitter sweet. I was enjoying one of my fantasy's being full-filled but I realized I also would have preferred being there with her.

So later that night when she got home, I was eager to fuck her. But she needed time to gather her thoughts, and at that point I got a little frustrated and hurt. I left the bedroom to gather my own feelings, then went back in to find out what was making her so upset. It took a few minutes, but then the flood gates opened. Basically she felt uneasy about the whole thing from the onset. She did want the experience of trying a new thing out, but even though she enjoyed the sex, and she likes Mr Big allot, the big issue was she missed me!

Now at this point I was feeling guilty but pleased as well. I also realized I was DAMN lucky to have such a great woman that could fuck another guy but be thinking about me all the way home. What we realized is that sometimes Fantasy's are not as good as we make them up in our minds. It's funny, a man's mind is logical most times, and so to me I was wondering "what's the difference, you fuck him in front of me or on cam". But a woman's mind is probably allot deeper then our testosterone laced brains. Her feeling was, "we do this for each other, and as a team....so when we're not both together, it is missing something important." She also made the observation, "Sex is pretty shallow if it's not enjoyed in the company of someone I love".

WOW!!! yes that came from my dear wife. So I promised her and we'll stick to this now. No "hall passes" and we'll even try to avoid separate room play if possible. Separate room play while at the same party or house isn't as big an issue, but I personally enjoy watching her having sex with others, so I am a little bummed when I'm not in the same room with her and another partner. She felt the same the other night when I had sex with another woman for the first time. So with the "no hall pass" rule, we're also going to suggest to other couples that we strongly favor SAME room play.

Oh and not to leave you hanging...we did have awesome sex that night, and we can't keep our hands off each other!! Communication is soooooo important!

Unexpected Orgy - Part II

2010-01-03T10:08:00.000-08:00

Now, just for informational purposes for the readers of this blog. We (ABC couple) have been involved in the lifestyle for 3 years, probably 8 months of that has been actually participating sexually in it. Now Mrs ABC has had a number of sexual partners, several times with me involved in a threesome, or separately in rooms with other men. But I've been only with two women, and the first experience wasn't that great due to my state of inebriation as I mentioned in an earlier post. Therefore technically I had not experienced a true swap with another partner. Well that ended last night!

My wife's new friend that night asked her if it would be okay to fuck (Mr ABC). The same girl my wife had text me about earlier. Well as soon as some of the other guests had left Mrs M approached me and asked me if I would like to go into the other room with her. I of course agreed, and we were soon kissing and groping each other in the other room. I noticed instantly that Mrs M was a gentle lover, due to her gentle kisses. But she did love the attention I gave her pussy, and soon she was moaning as I finger fucked her gently and then with more abandon. Soon we were both on the bed, and we were kissing and fondling each other. She then pushed me over on my back and began giving me a blow job. Soon she had a condom out and wanted to mount my cock. But she was extremely tight and dry from previous condom use. She then went into the other room for lube and soon we were at it again. This time we 69'd for a period of time, I had the opportunity to suck and lick her nice tasting pussy, and then she couldn't take it anymore and mounted my cock.

Having your cock in a new pussy is pretty cool! Those guys who claim "what's the big deal", okay for all relative purposes they are the same in some ways, usually tight, warm, and encompassing. But each one has nuances that are different, not unlike most men's cocks. Anyway just the very thought I was in foreign pussy was an overwhelming experience. Unfortunately I didn't last that long, and within a few minutes I was cumming hard!

At this point we collapsed into each other in exhaustion, continuing to kiss and we talked for a bit. But then I could hear my wife moaning loudly in the other room and of course like a moth to a light I was wanted to see what was happening. Walking into the other room there was a full blown orgy going on. Two other couples (my wife included) were fucking. It's a hot thing to walk into a bedroom and see your wife on all fours with a guy buried in her pussy with his cock.

This continued for some time, multiple switches, multiple partners. Condoms were being used like candy, and I think each guy came at least once. There was even some lady action, and later my wife admitted that some of it was fun, but she just didn't get into her pussy being licked that much. But never the less it was hot action and everyone had a great time.

Anyway what a night and another late evening/morning..... What a Christmas/New Years Holiday and a good start to 2010!!

Unexpected Orgy - Part I

2010-01-03T09:50:00.000-08:00

The lifestyle can open the door to many different and exciting possibility(s). So it's Saturday morning and I'm perusing my emails. I then came across a email discussing a party that night with an odd twist. This seemed intriguing, but with little advance notice I wondered if my wife would be game. But I'm a persuasive individual and lucky for me a free meal coupon arrived in the mail for one of our favorite restaurants.

After a fantastic dinner with my beautiful Mrs ABC, we then drove to the party location. We knew several of the attendee's, but there were a few new people there as well. At this point we all mingled as we waited for more couples to arrive. This particular party had a unique twist, the host had set up a blanket between one of the bedrooms and the living room. In the center (lower center) there was a "hole" that was created for the men to stick their cocks through. Yes, some of you know it as a Glory Hole.

From what I've researched, Glory Holes are popular due to the notion of anonymous sex with others. But in reality our even was not so anonymous. Which in some ways was more reassuring knowing the participants, because the "back of the adult bookstore" version is much more unsettling. There were condoms and dental guards available, and clear instructions on how it would work were given to the ladies and men who were their at the party.

When all the ladies were behind the curtain in the other room, we were told they were ready for the action to start. It took a while before anyone was willing to approach the curtain, kind of intimidating with a bunch of other guys watching you up at the divider. The first guy wasn't up their very long, but my wife told me that he came really quickly squirting all over her and another lady who was assisting. Well after this guy finished, no one else jumped up to take his place, so to continue the momentum I stood and approached the curtain. Sticking your cock into the unknown is never a inviting prospect, but knowing there were soft feminine hands and mouths waiting is a turn on of course. Soon I enjoyed the warm pleasures of that experience, feeling my cock stroked and enveloped by warm mouths. I stood at the curtain for a while, but not wanting to cum yet I moved aside to allow others.

This continued for a time, I had one more turn at the curtain and enjoyed the pleasure of the curtain for some time. Later I found out that three different women, several at once were enjoying my cock. Again I avoided cumming, and I noticed that many of the guys were getting into it at that point. But the poor ladies behind the curtain wanted a break, and then also notified us that they'd like several of the single guys in attendance to go home. I also receive text from the other side of the curtain that one of the other wives was interested in fucking me that night, but face to face.

Well how do you say no to that....The real fun began shortly after we asked the single guys to move on......
See Part II

Happy New Year - I'm sure this has happened to you before....

2010-01-02T08:34:00.000-08:00

First of all, it's now 2010, and I'm excited to post the first blog of the new year. Happy New Year to those reading this blog, and I look forward to reporting our experiences in the lifestyle in 2010. It doesn't look like we're close to stopping anytime soon!

So last night we attended a party at a local friends house. We've been to one of their party's before and technically they are not swingers, but they don't mind if Swingers come to their home. Nice house and it's usually some pretty fun times. In fact this was the house where my wife had her fun with one of our good friends while I talked to his wife about her medical issues. Anyway, she had told me before the party that she didn't expect any fireworks at the party. ( I chuckled...)

When we arrived at 9 PM, not many people were there yet. I got the party started with some nice Brazilian Lemonade (with a kick), and soon I became the most popular man at the party. Not a bad strategy, and I will be looking and creating some other fine concoctions in the future. People began arriving, and soon I was introduced to a nice couple whom I bonded with the (female) righ away. There were a number of non-swingers or Vanilla's at the party, and two single guys were visiting from out of town, and one of them was very interesting to my wife. He was about 6-4, good shape, and according to my wife a very sensual kisser. As you can see, there was a hookup possibility for her and she didn't even expect it.

The party continued until midnight, we all rang in the new year. Everyone began kissing each other (very nice way to get things going). Because this was a swinger/vanilla party, there was NO pda's allowed in the main area of the house. PDA in the host's book was any nudity or sexual favors being distributed in the open. The host did have two bedrooms for any extra curricular activity, and so expected those encounters to be conducted in private. LOL...don't invite swingers then!!!

My wife and I are always respectful, so this is not an issue to us. But things for going well for my wife and her new friend. I found myself shortly after midnight again talking to my new friend as well, but I didn't expect much because her husband was hanging around us most of the night. During our conversation, my wife gave me a quick report about her going downstairs with her new friend. I of course wasn't concerned, and a little while later she warned me that some extra curricular stuff was going on down stairs in the WRONG room. Oh and would I mind if she and her new friend had some fun. I of course was engaged in the conversation at that moment with my new friend, so I gave it little thought and offered her a condom I had in my wallet and told her "have fun".

About an hour later I was down stairs where the room's were talking to some more friends, and all of a sudden I saw her "new friend" with an intense look of concern on his face, run up the stairs and then in a few minutes come back down. He went back into the room with my wife, so I assume it was to continue. Later I found out the humorous story.

Later as we departed the party she told me what happened. So she and this tall guy (her new friend) hit it off, he was "very tall" as she put it. But he was also in really good shape, looked like he worked out allot, and I think he was about 32 or 33 years old (close to her age). When they had gone down stairs originally, they ended up in the theater room of this house. The theater room is usually pretty dark and has long couches and love seats. Anyway they made out for some time in this room, she said he was a real sensuous kisser (and He knew it..she said). She said that she could tell he was a single guy not used to things developing quickly because all he would do is kiss, kiss, kiss. Things were getting a little more heated, but the rules in the "house" were no getting naked except in two rooms. Well some of the other guests were not exactly following this rule and the hosts wife walked into the room and was shocked to see another guest and their date spread eagle naked on the floor going at it. Well this of course convinced my wife it was time to get a room herself and thats when she came upstairs to ask me if it was okay to take it to the next level.

So they then got a room and she said that this is where the "fun" began. So they continued making out, and then she moved it up a notch by going down on his cock. He liked that and demonstrated his kissing skills on her pussy and she started to enjoy that as well. He also tried to offer some finger play, but most guys are not that patient and therefore didn't do much for her. Things continued to move along and at that point she thought "well let's fuck". So he attempted to mount him from the top and noticed that his erection was gone. So she tried to revive his flagging cock and had some success, but he couldn't maintain it. So with one condom wasted he assured her that he could "Go all night!", and that he'd rectify the issue but he needed some water. So that's when I saw him racing up stairs and later I found out that he had bummed a number of condoms from his buddy that came to the party with him.

So now round two, and it didn't end up any better then round one. He finally admitted that one of the girls that came to the party gave him (2) lortabs, not sure what dosage but enough mixed with the alcohol to cause problems. That's the problem when you hook up with Non-Swingers - they are dumb as shit! You don't mix two downers and expect your dick to function properly. So I guess he took it pretty hard, and one of the other side affects of lortab and alcohol can be mild depression. I guess the rest of the night the guy kind of hid out on the outside patio and didn't look very happy at all. I actually do feel for the guy and Mrs ABC sounded a little pissed as well. Later she kind of regretted getting swept up in the moment a little bit, but I assured her that there were no worries on my end.

Yes, I would have liked to be the one to ring in the new year with her, but due to circumstances and lots of alcohol I was not even going to try for a while. Second, it was kind of sudden with this guy, normally she'll talk to a guy allot longer before allowing him that type of access. I of course take the job of being her "guardian" seriously and was even a little concerned myself. So in the future I'm going to do a bit better job screening who she's warming up to, and she said that she'd keep things going more slowly until I was aware of what was going on.

We of course rang in the New Year a little later, and man it was some hot intense sex! Let's just say we used her giant dildo in her ass, and I fucked her from the front. She came and came and came! Happy New year everyone!

Date - Rain Check!!! or Snow Check!

2009-12-30T23:09:00.000-08:00

My wife's date was canceled due to the weather! Yes, indeed, 4 inches of snow on the freeway was not worth the risk, so her date has been postponed. But this didn't stop us from having some fun anyway.

So I made some Brazillian Lemonaid's with a kick.

2 limes - ends cut off, cut into 1/8 sections
3 tbs - sweet condensed milk
1/2 cup - sugar
3 cups of water
Ice

I substitute 1 cup of water with Vodka!

Blend ingredients (all of the lime) in blender....strain out pulp and rind.
Makes 4x8 oz drinks.

Let's just say it was a fun way to heat up a "Cold" night. Then of course we had allot of fun, Mrs ABC gave me a A plus hummer, and I of course delighted her with some extended finger play. Mr Big got on yahoo chat with us and watched us finish up the night with me banging my pretty little wife from behind.

I didn't realize online "sex" could be so fun, but it's not that bad actually. Not like the real thing of course, but it's kind of cool knowing someone miles away is watching you in some of the most intimate of situations.

Wife is going on a date tomorrow

2009-12-28T23:33:00.000-08:00

Okay, new experience for us both tomorrow. After allot of talk, consideration, communication, we're going to try something once and see how it goes. We've seen our buddy Mr Big a few times, and now she wants to try it once solo with Mr Big.

So tomorrow they're going to go grab some dinner and then "fuck". A couple of things though we've added for peace of mind and also for excitement factor. He's going to turn on his laptop when she's at his house, and they are going to send me the video feed on my laptop. So I get to watch it live, which should be really hot.

Due to our past communication, I'm not jealous at all in regards to this date. I've been a little apprehensive about his sexual history, but after further discussions with Mr Bigg's we feel allot better ( I know your chuckling and saying..now your worried...lol). Mrs ABC was a little worried because every past time she's been with someone she's known I've been in the same vicinity. So tomorrow night was worrying her a little. I totally gave her the green light to back out of it, but also was honest with her about what I thought about Mr Big, and frankly he's been nothing but considerate to both our feelings.

So in two days I'll give a much more detailed account of Mrs ABC's side of the story and her date.

Double Trouble!

2009-12-20T14:36:00.000-08:00

It's been a few days, but last Tuesday night was a fun one. I arranged for a surprise night stay at a local hotel for my wife, myself and her new lover "Mr Big". So the day of the surprise, I began sending her mysterious text messages while she was at work. At first she did not figure it out, but got to give her credit, she's pretty sharp and by the time she joined me at the hotel that afternoon she had figured in all out.

We arrived earlier then Mr Big, and so we started dinner early. He arrived after we had ordered, and was dressed to the nines to impress Mrs ABC. Which she now thinks is one of the highlights of the evening. Mr Bigg had a dapper coat and dress shirt on, with nice black slacks. So we at our dinner together, Mrs ABC ,sitting in the middle between the two men. Then we got a drink in the nightclub attached to the restaurant, and Mrs ABC played with both of us under the table as she had her drink. We could of course not wait to get back down to our room, and soon we were on our way.

I bought a new sexy nightie for Mrs ABC, a shear black top that showed off her nice breasts, and a nice panties that left not much to the imagination. Well it didn't take long, and Mr Big and Mrs ABC were making out and he had her soon pressed against the wall. The then moved into the middle of the room, and I sandwiched her between Mr Big, and we began to undress her. Soon we were all naked, with her switching from one cock to the other. I began fingering her hot and wet cunt, and could feel her Gspot hardening as her pussy got wetter and wetter in anticipation of Mr Big's enormous cock. She turned back around to kiss Mr Bigg, and he then pressed her up against the wall in our room, and inserted his large penis into her hot encompassing hole.

He then began jacking his cock into her, and she put her arms around him, and the he plunged deeply into her pussy while grasping her legs and lifting her until she straddled him with her legs. Then he began rocking her up an down in his arms while he filled her completely. She moaned and I could tell this was a super turn on to her. Meanwhile I was taking pictures as quickly as I could.

This position can be very tiring, and soon he needed a break. So at this point I began making out with Mrs ABC, and I was ready for some action myself. Soon I had my cock buried in her now HOT and very wet pussy. I had laid down on the nearest bed, and she was riding my cowboy style. At this point Mr Big came up behind her and soon I heard her gasp and could feel him squeezing into her pussy right next to me. She couldn't believe how good it felt and soon was thrashing up and down on me, while he gently pumped her from behind. It actually was a turn on to me as well, I didn't really notice him until his balls slapped mine, that kind of freaked me out a little, but the intense tightness of her pussy, and the very idea of what was happening sent me over the edge. I had done fairly well, but this was too much and I came inside her pussy while he was in her as well.

At this point they continued to fuck while I recovered. Luckily it didn't take me very long. The rest of the night he and I took turns fucking her. First he'd go for a while, then I'd go for a while, culminating with him cumming in her mouth and her swallowing. (she doesn't even do that for me!).

After Mr Big left, she wanted to FUCK some more. She was so turned on, and wanted me to make her squirt for a few minutes. This I gladly obliged her with, and soon she was spraying all over my hand and the bed. A few minutes later she had a massive orgasm, and we both had a great nights sleep. The next morning though I was still horny as hell, and of course had to fuck her once again for good measure. Her pussy was still incredibly hot and wet from the previous night.

She's still thinking about the other night, and the text messages with Mr Big are pretty hot. Nothing emotional, just more texts about how hot her pussy is, or how much he would like to fuck her again. Christmas is coming soon though, so it's going to be difficult for our schedules to work out for a while. But until then, I'm sure Mr Big will keep Mrs ABC anticipating our next get together.

Holy "Boner" this stuff is great!!

2009-12-16T21:08:00.000-08:00

I'm a 40 year old male a little padding, and I've noticed a remarked decrease in the total number of erections that I have each day. Usually it's in the morning, but nothing like when I was a teenager. In those days the wind would blow and I'd pop a woody. Lately it's required allot of stimulation both visual and hands on which my wife is happy to supply. I've not had a problem with getting it going, but having a second orgasm in a marathon sex session has not been an option. Viagra can sometimes help me with that issue, but most times it's one climax and I'm done.

Well guys and (gals), those days are OVER. Holy shit is all I can say after taking this new product by Myogenix. They are well known for their weight training products so this one came as a surprise. A friend of mine heard that I had a prescription for Viagra and so he called me wondering how much they were. Then he told me about this product and suggested I give it a try. Now I have an heart arrythmia on occasion, so new stim's or herbals I have to be careful of in regards to side effects. So naturally I take half the recommended dose and then see what happens.

Well the first time I tried it, I didn't even know how I was to take it. So I didn't take it on an empty stomach, I also had a few drinks of alcohol in me, and I didn't drink allot of water like the Myogenix website suggests. Anyway, it didn't seem to do that much that night, but to be fair I took it only 20 minutes before the action. But the next day I began seeing the results and that next evening I fucked my wife pretty good.

But then last night I took it for the second time. All I can say is HOLY SHIT! In less then 24 hours I've fucked her multiple times, and get boners at the most ridiculous times! I even think about sex and it's hard! It's like being 20 something all over again.

Last night we were enjoying the company of our new friend again, Mr Big, but I'd have to admit that this time I was showing off myself. I HIGHLY recommend this product at this point. Every ingredient in the product is natural, and I've looked up every ingredient due to my issue with the arrythmia and for now have not seen any problems.

Something to consider though. I did get joint aches and some thigh pains the following day after taking the product. I've read that some men get head aches. This is usually due to not drinking enough water and I'm not sure why. When I find out I will post additional information in regards to this issue. I've taken Advil and it has helped in terms of the pain. But please with any supplement, investigate it as closely as you can. I'd also suggest that you try half the recommended dosage the first time and increase when you feel comfortable.

I'm not kidding, my hard on's were RIGID.. I had no issue keeping them either, and if your having any issue with confidence this product is for you.

Which is worse ? Adultery or an Affair?

2009-12-11T09:22:00.000-08:00

Had a conversation with a close friend about this subject, and after a little research on the internet, I've come to realize that their is a big difference between Adultery and what is most often called an Affair.

As a swinger one can often have thoughts, "Am I going to Hell"?, or "Am I'm no better then Tiger Woods". I hear all the time this phrase in our community, "well we both know about it, so its not adultery". I guess the real question is what is Adultery and what is an affair.

Adultery - is sexual relations outside of marriage, in one form or another. It's that basic, and pretty much covers any sex with another partner outside marriage. Now the fun begins, what acts are considered sexual acts, and that's where the attorney's come into play because it's pretty much different in every country and state in the US. But for the sake of time, our definition is the one in regards to No sexual relations outside of the marriage.

Affair - A romantic affair, also called an affair of the heart, may refer to sexual liaisons among unwed parties, or to various forms of nonmonogamy. Ah-Hah, your thinking that they are one and the same. But then let's look at the type of affairs. But what about situations where it's casual sexual relations and their is very little emotional involvement or attachment between either party?

Let's just cut through the bull right now. Swinging is technically adultery, so for those fooling themselves that they are obeying the local churches precepts, you can end that foolery right now. Your just going to have to come to terms with your religious or cultural biases. If it's simply not an option, then eventually the lifestyle and swinging may not be for you. I personally have drifted to the feeling that most religion is man made, many of the "commandments" that we develop in religious environments are basically common sense rules for society in general. Laws against adultery were created for inheritance and other legal issues surrounding reproduction and sexual relationships. Think about it in general, if everyone lived in "open" marriages, then who get's the family heirlooms would be a difficult if not impossible task to determine!

But is Swinging on par to having an affair? Affairs can be much different in scope then "Open" sexual unions. Infidelity rears it's ugly head in cases where the marriage between the primary partners is "broken". Either through neglect, lack of communication, or feelings of misunderstanding, a marriage can often jump off the tracks and one of the party's finds what they "NEED" in the arms of another. Usually this is done in secret, without the knowledge of the other party. This is where the divorce attorney's get involved and most marriages end.

This is why swinging and bad marriages do not mix! This is like setting a fire in a saw dust filled lumber mill. It is almost guaranteed to end in misery. She feels that your more into work then her, she meets a guy who is all over her, texts her, is in a terrible marriage themselves. They bond over a few play sessions, and the sex and the problems in your relationship are exacerbated and soon she's moving in with the other guy or (woman!)

Even good marriages can be challenged in the Lifestyle. One thing that my wife and I do each time we play is what we call "reconnect". Until all emotional feelings are discussed and communicated between one another, resumption of play will not continue with any outside partners until we both feel 100% satisfied that our primary relationship is secure. Sometimes it can take one day, sometimes it can take weeks.

The other tip or advice I can bequeath through personal experience. Many relationships in the Lifestyle are based on trust. It's pretty much all you have and when it's lost then it's time to reevaluate your relationship to Swinging. So if you and your primary partner have RULES then you MUST abide by them. However, you also must realize, if you make allot of rules then you or your partner may break one from time to time. The RULES themselves are not as important is the COMMUNICATION between one another. Look to error is human! And those who think you can look at Swinging as some game like Monopoly are in for a big surprise. It can be one of the more rewarding experiences that partners can share with on another, but it can also be a nightmare.

So in summary, Adultery and Affairs can be good or bad in the framework of swinging. The key is how you define what an affair is. Is it an open and approved affair, or is it "cheating" or "dishonesty". Personally I don't even use these words anymore, I instead of look at it is being "honest" or "dishonest" with my partner.

Squirting can be a fun water sport!

2009-12-06T11:57:00.001-08:00

We had a fun night the other night with a single male, and one highlight was something that my wife and I have just started to enjoy in the past couple months. Recently I watched a video which I've posted below, that discusses the many finer points on how to make your lady squirt.

Years ago, when we were first married, we were having some pretty intense sex. She was riding me cowboy, and I could feel her cum. But this time I felt a incredibly warm flush all over my cock and abdomen, and then she got really embarrassed. She thought she had peed, and I think until just recently she always held back when she felt that feeling again.

So here is the video that changed my mind in regards to squirting, and I'll give you and idea of what I do after you watch it.

Find more videos like this on video.filestube.com.

Okay, now that you've watched the video, I've found many of his techniques very useful. We do not use all the techniques though, and with my wife I can get her into a squirting mood very quickly.

#1 Make sure you have a towel close at hand, or your going to have a giant wet spot on your bed.

#2 Make sure you thoroughly clean your hands, and make sure you file any rough spots from your fingernails. I'd also suggest a good bottle of lube to start out with, because depending on your lady it can be kind of dry at first.

#3 Start slowly! Do what you like to do first, if she likes blowing you then go for it. But as to the finger fucking, I'd use one finger then two, and give her clit allot of attention as well. In other words your priming the pump (literally).

#4 After some good foreplay, I then take my middle two fingers and like demonstrated on the video, insert them and hook them towards the wall of the vagina. I then find my a semi large button (or spongy mass). At this point it could still be soft, but you can find it easily, because it's the only thing different then the wall of the vagina. I then find the middle of the mass, and locate the skene glands, which are on either side of her urethral gland. I then lightly manipulate my fingers against the gland, pressing harder and harder as I increase the stimulation. She should be moaning and pressing against your hand if your doing it right, and at this point make sure you don't go overboard and push to hard.

#5 At a certain point she will feel the urge to bear down or pee. That's normal, and you should assure her with calm words that she's doing great. Also remember to not smother the skene glads with your fingers, when she does begin squirting you need to release the pressure so the drenching can begin.

It's just a matter of practice, and you'll soon have her squirting. We've gotten to the point that we can have a series of successive squirting orgasms. I warn you that she will never be the same, and if she starts crying it's not because she doesn't like it. Just be sensitive my friend and later you'll get the best (what ever your heart desires) from her, I can almost guarantee it!

Does size matter...Tonight it did!

2009-12-05T00:11:00.000-08:00

It's been a while, we've had a number of recent family issues, plus Thanksgiving, so our "swinging" has been put on hold until tonight. We've been to a number of party's, so tonight's activity was a pleasant surprise.

Over the past few weeks, my wife has become interested in a single guy. We have a rule, if she becomes interested she always run's him past me, and I give the thumbs up or thumbs down. This gentleman we will call Mr Big, contacted us on Chat, and over the past two weeks my wife and he have been flirting. I like to take a direct role in any negotiations in terms of a meeting and possible sex, and I found Mr Big to be a perfect gentleman.

So about three days ago, we both agreed that tonight would be a good night to get together. We planned on meeting at a local restaurant close to his home, and then taking the party to his house. We have 5 children, so it makes it a difficult process to have guests at our house. Anyway, we had a long discussion about rules and what type of things we enjoy in a typical MFM, and all three of us then were excited to meet tonight.

One thing I noticed when we were getting ready tonight, my wife spent a little extra time getting ready for the night. This is usually a sign she's excited, and this ramped up my excitement level as well. Nothing more exciting then watching my wife get pounded by some guy. This particular guy had shown us a few pictures of himself, and we were both blown away for reasons I'll talk about below.

So we arrive at the restaurant, and have a nice dinner with Mr Big. I'm a natural salesmen, so making people comfortable comes naturally to me. But I also temper it a little because getting the connection going between my wife and the other male is important as well. We all ate our dinners a little faster then normal, and by common agreement we agreed to take the party to Mr Big's house. Normally I like my wife and Mr Big's to connect by themselves a little, so I suggested to my wife that she ride to the house with him, and I'd follow close behind in the other car.

Mr Big has a nice home, and we soon were being treated to one of the best margarita's I've had in some time. I had purposely not had much to drink, and I noticed Mr Big had been cautious as well. There was going to be some serious fucking going on soon, and I think we were all aware of it. After a drink we wandered down to his bachelor room, which I later renamed the "Mr Big's Sex Cave".

I think Mr Big was a little nervous, my wife is somewhat younger then who he's used to dating, and she's very hot! I understand his feeling totally, I know I can be a little intimidated as well with hot women as well. But to his defense, he was not timid in the sack, as my little darling was going to find out.

As we've experienced before, the chit chat get's a little suggestive, and I suggested to Mr Big that he give my wife a much needed shoulder massage. Mr Big of course obliged, but instead of massaging he went directly to kissing my wife's bare neck. My wife has gorgeous red hair and a sexy long neck. She loves getting kissed on the neck and Mr Big started slowly kissing and then caressing her from behind. He of course wasted no time playing with my wife's very nice breasts, and soon clothes were coming off quickly. Meanwhile I shed some of my clothes and settled in for a while to enjoy the show.

So at this point my wife was naked except for her thong. Then she demanded to see more of Mr Big, which he happily agreed to comply. I wish I had a camera at that moment, because my wife's eyes bugged out when out popped Mr Big's enormously large cock. We've been with a number of gentlemen in the past, but this guy literally took her breath away. What I wanted to take a picture of was the hungry look on her face as she quickly grabbed his cock. She wasted no time in taking in his cock in her mouth, and Mr Bigs was soon enjoying one hell of a blow job.

Mrs ABC continued to give Mr Bigs a great blow job, at one point I did start to wonder if she was having more fun then him though. She just loved his cock, which made me chuckle and I'm sure he didn't mind at all. Eventually he suggested they switch and he would go down on her. She liked that idea and flipped over for him, soon Mr Big was making her arch her back, and her face said it all...pure bliss! Now my wife get's to a point usually during foreplay that is the "let's just fuck" moment. She likes foreplay, but enjoys fucking so much more.

Now I needed that damn camera again, because that picture would have been worth a million words if I could have taken it. Mr Big's then got on his back and told Mrs ABC to climb on board. She didn't have to have an engraved invitation, and she then "moaned" as she maneuvered his cock into her sopping wet pussy. Her face is what I wished I could film, her eyebrows scrunched down as her mouth puckered outward, and her eyes bore into me on the chair by the bed as I took in the whole moment. Then she began moving on his massive cock, and I could tell that she really enjoyed each second. Now personally I'm not a small guy in terms of my cock. Technically I'm as long as Mr Big, but I'm only half the width of this guy. So you ladies who read this can imagine how FULL she must have felt at that moment!

For the first 10 minutes of intercourse she rode that beefy pony. I thought she may orgasm, but she kept on going and going. It was so hot, and at this point I began stroking my engorged hard on. Meanwhile they switched positions, with Mrs ABC on the bottom and Mr Big's pounding her from the top. He really buried his meat in her at this point, and Mrs ABC dreamily looked up into Mr Big's eyes and you could hear her grunt loudly each time he pounded her into the mattress.

At this point I couldn't wait any longer, and Mrs ABC had her head close to the edge of the bed, and for a minute she sucked my cock. Which of course was awesome as I Mr Big's continued his frontal assault. One thing I didn't tell you and personally I don't think it's that big a deal, but Mr Big's is a few years older then me, and I'm hitting the 40 mark in the next month. At this juncture he had been working really hard, so while he took a short breather I got on the bed and she began sucking me. I noticed that this was turning on Mr Big's again, and soon he was behind my wife and she was making a number of interesting noises as he began to finger her anus, and then she gasped as he slipped his now hard again cock. So he began pounding her doggy style and she was sucking my cock at the same time...can we say AMAZING!!

But it was a little too much for me, and soon I was blowing my wad. I quickly moved off the bed and continued to watch the action again from the side. Again, Mr Big was exerting allot of energy and after a few more minutes of attempting to make her cum, he decided he needed some water. At this point I quietly asked her if she was close to cumming yet and she told me "nope". She wanted me to do my thing with my fingers, so happily I obliged. Now I'm pretty good with my fingers, I've done allot of research and hands on practice with a couple techniques that I've mastered, and soon I had her squirting like a fire hydrant. This is good for her, because this kind of releases the inner reservations that she maybe having mentally, and after a good round of squirting, Mr Big's was ready for some more.

So at this point the fucking got really serious. He mounted her from behind, and began pounding the shit out of her. Slapping her ass several times, he thrust in and out with abandon. She matched his hip thrusts with her own, and soon the only sound you could hear in the room was the loud slapping of their bodies. Mrs ABC at this point felt her orgasm coming, and like she usually does she told him to "keep doing what your doing". The with a few more wild thrusts from Mr Big's, Mrs ABC began to moan, and then scream as her orgasm ripped through her body. It continued for some time and Mr Big's continued pounding her and pound her some more.

After she settled down, she flipped over on her back, she told him that she wanted to see him cum, and Mr Big's then focused on stroking himself into a orgasm. My wife said later in the car she enjoyed seeing the long rope leap from his cock, and was happy to see him pump his cum all over her stomach and breasts.

Well, let's just say we were a little spent at this point. I think the action got started a little after 9:30, and it was almost 11 PM. We thanked Mr Big for the fun night, his drinks, and dinner. What was cool about tonight was that Mrs ABC had her first massive orgasm with someone other then me. She was in fact before this night almost ready to pull the plug, due to the fact that we hadn't been with anyone that could please her like me.

One thing I like to do is do the post game on the ride home. Though my wife will comment at times, I probably do most of the chatting. Anyway, one observation we both agreed upon was that it was necessary for me to get involved in the process. I suggested that this maybe a subconscious need for me to be apart of the process, thereby allowing her to release herself into a orgasm. Plus the G-spot stimulation was probably important as well, and we both agreed that our decision to play ALWAYS together was a good one.

I know some couples and singles need to be one on one with another person. But for me and Mrs ABC, we're a team, and a team plays together all the time. I'm not suggesting that will always rule out separate play, but for the time being we're very happy with our current state of being.

It may seem fucked up to the normal person out there, but if Swinging is done correctly, it can be an awesome way to get closer to another.

Saturday Night - After Party - Part II

2009-11-16T09:36:00.000-08:00

I guess my wife and I are becoming popular with the "real" swinging couples. We've been attending these party's for 3 years, but this is the first year that we're now regularly invited to what is called a "after party". These after party's are where you get naked!...well sometimes you get naked.

So we left the Meet and Greet about 1:30 AM, which to us is very late normally. My wife get's really tired, usually she get's up at 5 AM each day, so this is well beyond her normal comfort zone. But the Tequila and excitement of flirting with so many men at the club had her in a great mood.

So about 20 minutes later we arrived at the private residence of the host of the after party. They have a nice house that has multiple levels, two of them had been designed for these type of parties. We arrived midway through the party, and there were already a number of couples at the party. At this point it was still pretty tame, but everyone was congregating by the bar. It was a little cramped, so I attempted to get my wife a drink, however I couldn't wiggle in to get one myself. So I politely asked the girl behind the bar to pour her a drink, which I got a mysterious smile and was asked, "So what will you show me for a drink".

Now normally I've been pretty shy about showing myself in public. As most guy's the thought of a crowd of people looking at my cock is something that just seems unnatural. I used to be worried about it's size, but after several experiences in the lifestyle I knew that wasn't a issue. Anyway, I noticed a couple ladies faces soften when the looked at my cock and I casually zipped back up and gave my wife her drink. Well the party then took off from there, my wife had been flirting with a friend of ours all night, and he became much more intimate with her while I watched as I sipped a glass of water. Soon the woman I met at the bar came up to me with a chain wrapped around her neck. She then instructed me to pull the chain tight against her neck and then proceeded to rub her ass against my crotch. Soon she turned around and she got down on her knee's and unzipped by levi's. Well you don't have to even imagine whats happening at this point and I am watching this girl I had just met begin sucking my cock. Pretty hot, and I was doing great, but there were allot of people in the room at this point, and I think she was uncomfortable on the floor. So she of course didn't finish at that point.

Meanwhile my wife and our friend was getting into it. He is gifted like myself with his fingers, and I noticed my wife pressed up against the wall with one of his hands buried in her pants. My wifes face was reflecting what she was feeling, and soon she began to pant and moan. Well this of course was only an appetizer, and at that point my wife came back to me and wanted to know if I was interested in a game of pool. So we went down another flight of stairs where not as many people were present, and wandered around the room looking at the various entertainment items this host had in their home.

Soon our friend found us downstairs and of course he was interested in a little more action. This time my wife was standing in front of me, facing out. Our friend approached her directly and began making out with her. She leaned back into me and I could tell pretty quickly that he was playing with her again. Soon she was really moaning, and I felt her body buckle almost at one point. Our friend chuckled at that point and told her he'd make her squirt. What he didn't realize is that my wife had until recently never squirted. But about a month ago we had a breakthrough, and she had learned to squirt more frequently each time we have sex. Now it takes me very little time to get her squirting all over my hand, and our friend was finding the same thing.

She later told me that he was good with his fingers and was massaging her G-spot quickly and expertly. She soon came all over his hand, which then he dropped to his knees sucking her clit and licking up her juices. At this point he was even more excited and I could tell she was as well. But then a few others came down stairs to watch the action and my wife got a little shy.

Not much else happened at that point, my wife had a little too much to drink and other then a little more socializing we made our exit at that point, which was still 3 in the morning. She of course was too trashed to do much when we got home.

Later the next day, she was still "wet" from the night before. Thinking about it all day, and I was finally ambushed by her Sunday afternoon. Let's just say it was HOT, and she's excited about going to more after party's. I'd say I am as well!

Saturday night Meet & Greet....part 1

2009-11-16T09:15:00.000-08:00

Well another fun weekend. My wife and I attended a meet and greet at a local club. A meet and greet is defined as a low risk way to meet other couples in the lifestyle. Clubs in Utah though will not allow wardrobe malfunctions (though you still see it from time to time), due to the fact these clubs sell alcohol. Therefore the Meet & Greet is an effective way to meet other couples, flirt, dance, and make connections. Usually at the end of the night private invites are given to attend what is known as an After Party.

Well Saturday night was a good one as usual at the club. Normally we get to the clubs between 9 and 10 PM. The party never really picks up until after 10, so it's really not an issue getting to the party early unless your meeting another couple. You always meet an eclectic mix of people each time you go to one of these things. Anyone that thinks a swing party is just a bunch of old ugly people or hot bodies is kidding themselves. You know what the average swinger looks like? Well at lunch, walk into a your favorite watering hole, or sandwich shop. Look around, and now imagine these people (minus the kids of course) with sexy outfits on their bodies and now you have your swingers.

Anyway, party went well. My wife was having allot of fun, she's really blossomed into a social butterfly. Before we started swinging, the party scene was the LAST place she wanted to be. But the lifestyle has helped her confidence greatly, not just the guy's who hit on her, but realizing that she had allot to offer to a social group. I've always been self confident in terms of my social skills with new people or crowds, but frankly she's better at making meaningful connections...plus she's HOT!

Did have one interesting conversation with another guy at the party. He has been a swinger for years. I always thought he was a big cocky, and he actually acknowledged that he was an "asshole" - typical bad boy persona. Anyway, I think that he wanted to give me some advice, and frankly I'm not one not to listen when it's given. He basically said he had been with over a 1000 different women in the 20 years he had been swinging. Seems a stretch, but when you divide 1000 by 20, that means he only needs to shag 50 women a year. (still seems kind of allot but I'm not going to argue).

Anyway, he says his secret is that he just sits back and relaxes at the parties. He said some guys in the lifestyle are over eager and try to hard to impress. He say's his secret is to be relaxed and confident. He told me that at this point he was tired of dating single women, and so he and his wife were only looking for couples at this point. One thing he said was interesting though. He said his basic attitude when talking to a women is that he could care less if he get's anything from the relationship, that if sex happens great, but it's not something he even worries about. Basically he's parroting the familiar mantra from most swingers, DO NOT HAVE EXPECTATIONS.

Meanwhile the party continued, and we were soon approached by one of our friends who stated they were having whats called an "after party" and she wanted us to come if we could. I thanked her and then spoke to my wife. To my surprise she wanted to go to the party and about 1:30 in the morning we rolled out to go to the next party.

Wife hookups with a friend

2009-11-08T12:20:00.000-08:00

As I stated, sometimes emotion can be a good thing. Case in point was a recent experience with one of our friends. We met Mr & Mrs W at a party not long ago. Since then we've become great friends. We've had dinner at their house many times, and Mrs W just went through a nasty series of medical procedures and has found sex to be difficult if not impossible at times. We just happened to meet them right before she had to go to the hospital, and though she and I have connected, we still have yet to share any physical intimacy.

My wife and Mr W, have also clicked, but unlike Mrs W and I, they have had no handicap to their physical flirtations. Every time we get together, it's difficult for them not to have their hands all over each other. It was tough at one point for myself. Due to Mrs W's issues, physical intimacy was the last thing on her mind. So she's been a little nervous around me, and finally it came to a head a few weeks ago after one of our dinners.

I was frustrated, and my wife even thought I was not over reacting this time. She also noticed that Mrs W was acting with a slight aversion towards me. At this point I just wanted some time to get over unrequited feelings about Mrs W, and so we took a break from this couple. Well, Mrs W, obviously realized that something was wrong, and to her credit continued to text and call me.

Well last week we got together with this couple for dinner at our house. I love to cook unlike some guys, and so I love to impress women with my culinary skills. I made a spicy pumpkin soup, with grilled pork chops. After a bottle of white wine, we had Mr W drive us over to the party (he wasn't drinking). After dinner, Mr W and I have a tradition of going to the store because we always forget something at dinner. Anyway, on the way back I told Mr W, that he was welcome to pursue things with my wife if he wanted. He had been very polite in many ways, and was relieved that I had given him permission.

So later we were at the party, and Mr W kind of hung out on the coach. My wife and I mingled as we usually do. I had mixed my wife a powerful brew, and she was having a ball at this point. I could tell she was pretty horny, and before the party I had told her about my conversation with Mr W, and warned her to bring some condoms just in case.

About an hour in the party, I noticed my wife quietly talking to Mr W, and then noticed them at the coat closet. At that point I knew it was going down, but was distracted by some interesting breasts that were at that moment in front of my face. Well about 15 minutes later I looked around and didn't see my wife or Mr W. So I naturally was curious if my assumption was correct and began looking for them. After walking up stairs and down, I realized that they were SOMEWHERE...LOL

Finding Mrs W, I asked her if she had seen them, and then we both smiled. Mrs W, then suggested we find them. Soon we did, they had just left one side room, and were entering another with a door that would lock. I could see my wife's flushed face, and Mr W looked pretty excited. Later I'd find out that they'd already had some fun, but the real fireworks were about to start.

At this point Mrs W and I decided to have a long over due discussion about our own relationship. She did most of the talking (strange), but communicated that she did like me, that she was attracted, that yes, it could happen someday. But at this point with her medical issues, even MR W, had not been on the receiving end of that much physical attention. I actually felt much better, it just felt she was being sincere, and then we decided we wanted to see some of the action.

But alas, we were too late, but then I received a nice rundown of what happened. Due to the fact they are such good friends of ours, I will refrain from describing in detail this experience. It was HOT, to say the least.

She did confide in me that Mr W when the had finished, exclaimed, "It was well worth the wait".

Now I was totally happy with my wife getting with her friend Mr W. Later the next day I was going through a little jealousy. It wasn't over the fact that they had gotten together, it was more about the fact that I hadn't the same experience or enjoy watching her with Mr W (something I enjoy).

My wife and I also decided that swinging is something we're doing for both of our benefit. It's something we like to share with one another. Therefore separate room play in the future would be avoided if possible. Even if I'm not getting it, I love watching, and it's unrealistic to always expect things to work out perfectly.

Jealousy and Self Confidence

2009-11-08T11:57:00.000-08:00

As I stated, this blog won't be just a blow by blow sexual account of my wife and I's encounters. I'm writing this blog to help those struggling or desiring to learn more about this lifestyle. As I stated before in my previous posts, it's NOT for everyone.

JEALOUSY - Thankfully it's not something I've had to struggle with often. Have I been jealous? Oh of course! But it's due to a number of feeling of inadequacy's and nothing to do with the the situation or my wife's activities with other gentleman. There are different levels of jealousy, and I think the hardest and most difficult to get over is that of emotional jealousy.

Someone in the lifestyle shouldn't be too concerned with the physical aspects of swinging. Normally most are not worried when they see their wife or husband kissing another person, or even more exciting, watching them give or receive pleasure with another sexual partner. But jealousy can creep into the overall picture rather easily, and if your not careful you can get caught up in it quickly.

I've been jealous at party's, when my wife get's allot of attention and I get very little from other females. I'm not jealous of the guys flirting with my wife, or the guys who make out or have sex with her. No, I'm jealous, because often I do not get nearly the same reaction from the girls I flirt with. This can eat your soul after a period of time, and it takes some serious communication and admitting that YOU could do or think differently.

It all comes down to self confidence. Especially if your a man in the lifestyle. Women are attracted to sexually and emotionally confident men. That's why certain guys get all the women! It's not that they are better looking (well...maybe sometimes...lol), or they're smarter, or they are even funnier. The reality is they are confident in themselves and women love it. I've been told and read that women like a tight ass, or great pecks, but they get really excited when a man is confident. If a man is confident, and it's not false masculine bravado, then perhaps this guy would be really good between the sheets!!

How to get self confidence is another story. Sometimes it only takes one successful hookup. Other times it can be your spouse helping you. My confidence has been one of self awareness, and also help from my wonderful wife. She is in my opinion one of the more HOT wives in our social groups. Many men desire her, and want to be with her. No she's not a barbie doll, but she has one of the most infectious smiles you'll ever see. Plus with her auburn hair and brown eyes guys often give her a double take at party's we attend.

I on the other hand am about 6-3, I'm over weight, but have lost 40 lbs in the past 6 months. I let myself go for some time, and so it's a long process getting back your health and lean looks. The other problem when you've let yourself go so long is the feelings of inadequacies that you feel about how you look. This can be a serious problem if you don't learn to forget about it. No, you won't be anymore attractive physically (unless you lose it, or work out), but luckily for men, a awesome personality makes a big difference to most women.

I used the fact that I go home every night with the HOTTEST girl in the world, and I was able to get her interested in me at one time as the catalyst for my increase in confidence. It just really dawned on me one night, that I was incredibly lucky to have her, but I also was not a slouch when I caught her eye. 15 years of marriage can ruin a man's game, but once you start realizing that you are a very interesting person and actually begin believing others want to talk to you, then the magic happens.

Just last night we were at a club in Salt Lake we frequent. Normally I have maybe one girl I don't know smile at me, or touch my shaved head. But last night I had multiple girls touching me, talking to me, or simply staring at me. NO, it's not the aftershave! I think it has much more to do with my attitude and the way I present myself non-verbally. I still have a long way to go, but I'm really looking forward to future stops at the club. I'm also now beginning to believe that other women would be really lucky to get one night with me. My wife agrees 100%, and she's known all along what a great guy I am.

Okay, now you see, it's just in the eye of the beholder. If you believe your HOT, then your hot. And I think jealousy is mostly a by product of a lack of self confidence.

Emotion.....is it a red flag?

2009-11-08T11:23:00.001-08:00

This maybe one of the most difficult things you may deal with in the Lifestyle. Emotion is something that most of us need to share our most intimate physical gifts. But then there is the danger that emotion could blossom into something that could eventually destroy your relationship with your partner.

It's nothing to take lightly, and most couples do not. The Lifestyle is purely based on trust, not only on the physical level, but the emotional as well. Are emotional relationships just plain stupid to get into?

I guess it really depends on the relationship you already have with your partner. If your having problems connecting already, then the danger of developing a emotional attachment to another couple or (partner) is very possible. One example is of a couple we know. They were playing with another couple, his wife got really close to the other male, and not to long afterword his wife left our friend, meanwhile the other male left his wife, and now the two are living together. Sure this happens in the real world as well, husband feels unappreciated, decides the secretary at work understands him more, and voila he's thinking his life would be better off with the secretary.

So is Swinging the reason these couples break up? My answer is a resounding NO. Yes, Swinging while having emotional attachment issues with your spouse is not only dangerous but down right stupid. But let's be honest, if things don't change radically, the marriage is going to implode anyway. Either partner is going to find their emotional needs in another persons arms. So swinging WILL NOT help a bad marriage get better.

Another red flag to watch out for in the lifestyle. Sometimes you'll hit it off with another person online. But be careful what they call Drama! Drama can be veiled in many ways. Often the drama maybe unrelated to the swinging, but it's happening within the other couples marriage. Case in point was a situation we ran into not long into our journey. A guy named Mr D had been flirting with my wife. We had met him online, then was introduced to his wife later on. Mr D was a trucker, and often was gone from his home for a week or more. After a few online conversations we all agreed to give one another our phone numbers, and agreed to text one another. OK - WARNING - texting can get you into allot of trouble! Don't open that door unless your open to your spouse reading ALL your texts, any time they want. It's all about the trust, and if your going to get crazy texting another person, then perhaps you shouldn't be swinging.

Well we knew upfront that Mr D and his wife were having issues. The whole reason he even agreed to swing was due to what he suspected as previous affairs by his wife. He admitted to me once on the phone that he and his wife never had emotional discussions, he had locked her out of his heart due to her cheating ways. But they had several children and he was making the best of it. What I didn't realize is that this guy was krypton, and I was soon to find out why.

During a months period of time, Mr D began texting my wife constantly. The texting quickly became quite explicit in terms of their flirting. It culminated with an all night visit to their home, which was an interesting party. Anyway, my wife was totally into Mr D, and I gradually was getting uneasy with the texts and the fact his wife was not interested in me at all. One pattern I began noticing, was that he would text my wife mostly when he was on the road, and would completely avoid texting when he was at home. Discussing the situation with someone much more experienced in the swinging world that I trusted, they warned me that he was using my wife for his emotional needs.

After having a long conversation with my wife, and a weird blow up with Mr D, I realized that my instincts were correct. Mr D wanted my wife emotionally, the physical wasn't a big deal to him, it was all about getting her emotionally. Finally, it came to a head with me when he made a snide comment about my skills as a husband (due to my wife working), and at this point I let my wife know that her continued communication with this guy was hurting me. I think it finally hit her that MR D was only using her as well, and at that point she shut it down.

So emotion can make some relationships sweeter, but it can also blow your world. Here are some rules to live with..

A) If the other couple is having "Drama" in their own relationship, DO NOT invite either party into your relationship. No matter how HOT they are, or into YOU they are.
B) Emotion is alright, IF YOUR MARRIAGE IS ALRIGHT. In other words, if you do not feel comfortable in your own relationship, then by no means continue in the Lifestyle.
C) Life it or not, if you have sex with the same person more then once, there will develop a emotional relationship. Make sure that all party's know that a relationship and emotional friendship are entirely different ballgames.

Reclaiming the territory

2009-11-08T10:54:00.000-08:00

Some couples call it reconnecting, we just call it "reclaiming our territory". Every time we're with someone else, we make it a priority to reconnect sexually. In the beginning we had a rule that stated that we'd have a 30 day cooling down period with anyone we hooked up with at a party or planned date. This we realized was not as important as the emotional and sexual reconnection that needs to take place after having sex with another partner.

Personally, the sooner this happens, the better. My wife has a autoimmune disease, and some night after a crazy party, she can be REALLY tired. This does not happen all the time, but when it does, I'm not getting anything until she's feeling better. Problem with most swinging events, the action never starts until LATE in the night.

So the next morning or evening, we often have HOT sex. Some of it is reliving the previous nights activities, but often it turns passionate and emotional. We'll then discuss any hangups we may have from the previous night.

Communication is SOOOO important if your going to do this. Without communication your really setting your marriage up for some hard times. It's not uncommon with your partner feeling emotionally inadequate even if you both had a great time. Don't fuck with these feelings, make sure you air them out with one another!!

Birthday Surprise

2009-11-08T10:18:00.001-08:00

One thing you'll realize in the Lifestyle is that you cannot have expectations about hookups. About a month before my wife's birthday, we had been having fun online with another single male. My wife and he had hit it off, and soon their discussions moved towards sexual flirtation. She of course told me about these conversations and so naturally a little idea began to take shape. So I began talking to this single male, we had two accounts with this service, so my wife didn't know I was speaking to him. But I suggested for her birthday that he meets us at a hotel, and then we'd take turns giving my wife the birthday of her life.

We'll all the way up to the very day of the planned celebration, he had confirmed he was coming. But the morning of he told me he couldn't make it, something to do with family issues. Well this was the second time this guy had failed to appear at an event he said he would attend, and it reaffirmed the stereotype that is out there, that single men are generally flaky.

So at this point my great plan was in trouble. It always pays to have a back up plan though! We're members of two different swing sites, and luckily a single guy who we'd been talking to infrequently happened to be in town that day. He's a traveling salesman and expressed interest in meeting us for drinks at a local bar.

So later that night I surprised my wife with the news that we were meeting someone at a local bar. First I took her to a ballroom dance lesson, something that I knew she had always wanted to do, and then we met our new friend at the bar.

We had a signal if she was okay with getting together with the guy. Then we met Mr R. He was an average looking guy, not bad looking. He was really cool, and everyone got along well almost immediately. Later in the meal he excused himself for a minute, and I got a "let's do it" signal from the wife.

Soon we left the bar and took him back to his hotel room. Arriving, we chit chatted for a few minutes, and then he acted like his back was sore. Of course my wife jumped on that hint and offered him a back rub.

Soon she was rubbing his back, but of course she needed better access, so she asked him to remove his shirt. We'll naturally she wanted to spice it up and soon her shirt was off, then her bra, then his pants, then her panties. Soon I was watching my wife was straddling Mr R, while kissing his neck and rubbing his body with her naked body.

Then it got more interesting. Soon she was giving Mr R a fine blow job, and at this point I needed to pull out my cock and slowly rub it as I watched this fine show. Big difference with this guy, he knew how to touch a lady. My wife was soon being fingered by MR R as she continued to blow him. As I watched, I later used a couple of techniques that I had never seen before.

(One cool thing about the lifestyle, is that if your not to proud, you can learn allot from your significant others lovers)

At this point my wife was ready for some carnal intercourse, and Mr R put on a condom. It was great watching him then guide his cock into her. At this point I joined them on the other bed, my wife taking my enlarged cock in her mouth while Mr R slowly fucked her. This continued, with the pace increasing, he was kneeling at this point, with her hips and legs pulled up on his lap. I was to the side of her with my dick getting sucked like no tomorrow.

At this point we changed positions, she then sucked his cock, while I got behind her and fucked her from behind. This continued until all three of us came, I blew first, followed by her, and then he blew exploded.

Well of course there was a round two, which was mostly Mr R getting another long protracted blow job, while he fingered her into another orgasm. At this point my wife said she had enough. Well, I think Mr R had a great last night in Utah, and the wife and I had an interesting end to a birthday night out.

One thing though we decided after this experience. Though it was exciting, both of us were a little taken back in terms of how it came about. Over the next week we both agreed that meeting a stranger and having them fuck one of us is just to crazy.

First couple experience....not so exciting

2009-11-06T13:59:00.000-08:00

The reality of swinging is that it's not always bells and whistles. Swinging can be HOT and it can also suck. Our second real experience was with a couple, and we could have not messed this up anymore then that night.

It was one of those Meet and Greet nights at a local club. Usually swingers will meet together in a public venue, but the organizer of the M&G will reserve tables just for our group, and then we get together and basically party and dance.

We'll we got to the club fairly early that night, and we were having a good time connecting with friends. Another couple joined us, one that we had flirted with online in a video chat. We hit it off, but I also had allot to drink already, so perhaps we wouldn't have gone home with this couple, but ALCOHOL makes everything seem better then it is.

I think part of the deal was that the female half of this couple was way into me, and for the first time I had another woman all over me. Well the conversation quickly turned to the fact that their house was close to the club, and soon we we were at their house.

Now here I need to stop the readers. When you "swing", you need to establish early and before any drinking, what the RULES are in terms of what your are comfortable with as a couple. I wish to this day that we'd been emphatic and telling this couple what our RULES were. One of the big rules for both my wife and I are that condoms MUST be used at all times. Especially with a new couple that we don't know at all. There are allot of other issues as well, the biggest is that my wife hasn't had her tubes tied, and she can't use the pill. So we use condoms our-self on a regular basis. The importance of tying her tubes has now become a priority, but that night was crazy.

So we arrive at their house, and my wife and Mr P are holding hands. I'm still hammered, but also nervous because now it's on for me as well. Mrs "P" decides to give us a quick tour of the house, and I notice my wife and Mr "P" go into a spare bedroom right off the master. Mrs P leads me into their bedroom, and we begin to make out. But before we can get started, she warns me that she just had finished her period (OH YUCK!!!). I mean my wife is one thing, but someone new is completely another issue! Anyway, a combination of factors were working against me at that moment. 1) drunk as a skunk...2) not to excited about the Period discussion 3) first time jittery...shit, this was the first woman other then my wife that I've EVER been with in my life. 4) I didn't even know her well, so I had little emotional attachment to her at that point.

So you guessed it, my one eyed monster was a scared little guy. Gotta give Mrs P credit though, she did everything she could to raise the dead. Meanwhile I could hear my wife and Mr P in the other room. I could hear my wife groaning as Mr P fucked her. Well at this point I asked if they had any viagra, and luckily they did. But that stuff takes 40 minutes to act, and so I finally stopped worrying about getting my cock up, and focused on making Mrs P happy. Luckily Mrs P is one orgasmic woman. You suck on her titties and she'll blow...You touch her pussy, and she'll blow.

Well at this point we took a break and joined Mr P and my wife in the alternate room. The lights were out, and they were just lying on the bed talking to one another. At this point we joined them for a few minutes, and I cuddled with my naked wife, and Mrs P layed next to Mr P. Still it was weird with the lights completely out, but that's the only way Mr P could function. (atleast he was...LOL)

At this point I was ready now for round 2, but the damn phone rang. Turned out Mrs P daughter was arrested for under aged drinking, and she had to leave. But as we were wrapping things up, Mr P (who hadn't cum yet), wanted one more round with my wife. Basically he pushed the issue, and finding out later he didn't wear a condom on his second go around. Luckily he's sterile, but shit it's dangerous with the many diseases out there.

Finally we got out of there about 3 in the morning, and as we drove home my wife told me he didn't wear a condom the second time. Then we had a very "hard" but firm discussion of what to do and not do. Plus we discussed why RULES are important, and WHY they are important to be faithful to. With my wife you only have to have the discussion once, and since then she's been tough as nails with anyone who doesn't want to follow that rule.

Several days later we both decided the following

1) Follow Rules
2) Don't make decisions to fuck others when drunk

As I stated earlier, Swinging is a progressive growing experience, and as you'll see, we still had allot to learn.

Popping our Cherry (okay it was more hers)

2009-11-06T13:43:00.001-08:00

June 2009, guess that really defines the month when we embraced the lifestyle. We'd been to allot of "swinger" party's over the past two years. Only one house party (where there were nekked people) but more social meet and greet type events, where they're be hundreds of couples at local bars or clubs. These events are usually well organized and though nudity and sexual contact is frowned upon at these events, it still goes on.

My wife had a number of cases where she'd made out, got fingered, or had some really nice slow dances with friends that we knew. She even had her first girl on girl kiss at one of the Halloween a party's we attended (to this day she still tells me how great it was). But we'd never gone all the way.

So late May of this year, we'd been both chatting online with a single guy who was interested in my wife. So over the process of several weeks, the casual flirting began to build. Eventually the discussion went to not IF, but when, could we go out to get a drink and see what develops. Finally after negotiating the location and what we would do and not do, we decided on a time and date.

The whole day before and day of was a constant build up. I had feelings of anxiety, excitement, but also nervousness. I wasn't the one getting fucked this time, it was my wife, but this type of thing is a mind fuck for couple, and even if your going to be with a single male (and your straight) it's still a rush.

Finally the time came to meet our friend "C" at the hotel. I asked my wife if she wanted to reconsider, but she assured me she was "wet" and ready to go. So after a dinner close to the hotel we were staying at, Mr "C" arrived about 10 PM to our suite. I am naturally the type to make people at ease, so he and I talked about where he grew up and football, and my wife quickly changed into a slinky outfit for him. Well I didn't have to say much more after my wife entered the room again.

He was sitting on a chair by our bed at that point, and she straddled him on the chair and they began to make out. Soon she pulled away and layed down on the bed next to me. She then gave him the "a" okay signal, and he joined her on the bed.

Well, let's just say it was one of the hottest things in the world to see your woman giving another guy a blow job. Then of course she gave me a blow job, while he mounted her from behind. She then concentrated on the coitus with Mr "C" and I of course took video and pictures while she enjoyed her new lover.

We of course were up to a second round as well, and I came 4 times that night. Mr "C" finally left our room, and I fucked my wife once more for good measure.

The next day it was a serious of "WTF" did we just do moments. I must admit though, my wife handled it much better then me. I was the one who had the most issues, but thank goodness my wife and I communicate, because it really helped processing the whole event.

Sex after this event was fantastic, but don't kid yourself, it's also an emotional roller coaster. Better then the sex, the coolest after affect was how close it drew my wife and I in terms of our emotional relationship. The fact that we could have this experience, and that we could both communicate and draw closer was a huge turn on as well.

We haven't gotten back together with Mr "C", and perhaps we never will, but we were happy with our first experience in the lifestyle.

How it all started

2009-11-06T13:26:00.000-08:00

Back in the late 90's, my wife and I remember watching a John Stossel report on "swinging" and "swing clubs". We were stunned by what we saw, but gradually while we had sex we began to fantasize about what these places would be like. In the beginning, we only fantasized about another single woman joining us in our marriage. But then I began pushing the idea of another man fucking her. This at first repelled her, but she admitted later that it did turn her on as well.

As our life continued, several babies later, the routine life we lived gradually took a toll on our sex life. Plus during the same period of time we began realizing that some of our "certain" beliefs about our Church, were gradually changing. Due to our strict upbringing, there were many things that were taboo that we had never tried like our friends when we were in college.

So naturally my wife became more curious about drinking or trying alcohol, something that I was already familiar with (another story). But I admitted one night to her that I had been to a number of strip clubs in Las Vegas. Surprisingly she wanted to see what a strip club would be like, and in 2006 we had our first chance to explore our sexuality in a new way.

I was at a business conference, and she flew out to meet me half way through. So the final night of the conference my wife and I had a ball. We attended Zumanity at New York New York Casino, and then she told me she'd like to see a strip club. Not more then an hour latter we were in Olympic Gardens. I knew Olympic Gardens had a male revue, but she was fine just sitting in the area where the female strippers were working the crowd. Not more then 5 minutes into our adventure a hot blond approaches us. She's got one of those Adult video bodies (which we found out she was in those video's), and she jumped on me of course first. I explained to her that this is my wifes first strip club experience, and you were the fantasy girl that she's always envisioned.

Oh watching your wife get a lap dance is hot!!!! Did I say HOT!!! I mean it! Soon my wife was being straddled by this amazing blond, and my wife couldn't help feeling this womans breasts. Soon I could see a dreamy glaze overcome her, and I knew we'd be in the VIP room with this stripper. A few hundred dollars later, and a fantastic lap dance with my wife, and my wife and I were fucking like teenagers in our hotel room.

At this point the genie was out of the bottle. We both had a great time, and the next night we went to our first real swingers club. Problem is that we went early in the evening, and we visited the Green Door. What I didn't realize is that my wife and I were just not that self aware yet of the lifestyle and what it brings. Now we'd probably have allot of fun, but that night was freaky in our minds. With older (60 plus) guy who kept following my wife around, single men whacking off in the public, and public sex in some of the rooms. Holy shit, Dorothy your not in Kansas kept running through my head!

Even after this overload experience at the Green Door, we decided that we'd like to approach this slower, and go to a few of the local party's first. So that's how we got connected to a website called Swingluar.com, and shortly after we put up a profile, and attended our first local party's.

Over the next two years, we gradually learned more and more about the lifestyle. We also met allot of wonderful people. The problem is that we were still "swirgins", and at that point we simply thought we hadn't had the opportunity, or as I later realized it, hadn't pulled the trigger.

Now in hindsight I'm glad we didn't do anything at that point. I don't think we were mentally ready at that time, and while we were learning about the lifestyle, we also were changing allot in our belief in terms of our religion.

Finally in June of this last year the real journey started...

OMG - we could never do that!

2009-11-06T13:09:00.000-08:00

If someone was to tell me 5 years ago, that I would be happily participating in the Swinging Lifestyle, I'd tell you they were crazy. My wife and I both grew up in conservative Utah, both from the predominate religion, and we extended families that are very active in the faith.

Some of you may wonder how we rationalize the two, but both my wife and I have long had doubts about our religion, and as far as it was concerned, was a non-factor in our decision to begin swinging.

Swinging, or the Lifestyle, is the act of sharing and participating together in a sexual way with each other and other couples or single males and females. Contrary to what some may think, the lifestyle is not littered with divorced people. Sure it has it's issues like every other lifestyle and their are divorces, affairs (surprising I know), but if you sat down with myself or my wife individually, we would both admit that this has actually made our emotional bond to one another that much stronger.

Let's put it this way....we were the average American family. We've had a number of children (keeping it ambiguous for privacy issues), and we've been married more then 10 years. We've been through financial troubles, we've dealt with all the issues everyone else deals with. We also had a great sex life, but at times I'll admit now that it was routine. Routine in that we pretty much did the same thing each time, and we both knew what to expect. It was fun, but there was not much to look forward to really like when we were younger.

I guess the best way to explain it would be the following. Remember when you had sex with your spouse or significant other for the first time. Yeah, that burning feeling in your gut, the excitement that would course through you during the day as you counted the minutes until you could see them again. Yeah, that's the excitement or thrill that is often missing in marriages today. Well guess what.....

No, I will be the first one to admit that the Swinging lifestyle is hard as hell on some people. Men in general can have a more difficult time then women. I know this surprises many, the preconceived notion is that men should easily get into swinging. Well there is some truth to that belief, but in reality swinging is controlled by women. Nothing happens, unless of course the lady is okay with it to happen. The other issue for men is that many women are bi-sexual in the lifestyle. This doesn't help, because often women only want other women, while still retaining exclusivity to their man. The negative of course is that men sometimes do not participate as often. Not that this is always the case and their can be a number of reasons for this, but if a Woman really wants to experiment in the lifestyle, then it's not difficult for her to can willing and able partners.

Now my blog is not going to be some philosophical pitch on why you should join the lifestyle. Neither is it going to be some tantalizing expose on the negatives of the swinging world. I just want to talk about my wife and my experience in the lifestyle, and also various subjects that relate to our experiences within it.

At this point I'm going to address several posts, as to catch up in a sense. I will then on occasion update this as I go along.